thread I think I have a tedium headache
Not a tension headache... a tedium headache.

I'm bored shitless and I have a sore head.

I want to go home now.
permalink Same.
Currently trying to work out how to word job applications to explain the fact I've only been in this place for six weeks and am already applying for other things...
permalink I have to bash together something for tomorrow
which involves words like "stakeholder".
permalink anyone had a good idea
we could all run as a team from here
permalink After tomorrow lunchtime
I can do some interesting work.

It's just a bit shit until then.
permalink Right... I'd better get my arse along to Marble Arch to talk about
stakeholder engagement


Might have a pint on the way back to the office at lunchtime.
permalink agile
engagement, don't forget engagement.

and mention millennials somewhere.
permalink I still don't know what Slack is
but it got mentioned at work once and everyone nodded appreciatively, so say that.
permalink It's basically IRC
with extra annoying flashiness.
permalink Slack you say?

permalink which is what I always think
then remember some shit boutique in Leeds trying to sell photocopied flyers with him on for a fiver.

When I went to look on google maps I found a bar called the 'Friends of Ham'

It's been a rollercoaster ride this morning.
permalink 'shit boutique'
is pretty niche, you have to admit.
permalink it's Leeds
I wouldn't put anything past them.
permalink Friends of Ham?
I have questions...
permalink slicker annoying flashiness.
IRC had annoying flashiness, but you had to script it all yourself.

The best bit of being a mod of a big sub on reddit was the slack for our mod team. I still pop in now and again.
permalink I do not understand Slack in a work environment.
I mean, we have emails.
permalink That's like saying "I don't understand talking to people IRL because we have emails."
which I don't think you would. Slack is IRC, so it's more widely collaborative than emails, it's easier for multiple people to be in the same conversation. But it's not as demanding of attention as an actual conversation in person or on the phone, and you don't have to respond immediately.

So it's like a conversation with a group of people who are in the same room, but without the time constraints. So it's cheaper, because you're not taking people away from their jobs to sit in a meeting.

Also, everything's recorded as a searchable archive so you can always check back on what was said. You might want to see the justification for a decision or find out who actually dropped the ball.

And then there's the scripting side of it. There are simple responses, so if there's a link or something you regularly use but can't remember you can add a shortcut. Or you can do something more complicated. So in the reddit slack we had links to the wiki and to the automod script, and we could shadowban from the slack which made it much easier.

I get that it's not for everyone, but there are certainly justified uses for it.
permalink We are a software company, so we have some excellently scripted bots, BUT . . .
Whilst I can see why the channels are useful for teams working on a couple of projects to give everyone in that project team input and exposure, for me, having to look at literally every project, it is a nightmare to stay on top of. I wake up to 1000 messages of which 2 re relevant to me, and nothing to find them - I would rather have emails every time.

And I really would rather email than talk to people internally as well.
permalink So the obvious mechanism there is that slack is useful for your project teams
and you should be appraised of anything relevant via email by the project lead.

I like your use of "so", implying that of course a software company would have some excellently scripted bots.
permalink Yeah, I think so.
If you have decent engineers then they will be writing decent scripts.
permalink We use it. Well, as a company we do. I do not.
I have a friend who works there, but I do not understand the value.
permalink My stakeholders were engaged with
If you check back.

Not sure how agile it was.
permalink well going forwards
we need to uplift the feedback loop.

permalink I'll be cutting the feedback loop now
until I have turned the high-level vision into an actionable plan.
permalink Were any envelopes pushed?
Or wheelhouses exited?
permalink No. It's quite important the no envelopes are pushed too far
We need to stay within the etstablished limits of the more innovative envelopes that are proven in the marketplace.

I have absolutely no fucking idea what exiting a wheelhouse is all about, but I don't think one was involved.
permalink It's a septic one that I've heard more & more just recently
About being out of one's area of expertise or comfort zone

permalink What bollocks
I have exited the shithouse today, but that's about it.

Oh, and I exited the house.

permalink One septic thing I found out the other week
Is that when they say something was"tabled" the mean "shelved", not "discussed"
permalink Oh fuck!
I may have been judging someone inappropriately for almost six years.
permalink But that makes absolutely no sense at all
Silly Septics!
permalink I guess they mean
That they put it down, rather than keeping it in hand
permalink start using other items of furniture as metaphors
with great confidence so that everyone assumes it's a thing.

"Let's just sideboard that until next month and get the other project piano-stooling"
permalink don't tell them where you are working?
just omit that from your CV

or tell them you are there for a short term project / covering an absense or something.

or just tell them you just arrived and it's a flaming nightmare.
permalink I think I'm going to go with option 3.
Honesty being the best policy and everything. I've just got to word it right to make it obvious it's not my fault...
permalink tough one because you have to make it clear you aren't picky
or will just leg it at the first sign of hassle..

why is it by the way?

perhaps discuss how you feel they did not describe the role correctly or that the situation changed as soon as you were hired, or they are poorly organised, or they touched your winky,

on another topic.. getting to nuremburg form London is a bloody nightmare.
permalink Just ask that
Mr Hitler!
permalink you get out quicker with
the spear of destiny tucked in your overhead
permalink God, now there's an 80s band
I hadn't thought of in many a year
permalink It's a mixture of 2 and 3...
After I accepted the job, but while I was still working my notice period at my old place, the new CTO arrived and changed the strategy, organisational layout, etc, and basically the job I was hired for doesn't really exist (and the nearest equivalent has been filled by someone who already worked here). So I've got almost nothing to do apart from a few tasks that should really be done by someone more junior.

Sadly, there's been no winky touching.
permalink maybe if you took it out and showed it around, that would help
permalink I believe Snapchat is how it’s done these days.
permalink I'm just
permalink I had an OK Monday
Got quite a few things done, although more slowly than I'd have liked. But for some reason, couldn't switch brain off last night, so a shit night's sleep for no apparent reason.
permalink i'm about to prepare for tomorrow with some pancake practise
permalink Oh is that today?
I always forget about that these days...
permalink The good thing about being a heathen
Is you can have pancakes whenever. Taunt the believers by having them on Wednesday, if you feel like being an arse for no good reason
permalink I've pencilled them in for the weekend
I won't get back in time tonight to fill the child full of jammy pancakes, so might as well do it saturday.
permalink the only reason i realised was i'm hanging out with some
wierdos on ash wednesday

it's been kind of odd having them on the 'proper' day
a bit like eating xmas food (which is really just an exaggerated sunday lunch i'd have down the pub)

edit: what i DID forget yesterday was data privacy day
permalink I put my data privacy day decorations up last week
.edit. I tell you what, my google activity is bloody tedious.
permalink I mean if you do have pancakes tomorrow
don't fucking message believers with pictures of you doing so because that would be super shitty
permalink a bit like Dawn Foster
(who I respect usually) doing mock outrage because apparently Jeremy Corbyn's media people didn't answer her enquiry as to what he's giving up for lent. FFS she's a lefty guardian journo she should already know he's an atheist she won't have asked Sadiq Khan the same question.
permalink Back hurting
fuck everything.

What is the fucking point?
permalink Depends who you ask really, but it generally falls into two camps.
Either there is an all powerful being, and therefore the point is to glorify God, or there isn't, in which case the point is to reproduce.

So either your purpose is simply to raise your children to a point of self sustenance or everything you do should be to the glory of God.
permalink Bollocks to both, actually.
I'm quite happy as an atheist who has never felt the desire or indeed the need to reproduce.
permalink your purpose is to ponce about in restaurants
not so sure about the sweaty gym selfies though.
permalink Proof to an old mate
that she's right about gyms.

I shall, however be poncing about in a restaurant tonight.
permalink In leisure wear
one hopes
permalink Yes*

Nice restaurant though, very nice indeed. Mommi, the Latin American/Japanese place I was banging on about the other day.
permalink Do you have to do jazz hands
whilst saying the name?
permalink It's compulsory.
permalink ^ this
permalink Then answer the question,
what is the fucking point?
permalink sausages
permalink This is the closest anyone has come
I fear.
permalink Strive to survive
causing the least suffering possible
permalink Enjoy your brief time in this universe
Whilst trying not to be too much of a dick about it?

That's pretty much it, really
permalink This..
permalink That only works
if you are enjoying it though.
permalink Well, there was an implied "try to"
before all that
permalink And the addendum to this already extensive philosophical manifesto
would be that you won't always enjoy it, and you won't always manage not to be a dick. Try not to sweat it, that's just life. Touch my bum.
permalink I shall not touch your bum.
I do try, it just hurts too much.
permalink Well, if you're not going to follow the sage advice
of the Cheeky Girls, I really don't know what I can say...

and how do you know my bum hurts? I mean, my glutes are a little sore, lots of running up hills, but still. Most presumptuous!
permalink It was the massive weeping wound,
and its associated festering, which gave it away.
permalink When every day is a ball of white pain
it is very hard to think that any God would want me to put up with this pointless trial.
permalink he likes a laugh as much as the next person/omnipotent being
permalink this guy might know
permalink pancakes
permalink I am eating crumpets.
Being thin might feel good, but getting thin is painful and, whilst being fat ain't the best, getting fat is fucking amazing.
permalink I had bacon, jam and banana in one.
It was good, but not the right jam.
permalink Banana, golden syrup and grated dark chocolate
Was our fave
permalink I had 3 with nutella and maple syrup
then 2 stuffed with roast vegetables, pesto and cheese
and then 3 more with nutella and maple syrup

my belly most definitely does not resemble a pancake, despite being full of them
permalink I only knew it was on
Because I took a shortcut through the Indonesian missionary uniting church to get to the supermarket as it was raining and they were giving them away.
I don't know that many in the congregation understood what was going on, and they had some very peculiar filings going on.
Chicken floss, satay, peanut sauce, kecap manis, crispy squid, and the obligatory sambal belacan were all on offer alongside the usual accoutrements.
permalink I don't know what chicken floss is
but i am intrigued.
permalink it's a real delicacy
rare as hen's teeth
permalink Just ultra dried and shredded meat, in this case chicken
permalink ahem