thread Well, a quiet evening on Friday...
Doing this show was quite fun.

permalink looks fun
why does the bridge have a bridge beside it.
permalink The low bridge is a temporary structure for the construction of the big one.
They'll start removing it soon... which will apparently take a year.
thread What is it like Up North in London?
It is dark here. Like night-time dark.
permalink Sunny
Have you tried typing 'open eyes'?
permalink Wait.
permalink No, that did not help.
Any other suggestions?
permalink It's definitely daylight here.
Have you checked for other signs of the apocalypse?
permalink I went and looked at the sea.
It was fairly rough, but not the worst I have seen.

It was dark though.

It is actually making me legitimately uncomfortable.
permalink So, according to the interwebs,
apparently it is a Saharan dust plume, dragged over by the hurricane, but to me it just looks like DOOM!
permalink locusts
permalink yup
looks like the end days here too
permalink Has Chalton Heston
Put his vest on?
permalink The bad weather and storms appear to have slipped past us
I'm assuming that they are all directly above the Manley residence
permalink it's a beautiful day in Cambridge
Are you under the hurricane?
permalink It is a fair way West of here.
clearly it is fucking with the clouds though.
permalink Are they full of locusts?
Or frogs?
permalink It isn't a
Hurricane any more
permalink You can classify it that way all you want, but Cork is reporting 75mph gusts,
which is over 64 knots, which makes it force 12 in my book.
permalink 75mph gusts in Cork?
Flan had a curry again then?
permalink joke about "cork man drowns"
/rich hall
permalink Today's shipping forecast includes the sea state "occasionally phenomenal" in a few areas,
which is quite a term.
permalink I should have put that on my business card
permalink Fuck me
I'd have thought you of all people would absolutely be all over the distinction between
"A storm with Force 12 gusts or even Force 12 sustained"


"A hurricane"

The storm does not have the structure of a hurricane any more
permalink It does have the structure of a hurricane,
but a hurricane is just any storm with winds over force 11.
permalink No it isn't
Anyway, Sustained F12
permalink You are wrong g
The meteorologists that are calling it an ex-hurricane are right
permalink this "not being on a boat near greece" thing has
put you in a bit of a grump hasn't it
permalink Fucking hell it has
permalink He is also wrong.
A hurricane is any cyclone system with winds which are 64 knots or higher, sustained for 1 minute, with or without an eye.

There are currently 118kmp winds in the St George channel.
permalink Why are you defining this differently to
The professional meteorologists?
permalink The definition of a hurricane is any storm system with windspeeds over 63 knots
sustained for over a minute.

It stopped being a hurricane this morning and then picked back up again.

Since you are being a nob about it, I checked with the met office and that is their definition too: https://www.metoffice....
permalink The met office is also clear about the fact that it's not a hurricane
as it has "lost its tropical characteristics"


edit: sounds like it needs to have a warm core, with thunderstorms at the centre, and that Ophelia lost the warmth in its core as it moved into the cooler european waters.
permalink it's taken off its Bermuda shorts
and is no longer drinking Red Stripe.
permalink They predicted it would lose its tropical characteristic and stop being a hurricane
but the reality is that we are seeking F12 winds out there, sustained for over a minute.
permalink Those don't seem to be the sole
technical characteristics of a hurricane.
permalink We have multiple names for the same type of storm.
But the technical characteristics seem to be just that - F12 sustained for over a minute.
permalink Happy to see something other than 'Experts are saying ex-hurricane'
because I argue to learn, not to win.

Which is probably just as well.
"What is a hurricane?
A hurricane is an area of low pressure over tropical or sub-tropical waters, with organised convection (i.e. thunderstorm activity) and winds at low levels of at least 74 m.p.h. "

By the time ex-ophelia had reached the British Isles it had lost the "organised convection", that's why it wasn't a hurricane any more
permalink and it matters
because that "organised convection" means torrential rain, large hail and lightning, all of which bring their own destructiveness to the party. Because it had lost that, ex-Ophelia merely had roof-ripping wind and some heavy rain. Still fatally dangerous, but the response required is different, which is why this matters.
permalink I mean that's why hurricanes
(and also tornadoes) get classified into different bands
permalink Remember you're arguing with someone
who is staunchly prescriptivist 3 days a week, and in favour of linguistic fluidity just as often
permalink Without wanting to point out the obvious,
in order to be greater than force 11 you need to be F12.

That is how numbers work.
permalink *presses F12*
nothing happened, liar.
permalink Buy a Mac
then things get louder.
permalink it's bloody lovely today, really warm
.. supposed to be 22deg later
permalink I'm no longer
On a boat though
permalink Indeed, 21
on the flatlands and would normally result in a beer garden over lunch but I have to go to a sewage treatment works instead. Woo.
permalink cutting out the middle man?
permalink It has finally arrived in London
The sun was very orange a couple of hours ago, but now it is proper dark and grey and orange and weird.
permalink Well that's
also weird.
permalink and here comes the near dark...
permalink I ran outside with meters.
If anyone cares/understands, it got down to 150 lux out there, and colour temperature was down at 2750K. Super-weird for daylight.

It's filtering out almost all the blue and UV, transmitting shitloads of red.

permalink Good graphing,
get that shit on social media.
permalink Arguable poor choice of adjective, but
permalink 10/10,
would retweet.
permalink oh i checked here to see if you had did such a thing
it was quite wonderful.. pink sun never seen that before
permalink It is well orange
here now.,
permalink The morning's End-of-Days orange haze
has now changed to glorious sunshine here in Yorkshire.
permalink It is also cracking flags in Measham
permalink Is that the place they brew
Old peculiar?
permalink No,
that's Masham (pronounced Massam)
permalink It was very orange for most of the day,
but has now gone back to normal. It's getting fence-breakingly windy now.
thread Homeward
Bag drop run like "traditional" check in. But then you can wander back out the airport to a Taverna with seats on decking or under the trees for a beer and a spinach pie before heading to security. Pity the beer is Mythos though
permalink This I guess
Will be the final day of the Monarch repatriation flights? Load of people in the departure hall wearing hi Vis vests with "British Government Official" and a union flag on the back, and one wearing a shirt with "British Consular staff" on it
permalink Apparently
The UK had a bill for £25million last year putting planes in place for an expected Monarch collapse then. So this year was simply a repeat but fully activating the whole plan
permalink insert joke about bringing down the monarch here

permalink I'm in Britain now
Not entirely pleased by this
permalink Paging CI
DM on Twitter wondering how Monday night get together plans are going
permalink ARGH!
You don't mean tomorrow do you. Please say you mean a week tomorrow.
permalink I mean a week tomorrow,... or today now.
we are on for the 23rd
permalink Phew!
*heads for the holiday booking page*
permalink ok good
just remind us closer to the thing
thread sorry cheesemesiter and happy new year
does anyone have a code for ZIPCAR free/cheap whatever

a friend needs help moving an art work and i'm useless

better still if you have a van in sarf london
this afternoon and want to meet a great artwork
and a lovely woman then let me know.. fb i guess £60 innit
permalink have you tried a man and van service?
i don't think you can sign up for zipvan on the day.... maybe drivenow does but they dont have vans.

permalink i think that's their best option
though i'm pretty sure i used a car the same day i signed for zipcar but then it was free

i can't drive them becos i know i'm still pissed from last night

permalink still!?
permalink Good effort!
permalink Hertz do hourly van rental through B&Q.
Go to and follow the links.
permalink I have a story about this
but I cannot really tell it here.
permalink Yes, I can share a Zipcar referral, it gets you £25 credit:

I think you can drive same day, as long as they can retrieve driving licence details from the DVLA...
permalink modern whatjamacallits
i joined abotu 10 years ago so it needed forms signing
permalink Indeed,
permalink cheers for that
we worked something out involving an electric milk float and a horse :)
permalink Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
permalink I don't like that joke.
It suggests bells are a suitable replacement for horns. They are not.

permalink I am mildly offended
by this.
permalink they are clearly interchangable on bicycles
and on clowns.

permalink I'm going to get a proper honking clown horn
for my bike.
permalink Exactly
what was Jammers thinking?
permalink Fog bell? Ridiculous.
Door horn? Don't be daft.
permalink Good lord!
I totally want a door horn now...
permalink So I'm no old enough to get birthday cards that joke about my age
and I've seen two photos of me from this week where I'm looking distinctly bald.

I don't feel bald, but I clearly am.
permalink Same.
It upsets me a lot.
permalink I don't mind the hair loss
but not recognizing myself because I don't really feel it is rubbish.
permalink According to the guardian Hunt is considering
banning walk-in patients from A&E. https://www.theguardia...

I can't see how that could have any negative impact on the ambulance service at all.
permalink he's a fucking idiot
last time I went it was because I sliced my finger open, that's not an ambulance thing. Before that when the child smashed her face in, nor is that. Both needed seeing to, both were accidents, both would have been a massive waste of paramedic ambulance response resources and someone who needed one could have died. Just give them enough money. What a cunt.

sorry, Strictly angries up my blood.
permalink Fifty percent certain
That this is a heist and you want a getaway driver
permalink 25% thqt
It's a honeytrap and that you're working deep cover for the popo
permalink 75%
you got me..
thread Happy birthday young Jammers
you MFC.

What is everyone up to this fine Friday?
permalink Thank you.
I've been God bothering this week - had a two-day conference that ended at 4pm yesterday, then headed to youthwork thing in Wigan last night. It was all really good.

I've heard a rumour that our local junk food charity (intercepts food headed for landfill and feeds the poor with it, and has a 'pay as you wish' cafe) has some chicken from a high street chicken place. So we're off there for lunch.
permalink Huzzah!
I often eat in our local church - they do cheap meals for the homeless types and I feel like it is valuable to go and mix the audience up a bit - a few of my friends do the same and it changes it from a soup kitchen to a pleasant luncheon venue (and they charge next to nothing for food and a small fortune for tea, so we subsidise the meals with our tea habit).
permalink I accidentally stole a homeless man's lunch.
My wife and I ordered a sausage and mash each, they brought them out and then about 15 minutes later came out with another two sausage and mash and gave them to the couple who had been there before us.

I did go and apologise, but they said it was their (the staff's) fault as they sent it out for 'The long haired gentleman'.

I bought some church organ pipes to make up for it.
permalink *pppaaaarp"
permalink We pay £10 each for eating at Fur Clempt
because it subsidises those who can't afford it. We always see people we know and the food us usually excellent.

I had pasta with meatballs, thrice-cooked chips and a croissant.
permalink fur clempt?


also happy b3taday youngster!
permalink Thank you.
It's Wigan speak for "very hungry".
permalink Indeed
Jammy felicitations and all that

I shall be meeting some people I don't really know to talk about a paper and then driving to Naarch to see Jiva and Jeffna. And the cats too!
permalink Nice.
I do not suppose you are in Dawlish at all then?
permalink Afraid not
Didn't get SW this time
permalink Then I feel honour bound to call you a
permalink Right back
Atcha sunshine
permalink Mwah!
permalink meep is such a lazy cunt
i pressed the fel.. nothing happened?!
permalink I am working for a change, i'm juggling my days for tuesday.
I just got my business cards from it's almost like this is actually happening..

permalink I'm running a minimum of 3 data conversions.
permalink Happy birthday Jammers indeed
I have just got off an overnight flight from Bangkok where I'd been for 36 hours. Prior to that I was in Vietnam for 4 days and Cambodia for 8 days doing worky things. As is entirely predictable, I have put the washing machine on and made coffee, once the machine is finished, I will have a shower and then go out to buy some food.
permalink I thought sleep
would be pretty high on your list.

This time in 2 weeks we'll be on a flight to Rome. I'm very much looking forward to not being in work.
permalink I would like sleep but that would mess up my body clock even more I reckon.
And anyway, I have now been advised that I should go and get my ankle x-rayed (see FB for Falling Off a Pavement in Hanoi™ shenanigans) so I shall be spending the rest of the day in A&E at the Royal London no doubt. I should never have asked my father's opinion - I expected him to say no don't bother (he's a medical type) but no, he reckons I need an x-ray as I've fractured that ankle before. Gah.

Ooh have a lovely time in Rome. I'd love to go one day.
permalink Bugger
that will be vastly boring.
permalink Yes it will.
permalink goodluck with the a&e
just looks like a flesh wound to me.. neep!
permalink The knee definitely is fine; the grazes scabbing over nicely, not infected
as I liberally splashed iodine all over it. It's my ankle that needs looking at - I fractured it before and fell over this time because it gave way again.
permalink Hola! Welcome back!
I assume a fab time was had, apart from the falling off pavement thing.
permalink Hola! Thanks!
Yes, generally fab time was had indeed, in spite of ankle giving up on me without warning. It feels like I've been away aaaages.
permalink We were sailing
But then the wind died, so we're happily motoring across the Ionian
permalink I have been following your exploits
on that there facebook.
permalink Resigning
New job offered me MORE money than I asked for. Woo-hoo!
permalink Huzzah!
Get in there.
permalink nice one
now just ask for a private toilet.. germans + toilets = arrrrggggghhh!
permalink Is everyone here changing jobs
or just the important people?
permalink woop!

good effort sah.
permalink I like this.
permalink I'm off up to Merseyside shortly.
The Mersey Gateway bridge opens tonight and I've got a lightshow to run in sync with music and fireworks.

Fun. I haven't done a "gig" for ages.
permalink turns out one of my
cardiacs-based pond mates works right next to that bridge, 'tis a small world sometimes.
permalink I also did this,

permalink All in all,
a busy morning.
permalink i have been working as well as pouring shampoo into a bottle.
permalink Official.
Wrong job though.
permalink saw your instagram account
are you settiing up a rival company called 7215???
permalink Doubtful.
I tried to find Phil's kitten account but I have no idea how to find it.
permalink (I didn't realise Instagram was web as well,
I thought it was app only).
permalink Now I know that you live opposit the
BCA campus.
permalink yep
you can see it from my front window.

I wish they'd close the window in the afternoons, the music is a bit yoof for my liking.

permalink Do you still have those prison bars
on your door?
permalink nope, all gone.
they had welded the bolt heads to the frame which was a real bugger and it wasn't like someone was about to spend a couple of hours unbolting them and moving a massive security gate.. when there was a perfectly good window to smash right next to it.

i meean even if they'd have welded 2 of the bolts, they did every single one

/took fucking ages.
permalink You say that
but you'd be surprised how much effort people will put into getting through a door, even in a stud wall.

I did a lot of what used to be called FIBUA, but is now OBUA and when it comes to car scenarios, something I learned really early on in NI is that people approaching the vehicle are looking for you sticking an arm out of it - even seasoned PIR gunmen would saunter up, as if the windscreen were a solid wall and only to window would be a threat.

A double-tap through the windscreen worked around 90% of the time. Obviously not for the poor kids at that funeral, but still, very effective.

My first week in NI a guy was stopped on his way to work by an impromptu roadblock, with 2 PIRA operatives on the ground an a gimpey on the hill on either side. He shot them through the windscreen, dropped a WP and fucked off, tyres spinning.

He got about 1/4 mile down the road and the adrenaline was coursing, so he turned back and, by the time he got there the two gimpey gunners had come down to check on their fallen comrades and he had them too.

Turned up at the barracks, showed his pass and casually mentioned that we might want to go down and take a look.

Of course, the riot that followed that was the one where my boots caught fire.
permalink *sienfeld slap bass*

permalink *freeze frame, record scratching noise*
Hi, I'm Manley, and you might be wondering why I'm in a riot with my boots on fire

permalink Wp?
permalink Wet penis.
permalink White phosphorous
A sort of instant smoke grenade.
permalink What I find annoying about that
is that they've put a sign up in their carpark detailing their name, the principal's name, their phone number, and their address.

If you didn't know their address, you wouldn't be fucking looking at that sign.
permalink It's so that if you turn up and find out they're closed,
you can contact them by post, using their full postal address.

Because that's what everyone does, right?
permalink Also
They put http://www.
permalink That is not apparent on Google maps.
permalink They only did it a couple of months ago
permalink Doing my best not to punch engineers.
Later, drinking my own weight in ale.
permalink Indeed yay for the Jamski and his increasing agedness!

I have just finished demo-ing a new thing to all the top/medium high brass, so will be loafing this afternoon, having been building up to this for the last couple of months.

Tomorrow, wedding to go to.
permalink I have been working like the proverbial MFC
trying to sort idiots out. Then I'm going home.
permalink I am (still) considering my
seemingly insurmountable to do list, and every time I get stuck into something the support line rings.
permalink speaking of to do lists
i'm rather liking the "google keep"
permalink *procrastinates*
permalink I'm on a day's holiday
which I wrestled from the bounds of impossibility by working until 8 last night. Fucksake.

Still, procrastination is my middle name so do I spend the next 2 hours in a monkeybath with a beer or do I weed the front gravel. Hm.