thread I am in a meeting.
I really, really need to poo.
permalink Just fucking excuse yourself
Get up, go, do, come back
permalink Announcing, on your return,
“I’d give that a few minutes if I were you! Right. What did I miss?”
permalink while doing Marcel Marceau
wafting hand and nose-peg impressions of course
permalink Possibly even a big sigh
and a "fookin' 'ell, that's better" as you reenter the room
permalink While still doing up your belt
with a copy of the Racing Post held in your armpit
permalink or
"I don't remember eating *that*"
permalink “Ooh, me ringpiece! Last night’s curry is giving me the burn!”
....
permalink "Someone give the coastguard a ring.
That one's a danger to shipping"
permalink Stop, raise one finger and say
"Actually, there's more" and leave the room again.
permalink raise a leg as though to let one off
before suddenly looking very worried and bolting from the room
permalink Pop back a few minutes later and ask
"I don't suppose anyone's got any spare pants?"
permalink GOTO 10
......