thread Axis 2- creating a more impactful salesforce
.
As the person in front of me has just typed into powerpoint
permalink Axis 3- activate market driven plans.
...
permalink Axis 5 - PROFIT
.....
permalink bang that on a powerpoint at TED
silicon valley'll be right up you before you know it.
permalink clearly a complete twat.
...
permalink +10 points
if there's a word cloud in there
permalink do people still take about axises (it's axes isn't it? it didn't look right)
like they're good business things? we've been using 'bucket' quite a lot as a corporate thing recently. We don't enjoy ourselves much, let us have that.
permalink what the fuck is an axis, in this context?
???
permalink Wheely chair
pole dancing
permalink Multivariate
Muthafuckers!!!
thread This holiday business is knackering
Kayaking, aerial assault course, river tubing, a couple of half-hearted runs, plus a lot of sitting in the sun drinking beer.

A couple of quieter days at my mum's now, then minilluminator goes home, and the Spaniard arrives for a few days of festival, random trips and chilling out.
permalink i have been away from home for a corporate jolly, a holiday and work
for 13 days straight, and am going from manchester to london via glasgow tomorrow and i am absolutely battered.

a bath and early bed form me tonight
permalink Blimey
Sounds sensible. I'm hoping for an early night too...
permalink Friday week
we're off to Korea. Can't wait.
permalink Awesome!
That will be fascinating, I reckon...
permalink Yep.
Got the first two hotels booked, three nights in Seoul and two in Danyang. After that, Ulsan, Busan, Jeju and back to Seoul, we reckon.
permalink well I've not got work next week
what with not having a job then
permalink :(
ah shitsticks. wish I could help but I'm thinking about not sticking around here too long. Charitable sector is seriously stressful. or at least this unit is.
thread Bigger me it's hot in barcelona
We are expecting a low of 29 at 5am tonight.

Quite a lot of cold beer will be required methinks
permalink At 4:59pm
I will make two huge tangerine margaritas. All the ingredients are currently in the fridge.
permalink I habe a cold Chimay waiting for me
when I come home tonight at 22:30.
This is my last Saturday late shift as the new job won't have Saturdays or lates.

But yeah, it's hot as fuck.
permalink I've just been up a 6m ladder, fucking hell
Now I'm about to crack open an ice cold black lager.
permalink I had an afternoon nap
now a hipster IPA
permalink Two cocktails and three pints later,
and I’m feeling no pain.
permalink I bet there is a hipster IPA
Called afternoon nap
permalink We've had cold beverages, air con,
and minimal clothing and it's still fucking hot.
permalink went out to watch the womens road race today
(which is worth watching, at least the last 30 minutes...it's all a bit odd)

at one point I was stood next to the road watching the leading group on the eurosport app while the peloton went past and saw myself on camera...meaning I was watching myself watching myself watching myself etc^infinity
permalink Are you now in the matrix
..
permalink I suspect this is an appropriate time
to tell you to get in the fucking sea. *points* go on. get.
permalink I have a largish dent in my leg from a drinking injury that precludes the sea
And neither of us really like the beach.

And walking there would be basically torture.

We are basically hopping between air-conditioned bars
permalink still
that sounds nice.

anyone want a weeks holiday in Norwich looking after two cats and a fish tank?
15th October week. Free house and cat cuddles, all the food in the cupboards.
permalink Potentially... We might be up for that.
Depends on work travel and stuff though.

Would you be up for cat sitting in London while we are there?
permalink boyfriend is booking a surprise
holiday (squeeeeeeeeee) ... so sorry I don't think so, but another time yes! we can do swapsies!
permalink I've not been doing much sailing this year
so hadn't noticed something that most people won't have noticed either- that for most of this year there's been less wind than usual across England (at least). Chatting at the B14 Nationals in Paignton (Thursday through Sunday, blighted by light winds) people who'd come from both Restronguet (River Fal, Cornwall) and Brightning (Blackwater, Essex) and all points in between along the south coast were bemoaning light breezes since the spring, especially at weekends.
permalink really? every time I try to go out on my bike it's blowing a gale
.
permalink It’s gorgeous in the Cairngorms
Not quite as hot.
permalink Forecast highs of 36/37ºC
here in Berlin today and tomorrow. Although at least it's calmed down a bit from the previous forecast of 39.
permalink that would kill me
do you get time off work in those conditions?
permalink I think officially,
if it reaches 40ºC the employer has to take steps to cool the office, or something like that.

But in reality, I'm just working from home with a fan.
permalink it doesn't get down to 29 until 8-9pm in london at the mo
been hitting the park for pizza (or other takeout) at about that time as it's tooo hot to cook in doors (and sick to death of salads)

fortunately it's cooling down tomorrow onwards which is nice
permalink new fridge!
this is highly exciting as it means milk in tea for the first time in days
permalink Rain!
We have rain!
thread The French attitude to queues
Is making me feel less bad about Brexit.

Or maybe that's just the hangover.

It seems if you push I to the queue really slowly that's fine.
permalink and we all know
they wee in the street and eat snails. those french, tsk!
permalink The French attitude to queues
is similar to mine. Jump it if you can, but if someone else jumps in front of you, kick their fucking heads in.
permalink Italians don't go slowly
and use their elbows
permalink ...and shout.
All the fucking time.
permalink ...and when queueing?
permalink pfft!
you guys have had italian gf's before i see ;)
permalink FFS.
Possibly the stupidest reason ever to have been unfriended – after a barrage of abuse – on FaceBook. I wouldn’t sign the ‘Stop the Buffy The Vampire Slayer reboot’ petition. I knew said erstwhile friend was a bit of an oddball, I had no idea she was such a fucking twat.
permalink And another barrage of abuse, a few minutes ago:-
Cyclist - Get out of the fucking way you stupid fucker! What is it with pedestrians, why do they never look where they're fucking going?

Me - You're on the pavement, cunt.
permalink As a mostly-pedestrian, driver every fortnight, occasional cyclist...
I hate all users of road and pavement.

Adults cycling on busy pavements are a particular annoyance though... together with drivers who don’t think that the various basic provisions of the Highway Code apply to them personally.

A lot of pedestrians are stupid cunts as well, of course.

Fucking people. Load of shits.
permalink This.
Very much this.
permalink My desk overlooks Old Street Roundabout,
and I see cuntish mishaps every day. Today, it was the jerk in the Merc, who tried to cut in front of a bus, but ended up scraping his own back left wing off the front of the bus. Yes, there was laughter.
permalink Hateful thing, that roundabout.
Last week's cyclist v cement mixer incident freaked me out a bit.
permalink Yeah,
one of our lot saw it happen. I had been looking out the window moments before.
permalink There's a scheme for Old Street rbt
That was pretty much funded and approved... Got "paused" by Khan/Will "useless" Norman in May 2016. Mainly because it was a Johnson/Gilligan scheme (still seems weird that the actually good cycleways in London were put in place by Andrew fucking Gilligan.)
permalink Paths make up the majority of official bike lanes here
It's a pain in the arse, because you officially are supposed to get off and walk your bike across every crossing. Unofficially you do anyway, unless you are on a mountain bike that can take the hammering of jumping on/off kerbs or down/up stupidly steep ramps.
In some places it's just easier to ride on the road so you don't waste so much energy getting up to speed all the time.
It's over 30C almost every day here, so its not like anyone really uses the paths to walk on anyway.
permalink Given that the Buffy series was a reboot of the film
The whole thing is a bit odd
permalink isn't it supposed to be a sequel?
I almost got knocked off my bike by a bin lorry this morning. I assume it was a hit squad now I've just got new life insurance.
permalink Amazing.


Still, nice to have priorities eh.
permalink she did you a favour
permalink French
permalink Is it you that has / used to have
the discount codes for hotels?
Do you still have the upload codes?
permalink I have some codez
That are usable on IHG.com properties.

But it's only about 15% and means you can't cancel the booking or earn points so it's not a great deal... Do you have an email or something ?
permalink Sorry I thought I had replied to this
but must have pressed never mind instead of submit.
I had a look online, and they didn't have anything near where we want to stay. So thanks anyway.
permalink a company I have been speaking to at work have just suggested an actual physical meeting
I don't know if the worst part is I'd have to actually meet them in person, it's in San Franscisco, or it's in San Franscisco so I might end up sat next to Manley on the plane.
permalink Definitely the latter
This is a lovely part of the world, and much better to visit when someone else is paying
permalink it does look nice
but it would very much be fly in, speak to people in a hotel, go to a meeting all day, fly home. I'd have to reinstate facebook to show off.

Also, I've given away my only possible 'guess the airport' for years.
permalink Nah
They might fly you into San Jose or Oakland
permalink Check the travel policy
Buisness class to SF would be a decent amount of air miles
permalink that's true
I doubt I'll end up going, but I would like to fly business class at least once.
permalink our fridge died yesterday
and it seems - to skip over several insane pieces of bureaucracy - I'm not allowed to buy a new one because I have a joint mortgage.
permalink Umm. That sounds fun


permalink the best bit is where my bank requires
me and the missus to go into the branch (together, not separately) with ID and recent utility bills to prove to them that we live in the flat that we bought with a feckin mortgage from them

and I'm still struggling to understand what form of fraud involves buying fridges for other people
permalink Dear Mr Meep
I am a Nigerian Prince with a million fridges I need t get out of the country. If you transfer money to me, I will send fridges and you will be a very rich man with my eternal gratitude and a shitload of fridges.
permalink this morning I thought of you
as I ambled home from the parkrun via Queen Margaret Drive with a Guardian and a bag of coffee beans from under my arm

/West End 4 Life
permalink I thought of him yesterday when we were in a bar where the owner was going around swapping
Halogen lamps for cheap bright blue LED ones
permalink I don't understand halogen bulbs
it's like someone took the basic concept of lightbulbs and then decided it'd be better if they had an average lifetime of a week, coupled with fittings that are almost impossible not to destroy when you try and replace the fuckers

I've got 4 such in the kitchen, I've literally gone through about 9 bulbs since we moved in at New Year, 3 are currently out cos I just can't be arsed any more

(although to pre-empt CI I'm guessing that the problem is probably dirt cheap transformers)
permalink GU9 is a horrible connection
GU10 is better but they are mains voltage so come with their own issues.
thread So i've been hankering after a bit of rain for a while
but perhaps the evening i'm going to spend on a rooftop bar in paris was not the exact time i was hoping for

/humblebrag

#hope it stops.

# at least it'll be less fucking insanely hot tomorrow while i'm doing a 50kmm ride.

permalink tomorrow I'm going to a soft play party and I'm unblocking the drains
I think I'd rather be doing what you're doing.
permalink The beer waa a little warm.
If that helps.
permalink a bit
Soft play is predictably awful
permalink luckily it's far too windy to go up a ladder and do the gutters
so I went for a bike ride
permalink So did i
Sacre ceure , longchamp, champs d'elysees (sp?) And the arc De triomphe.

Fun and very bumpy.
permalink nice
I went to Toft
permalink apparently
it'll be a bit cooler for the RideLondon 100 on Sunday
permalink Encountered Mark Cavendish
In the car park of the Double Tree near Excel
permalink And
Quick hand job in the bushes?
permalink In the
Anonymous rental van the team were using

Women up this morning feeling pukey so that's put an end to today's fun
permalink It's just started pissing it down in Wigan
I'm off on a stag do today. we're doing crystal maze followed by food followed by me slipping away when they move on to a pub.
permalink Crystal Maze Experience was AWESOME
I did two games, I got two crystals.

Edit: Ages ago virgin media insisted on giving me a V6 TIVO box. I stuck it in the shed because I didn't actually want it and they'd have charged me more to have just internet.

I decided it'd be useful in our bedroom so bought a cable cable and have just come to set it up when it tells me it needs activating. I call the number, enter my account number, enter my area code, go through an options menu, enter my password THEN it tells me they're closed. Bastards.
permalink I got fucking drenched getting home from work yesterday
wearing a short-sleeved white shirt.

It was not a good look.
permalink We're going to see The Pet Shop Boys tonight.
In The Royal Opera House, no less. Never been in there before.

I'm hoping they do this:- https://www.youtube.co...
permalink Just seen a photo of "Christians at Pride"
at Liverpool Pride this weekend. Someone's holding a banner that says "This is a gay that the Lord has made".
permalink I had to Google it
But yes well done