thread The reason there isn't another Chuckle sibling... their Dad had a vasectomy, vasectoyou
permalink That I shall use
and claim as my own.
permalink Much like I did.
permalink anniversary of Roy Orbison's death
time to drag out the best 80s joke.

"what weighs 8 lbs and won't get plucked this Christmas?"
permalink I don't know
what weighs 8 lbs and won't get plucked this Christmas?
permalink Roy Orbison's guitar
at the time, that was the greatest joke ever written.
permalink Actually, there's two more
who are known as the Patton Brothers.

If you said "another younger" then it'd work.

Edit: One of the Patton brothers met a ChuckleVision fan and married her. He was 85 and she was 26. Link.
permalink I thought it was clear that pzyxywyg meant another Chuckle sibling
beyond the known four.
permalink I disagree. He sets the context to Barry and Paul by using their catchphrase.
It's good, it's just not quite factually accurate.
permalink I couldn’t give a fuck.
permalink Why do you have to be like this?
You are just spoiling it for everyone.

Seriously, what is it that you think you gain?
permalink I'm with Pxywgy on this one
no one cares about facts when there's a joke at stake.
permalink This all pales into insignificance compared to the news that
an 85 year old abused his power as a Chuckle to wed someone almost 60 years his junior.
permalink Or the fact that an 85 year old
part time Chuckle brother wields any power at all.
permalink ChuckleChuckleChildBride, ChuckleChildBride
permalink Because I really couldn’t.
Why would I?
permalink Because everyone knows that already. We all feel like that.
There is no need to say it.
permalink And, for a change,
I said it. Tough fucking shit.
permalink I have no idea what you two are going on about.
But let's play nice on this special day, the day of the birth of the Chaotic Lord of Light...
permalink *flashes*
that should take their minds of stuff for a moment.

They're SHINY.
permalink *faints*
permalink Oh my!
*drops monocle in martini*
permalink the tassles really bring out
the colour of your eyes..
permalink I know, that is what prompted my question.
Why do you have to be like this?
permalink Because I fucking want to.
permalink I am just going to sit back, with this here cup of coffee
and bask for a few minutes in the sheer impressiveness of Manley asking anyone "Why do you have to be like this?"

permalink This.
permalink Finished that coffee
And have a peppermint tea now, but still basking
permalink Peppermint tea
after coffee? Weirdo.
permalink Why do you have to be like this?
permalink Pfffft!
permalink Also, congrats on your
permalink Ta!
Fush and chups and a nice buttery chardonnay coming up!
permalink I was never under the assumption that you did.
permalink I was going to say that
re: the link. I've never seen Little Britain, but that looks like something from Little Britain.
permalink Yes. Because she looks like Matt Lucas.
thread Guess the city!
4 clues:

I paid £4 for 1/3 of a pint of beer

I drove past the point where i first heard that ODB died

I had dinner in a place where Marco Pierrre White has never set foot in, eve thought the restaurant bears his name (and several dozen portraits)

I rather like it.
permalink and because i've just noticed the time
you can have a bonus point for my subsequent destination.

permalink Would it be too obvious to say Denver?
If not, dunno, Boulder? Salt Lake?
permalink You've been paying attention .. but not enough
I am in the UK

Though in did get served by a chap From Colorado he seemed a little lost
permalink Hey, I was trying my best*

*well, at least I was trying
permalink Morning.
Outlook will send replies, but "can't contact the server right now" if I send a new email.

permalink French Elvis
has left the building.

He died as he lived: ignored by everywhere but France
permalink Leeds?
permalink you got the first letter correct
permalink Liverpool
permalink Lincoln?
permalink Leicester
permalink Laos talk
costs lives
permalink I discounted Leicesesester
as he'd have been mean not to say "you got the first two letters correct"
permalink this isn't Mastermind you know.
permalink It was liverpool
permalink Fair enough
Although I don't think we should Mersey beat ourselves up too much for not guessing
thread I'm a month into my new job
and I think I know what I'm doing, which is a bit odd as I'm only a month in. I'm sure it took a few years before I felt this confident in my last job.

Are you all sorted for Christmas?
permalink god no, half prepared at best
might have a mince pie later.
permalink Not bad,
a bunch of my friends visited two weeks ago so that's a chunk of presents done already, brothers haven't told me anything yet, everyone else is pretty much done except secret santa for work.

Al's ordered the turkey so aside from boshing through the potato aisle and the alcohol aisle in the supermarket, we're sort of ok.
permalink You seem very casual about my lack of gift buying
I like this

I'm assuming my afternoon in the Hague next week will mean I come home with more than a Bosnian war criminal
permalink He didn't ask if *you* were all sorted
but in any case this is my total lack of surprise face.

FYI in case it's not clear, a Bosnian war criminial is not an appropriate Christmas present.
permalink I don;t really engage with Christmas until after my birthday.
Although I bought some tickets for the Spaniard before they sold out, and have been investigating miniluminator's laptop.
permalink They're selling tickets
For the Spaniard?

Do you not get free entry? As it were.
permalink Ha! You’ve met her... I don’t think there’s going to be any ticketing!
I bought her tickets to see a show later in the year that I know she’ll love...
permalink He he
Indeed. What's the show?

I am waiting for 1pm, and a chance to pounce on tix for Leftfield in AKL in January
permalink Also, happy birthday
Seeing as it is your b'day here in futureland
permalink And now here as well.
Although not there, just yet.
permalink Now it is there too.
permalink age brings confidence? or maybe you just give less of a shit..
i don't do xmas at all
permalink bollocks
haven't been registered with a dentist in years (been on my to do list). Have slightly chipped a tooth. hopefully can get an emergency dentist appointment before i slice my tongue open
permalink Only an idiot
Wouldn't have been registered with a dentist for a decade of course
permalink I have no idea what you mean
*walks away whistling*
permalink *innocent face*

actually mine wasn't quite 10 but last time I broke a tooth (on fucking CEREAL) I tried to get an appointment and discovered my last visit was registered at my first address in town so that was at least 7 since I moved out of that one in 2010.
permalink I managed 17
only ended up needing a couple of fillings though
permalink My grandad
Lost his last tooth on a tomato sandwich

To much hilarity... Though in retrospect maybe he wasn't so into the humour

I was about 9 at the time so couldn't comment

permalink the one at the bottom of Milton Road
where the Westbrook centre used to be used to be very good, they sorted me out at short notice after I hadn't been registered in years.
permalink there's an actual NHS place
at Brookfields, near my house, that does emergency and specialist stuff. Can't register there for standard stuff though
permalink Emma used the one opposite Budgens on the corner of Cherry Hinton road and Perne/Mowbray Road
for years, she's still got most of her teeth and no fillings.

[edit] I realised what I said, she had a wisdom tooth out, all the rest are still there.
permalink I have been in Australia nearly 17 years and never been to a dentist.
I discovered it's far cheaper to go on holiday to somewhere in SE Asia, and get work done there.
1 wisdom tooth extraction, 3 filings and 40 minutes of teeth cleaning for just over 50 quid.
thread It’s my birthday on Wednesday
I had a day of leave to take before the end of the year.

So... birthday off. All day to myself before meeting the Spaniard in town for dinner.

Apart from a lie-in, a leisurely wank, and lunch in the pub, what should I do with my birthday me-time?
permalink I was going to suggest
1. Crank
2. Crosspost
so it seems like you've got it more or less nailed.

Happy birthday anyhooo!
permalink Watch utter crap on TV.
permalink Ah! Yes. I should factor a bit of that in.
permalink why would you do that to yourself?
permalink I would say go comando
to the meet with the Spaniard... just so you can get in there quicker.

or just wear a sexy new dress.
permalink I like this
Good for me
permalink That Oxford comma
Is doing some fine, fine work
permalink Hells yes,
Who wants a leisurely lunch ;)
permalink It was very specifically deployed.
Even in a Wetherspoon, lunchtime would be a bit early for a pubwank.
permalink late, surely?
I'd expected breakfast to be the domain of the wetherspoons onanism collective
permalink Great Peel session
permalink Guess the airport - part 2
Clue: there's lots of confused transferring americans and I just paid £15 for a small salmon sandwich and a beer
permalink hamsterjam
ship pole
permalink I am here
In Amsterdam, that is.
permalink Wait until thursday and i'll buy you a pint
permalink Flying out on Thursday morning
I could possibly actually met you at the airport for a swift one.
permalink I have a meeting an hour after I land, so have to rush
I'll waive, i'm landing on the 9.25 from southend. easyjet.

permalink waive.
How lovely.
permalink That could be many many airports.
I'm going for Heathrow.
permalink Its really fucking good salmon
and the sandwich is unfinished
permalink Somewhere Scandi then
Copenhagen? Stockholm?
permalink You're warmer
But it definitely isn't here
permalink Oslo?
That's a fucking expensive place.
permalink Also liable to have good salmon.
permalink It was Reykjavik
Which i am now leaving, for another round in 9 hours' time :)
permalink dammit i was going to guess that
from the transfering americans
permalink 9 hours, presumably from Keflavik
Hmm, Seattle, LAX, Portland, SFO, Miami?
permalink To get here
I had to leave on a jet plane
permalink That must have been interesting
permalink DENVER!
permalink dingdingding
never been to the mid(ish)-west before, everything is so spaced out and unnecessarily huge.

also set myself the 'get to hotel using only public transport' challenge, which was one of the hardest I've done. Obviously only insane people don't drive everywhere. Plus it's a wee bit nippy out
permalink I believe that there are things to do there
if you are dead.
permalink Do they still have the massive blue
Rearing stallion with the glowing red eyes at the airport?
permalink Flew there to go skiing
A few years ago. Didn't see much of Denver, got picked up by minibus for the transfer, which was "over the berthoud pass in a full whiteout". Exciting/terrifying
permalink didn't notice it
but it's a big ol' airport
permalink Heathrow
permalink I had breakfast with a man who was chaplain to Nelson Mandela on Robben Island.
Interesting stories.
permalink Visit Dennis Severs' House
I think it's open on Wednesday afternoons.

And HBD for then too xx
permalink Oooh! yes! I think it is!
I've been meaning to go there for ages.

Of course, it depends how massive the wank is as to whether I have time.

Or "massive wohnk" as the lovely Spaniard pronounces it.
permalink that is
permalink Who doesn't love a massive wohnk?
I know you're partial.
permalink wellcome usually has something interesting on and there's a good
chippy round the corner

hBd in advance
thread Morning all! Who doesn't love a hot and sunny Monday morning?
Still, enlivened somewhat by the fact I dun gone won a prize! Only an internal thingy for the best paper by someone in our group (petroleum, palaeontology, oceans and geothermal) this year, but still, nice to have. This is the paper in question, should anyone care:


On the other hand, we are having a strategic review at the moment, and the CEO is releasing a video this arvo telling us all about it, now the board has OKed it. So everyone is rather nervous this morning.

So, is it starting to feel a lot like xmas to you lot? Cos it ain't around here! Way too warm!
permalink I found a free SIP trunk provider,
and bought a thing that lets me use a landline phone for voip. It worked without any faffing at all despite my VM homehub 3.

So now I'll pay 1.2p per minute for landline calls, no line rental.
permalink Cool
All our landline calls are kinda VOIP at this point, as we got all fibred up a couple of years ago, and no longer have a copper connection at all. Still pay line rental though! Well, bundled with t'internets
permalink I think it's the same with virgin
and I object to paying lots for something that doesn't cost anything.

I'm going internets only with VM as we don't have a telly box (but are charged for it because of the structure of the bundles) and I can dump the landline.

What's annoyed me is that I paid £40 for a box that allows me to use a normal phone with voip when my superhub clearly has the capability of doing this already but the software won't let me.
permalink well done
I mean, they're all obviously words, and several of them seem to be in English, I'll have to trust your colleagues beyond that that they mean something in that order...
permalink Go you, sir!
Is there a substantial cash prize?

One assumes not.
permalink No, there is the glory
of getting my name engraved on a plaque next to a bit of polished dunite
permalink YAY for YOU!
#gobblegook ;)
permalink Good luck
And guess the airport, I suppose.
permalink LHR T2
permalink Indianapolis International
permalink Neither
Sorry, I must try harder.
permalink LGW
permalink I had to look up where Indianapolis was
answer: not where I expected.
permalink Not India.
In the same way that Kentucky is not in Kent.
permalink I was thinking down, and left a bit
I quite fancy going, it looks quite nice.
permalink I did imagine it to be
further to the left.
permalink Clearly it is time for
modernist gingerbread
permalink nice
though who includes the extension in the gugenheim?

permalink The Corbs are a bit scruffy.
permalink Short version
We're fucked

Long version:
It seems pretty likely that we are fucked.

That'll make the client do this evening fun
permalink aaaaack.
(short version)

Did you suspect this and have already made exit plans?
permalink There aren't really any easy exit plans here in NZ
So I suspect it will be a case of weathering the inevitable multi-year shitstorm that comes with cuts in funding and pooling of a whole load of disparate projects into one big new one, where there is a massive bunfight for money. Fun times ahead, me hearties!

Still, at least I got some free sushi this lunchtime
permalink Sounds entertaining
short term, in the meanwhile why not run around shouting I WON AN AWARD, ME, GIVE US CASH.
permalink Pierce Brosnan
won a prize?
permalink finally, some sort of acknowledgement
for the best James Bond
permalink Or at least
The best Remington Steel