thread I'll see what I can do.
I think the Sexy Spaniard has a photo. It's not just the sofa... there was a fucking stage SET.
permalink OK... get a load of this
https://img1.wsimg.com...
permalink that is pretty special
we've got the spare room set up like that.
permalink I do hope you relaminate the floor
with your guest's names each time
permalink and make them dance up the stairs, taking about half an hour to get there.
.....
permalink and the Bishop of Woolwich
is sitting on the windowsill
permalink And Alistair rubs dollar bills in your face.
While Amy harangues you on a PA system.
permalink Keep going...
permalink Are you close?
?
permalink Well, I was
But the moment has passed
permalink JFC, that's
tacky as fuck.
permalink On a scale of one to fuck me that's awful
Frankly, I broke the needle on my fuck-me-that's-awful-ometer
permalink You need a special high-range fuck-me-that's-awful-ometer
With overload protection.

And goggles.
permalink Or the set
of TOWIE.

I'm guessing.
permalink I have quite a few nigerian colleagues
from what I understand, a LOT of money changes hands at these events, and if you were feeling unwelcome, that's probably because you had been judged to have not made enough of a contribution

I think the press-ups thing is also a modern replacement for some far less pleasant manhood-proving rituals, depending on which bit of Nigeria they're from
permalink I was feeling unwelcome well before there was even an opportunity to buy US dollars...
...from the spiv going round all the tables brandishing a huge wad of cash.

permalink a colleague who recently got his doctorate
told me he intentionally delayed submitting his thesis until after his wedding, because if he had the title 'Dr' the amount he would have been expected to give to his fiancees family would have doubled, and it was already bankrupting them