thread Hash Brown - the new MFC?
permalink It's funnier
when it happens to someone else.

He'd only been there four days.
permalink i want to know what their real name was
it does seem a bit hash

erm harsh
permalink Mrs Witchy works there
but hasn't mentioned it. I'll ask her.
permalink well then
we have a new favourite cycling team
permalink 48, years old

permalink epo and monkey glands
very good for maintaining a youthful outlook
permalink Mmmm
spicy monkey glands!
permalink it's not natural
literally, in this case
permalink Due to inability to tell you about it on their webnanny,
you'll be unaware that my previous employer/least invoiced client sponsored a half decent cycling team:
They used to take the fitter land directors and some consultants out for a ride/heart attack every autumn after the season ended.
permalink I had noticed that and meant to ask about that

permalink Our parent company's
UK distributor of things that carry the parent company's branding (so not our products) in the UK is headed up by a cycling but who seems to spend basically all his marketing budget on sponsoring races, teams (this year two one men's and two women's) and individual riders.

Sadly we have nothing to do with any of that.
permalink Our MD was a cycling nut also, and there are several in his management tree
However, he was fired by his dad earlier this year, that management tree is being extensively pruned, and I don't expect they'll be doing the sponsorship deal again.
permalink hah
announced this morning that their new sponsor is Soreen, Replaced by Malt Loaf.
permalink Replaced by Malt Loaf
was a decent album, let down by they poor lyrics though.
thread I take it we've all seen the butt-sunning nonsense?
Anyone want to join me in starting an anal sun salon in Shoreditch? I reckon we could clear up in 6 months then do a runner.
permalink the what now?
I must go back in Twitter
permalink This is afairly good summary of where we are now...
permalink can't imagine what the neighbours will say
if I start doing that
permalink A couple of decades ago
me and some mates came up with a concept production company called BURNT RING PRODUCTIONS, largely because of our love of spicy food. We could resurrect that and bring it into the twenties.
permalink Can I just say that I am exceedingly freaked out by the fact
that in less than five weeks, we will be in the 2020s?

Fuck's sake!
permalink and me & Mrs Witchy will still
think the mid-90s was only 10 years ago.
permalink Well to be fair, they were!
It most certainly can't be 20 years since I finished my Ph.D.

Screw you time!
permalink next year will be 25 years
since I graduated university.

I almost had heart failure when I worked it out as 35. So that's how long it takes to forget basic maths apparently.
permalink Last my group of uni mates went on hols to celebrate our 40th's.
We were shocked to realise one progeny was 10 already.

I only realised the other day that when we turn 50, he'll turn TWENTY.

Fuck that.
permalink *shuffles past, smelling of wee*
permalink Aha, y'ould codger ya!
permalink Hahahaha :)
permalink I danced for hours last night
at an XR fancy dress 90s rave party. My knees are absolutely fucked today.
permalink is it going to be quicker riches
than selling boxes of dirt to audiophiles
permalink one of my friends
was on the university picket line that Billy Bragg joined today
permalink He loves a good picket, Billy does.
permalink Wilson?
permalink apparently he was back in Cambridge today
joining the kids, mainly.
permalink Maybe I should try it
I'm feeling poorly. I'm in work though because I was told that taking a sick day during my probationary period would result in the company dropping me.

Thankfully it's not busy and I intend going home and sleeping when my shift is finished.
permalink a) that's ridiculous
and b) still, it's nice to spread it around
permalink Surely that has to break all sorts of employment laws?
That is massively fucked up. Or has the UK become even more wold west Murican since I left?
permalink nothing new, 20 years ago I was hauled into a disciplinary review
for taking a sick day during my probation at BT

only difference between then and now is that you don't get to lodge a claim of unfair dismissal until you've been employed for 2 years, it used to be 1.
permalink That's shocking
So for two years, they have carte blanche to do whatever the fuck they like? That ain't right! Some things certainly are better here in NZ
permalink well they do have to go through a full disciplinary procedure
so you can't really fire someone for a sick day, but the reality is that most people in such jobs are either on zero hours or agency contracts, so it's not being sacked, it's just not being given hours. And a tribunal isn't going to even look at your case as a short-timer, unless actual discrimination is involved.
permalink You seem to know a suspicious amount
about this.
permalink nope
in the first two years you can just be handed your notice without reason, no disciplinary required. Which is why employees of less than two years don't get statutory redundancy in the case of job losses.

However if you have evidence that the underlying reason is discrimination you can take them to tribunal.
permalink If it's in your probation period
they can basically dump you for pretty much any reason with little come back.*

(* though if you can prove discrimination all bets are off)
permalink Probation period is standard and legal.
Also, some staff started today without 12h off shift since yesterday and we were told that we may have to take our breaks in two 15 minute chunks.
permalink A couple of us had to do the less-than-12h thing last year
and were given an extra day Annual Leave in compensation.
permalink Is that a thing now?
I wonder if it includes travel? If so my boss owes me a ton of time off....

Oh hang on, he knows exactly how much time I spend arsing about on the internet..
permalink I don't think it's an official thing.
But my place is pretty good about that sort of stuff. They also gave us taxi expenses, because we didn't leave the office till 1am.
permalink We've discussed this before
Your boss is a lunatic, I wouldn't dare broach the subject with him!
permalink Mine's a total cunt too
The fucker doesn't even seem to pay me, from what I can tell
permalink Man, what a cunt
Sorry mate!
thread I am 40!
But I don't feel a day over 39¾

time for booxes (all of them)
permalink happy birthday
try not to pass out from teh booooxxxxee by 9pm this one last time
permalink I made the mistake of starting out with good intentions
by going to the parkrun

now 3 spritzes in and I think I need a nap, just as people are about to arrive for board games and dinner out
permalink well its better than the alternative
I feel abut 75 today due to booxe and late nights.

i am also a fecking idiot, we went to currys to buy the new tv, looked at the right one and picked up the box underneath it with the picture of the same tv on the front of it... paid for it, sat in traffic and then realised we'd bought the 43" version not the 40" version..

which is bloody typical and there is no way i'm taking it back today....
permalink Meh,
what's 3 inches amongst friends.
permalink That's what she said
permalink It annoys me when boxes are in the wrong place.
You've got to 14 Jan to take it back for a refund
permalink The fact we didn't notice that we paid 70quid more
Than we should have expected shows the level our brains were operating at

permalink so what you're saying is
you nearly got away with it but Amy finally sussed you out?
permalink I wish I could claim it was premeditated, I was just hungover.
If we had agreed to get a 43" there was a better one than this one as well
permalink Be careful about that
Now you're old you'll get hangovers.
permalink ow
permalink I am quite badly overhung today.
A trip to the sauna/steamroom/jacuzzi is called for.

We stopped drinking stupid cocktails at 2am, but I thought it would be a good idea to neck several shot of saké before pouring myself into bed.
permalink sadly I now have to get a subway, bus, flight and train
to be in Kaiserslautern for a meeting tomorrow

I suspect there may be a lot of napping en route
permalink Happy milestone!

Make it last a month like I did.
permalink happy birthday there
permalink Happy birthday
I had mine last month. It's all comfortable slippers and early nights now.

Edit I really like that tesla
permalink I'll bite
what are you smoking?
permalink it's very 'early-90s-Atari-ST-driving-game'
permalink Automotive brutalism ftw
permalink A certain amount of people will buy it
just to meme in the streets.

But on the grand scale, I fear ugly doesn't sell.
permalink fiat multipla
permalink I liked that one,
but I don't think it sold as well as it could have.
permalink Hippo barfday innit
permalink Happy Birthday
permalink I'm 50 a week on Friday...
How the fuck did that happen?
permalink you let your guard down
that's how they get you, the years
permalink Pah,
youngster :)
permalink linear time's a bitch
permalink I've just been too busy recently to get a Tardis sorted out.
permalink Excuses,
thread Having spent tghe morning in the depths of the V&A museum back of house...
I am now off to Westminster Abbey again to skulk about the triforium with my laptop.

My job is quite weird some days.
permalink If you should happen to see
a grumpy bearded Northerner leering at scaffolders, that's my mate Kev.
permalink at the Abbey? I guess around St Margaret's...
I'll be inside not outside, but obviously I'll give him a wave or a mild obscene gesture.

I thought scaffolders were supposed to do the leering?
permalink He's redressing the balance.
Or being a dirty old man.

Apparently, he's just left the Abbey and is heading back to his office. Do you ever come into contact with Conisbee? That's his lot.
permalink Not recently
We've ended up on the same projects occasionally. But we don't often have close dealings with the structural/civil guys...
permalink not until those light bulbs get REALLY heavy
permalink we've got a new printer at work
it comes up on the list as "Cambridge MFC"
permalink MFC is the technical term for what ikea mostly makes it's furniture out of
Melamine faced chipboard.

It features regularly in conversations at work.
permalink I bought a printer
I proclaims itself as a DesignJet MFP, so I call it the mother fucking printer
permalink What else?
Entirely reasonable
thread It's all getting a bit Smethwick 1964, isn't it?

Edit: I spent most of summer absent from social media. I think I might extend it til after the election or I'm just going to spend my time arguing with idiots.
permalink Obviously not good
But I'm also glad it's not getting Smithwicks 1710
permalink I used to drink that all the time.
Never liked Guinness, and Harp can fuck off.

Thank fuck there's a proper selection of beers in Ireland these days. It was literally the Big Three when I was a kid, with Murphy or Beamish instead of Guinness if you were in Cork.
permalink Oh aye, same here
But I could never stand Smithwicks. Always tasted like a bitter with half a bag of sugar chucked in. Until I developed a taste for Guinness, I used to drink lager
permalink I doubt if I'd like Smithwicks these days,
now that I've drunk deep of proper craft ales and lagers in the UK.

But it was the best of a bad lot back in the day. Even then though, beer was fuckloads better in the UK than Ireland; at least there was stuff like Newky Brown, London Pride and Timothy Taylor Best Landlord
permalink Beer was always better in the UK
due to the continued existence of real ale. CAMRA don't get the thanks they deserve. Beer drinking started properly once I made to Blighty in 95
permalink This.
Very, very much this.
permalink Indeed (and both Amy and I are paid up members)
However I disapprove of their recent decision to exclude any sort of craft beer in their remit.

I mean they have cider.
permalink In all fairness
craft ale doesn't need any help at the moment (at least if London is anything to go by).
permalink isn't it that they get really shitty about keg rather than cask
or vice versa?
permalink yep pretty much
permalink I'm on the other side
they were set up to protect the existence of cask ale against the desires of the big breweries in moving to types of beer with better profit margins/lower spoilage

after a brief resurgence cask ale is again in decline, whereas keg is on the ascendancy and bring pushed by big breweries in preference to cask because it's easier to keep

so in terms of CAMRA being a lobbying group to keep alive traditional british beer types that would otherwise go extinct due to commercial pressures, I think it's good that they are maintaining that focus - keg doesn't really need that support

similarly they protect 'real' cider/perry against the economics of big breweries wanting artificially carbonated ciders that last longer

so even as a lover of both cask and keg, I think that cask needs supporting against keg, as otherwise we'll only have keg - it's not that keg isn't 'real' ale
permalink i agree, but there is a bit of a crisis
of 'fake' craft beer, where the big guys are putting out middling quality IPAs and calling it craft beer and buying up smaller breweries to consolidate them etc.... this is a different fight but one they should be helping with. SIBA are trying but if camra were willing and able to help smaler breweries "Camra certified craft beer" or whatever it could help a lot.
permalink Entirely agreed
They pretty much saved decent beer in this country back in the 70s and 80s, but they need to move on a bit...
permalink the Cambridge branch being highly rebellious
had a keg bar at the summer beer festival.
permalink splitters!
permalink Those goddamned
crazy muthafuckers!
permalink I liked their first album
but after that it went a bit too prog rock.
permalink I can imagine that as a subtitle at the start of a Monty Python sketch
One of the real benefits of working by the sewage works is never knowing if it's you that smells of pop, or whether it's the general background ambience.
permalink I've been to Tesco, outside definitely smells of poo
I can't rule out that I do too of course, but it's a start
permalink Next time I'm in said
works changing a disk or summat I'll be sure to wave in your general direction :)
permalink I'll keep an eye out
permalink I've undoubtedly told this story before, but
around 2001 I was temping and got sent to the freeman hospital in Newcastle to do audio typing. Another temp started at the same time who was in her 60s.

One of us smelled. Not in an up front way, but a bad smell lingered in our office and indeed, the whole corridor. It got to the point where I was showing several times a day because its become paranoid that it was me.

After about a month I was told that they'd figured out it wasn't me, and because nobody quite had the balls to tell the other temp that she was too smelt they just told the agency that they didn't need her any more.
permalink I remember when I was living
in Cambridge in the 90s, an engineer called Mike who absolutely stunk. I remember the Monday he got some Tippex on his arm, and it stayed there all week and was gone the following Monday, suggesting that he basically washed once a week, at the weekend. The office manager did tell him about his smell though, and he'd get better for a while, then would slip back into being smelly again until she told him off again.
permalink Amazingly,
we had Tories on our doorstep last night. Only for long enough for me to tell them to fuck right off, but in a Labour safe seat what can they expect?
permalink I find this attempt at humorous satire successful

permalink The whole thing is as bleak as fuck, frankly.
I wish I could manage to not engage with it, but it's hard work.

Also hard work is this week, where I've agreed to do two new jobs for two new clients by Monday, which is (in any conventional assessment of the situation) impossible. Can't exactly turn away work in your first month, can you?

However, I've already invoiced more than I'd predicted was my realistic maximum turnover for November, and these two jobs will double that so there's always that.
permalink Sounds fun.
I think you'll find asking a few key questions will delay the deadline somewhat.

If you need someone to wield a pen on Monday morning give me a shout.

But do remember it is better to turn away work than take it and fuck it up
permalink Thanks for this offer, which I was too busy to see until 11 days later...
Both went fine.

The one that was the straw that looked set to break my back went particularly well, and the client will phone me again, at which point I can refuse work. I am pretty sure if I'd turned the first offer away, that would have been the only offer they made!

The only significant issue arising is the near total loss of two weekends, and an extremely painful back from two weekends of drawing board hunching...
permalink today I drove to Reading
for tomorrow there is a wedding

only the 3rd time I've driven all the way south, the M4 at 5pm on a wet Friday is that kind of special experience us in the provinces miss out on
permalink Ah yes, things I don't miss about living in Reading*
trying to get out on the M4 on a Friday evening. Especially heading west

*apart from almost everything
permalink I'm ditching virgin media.
As much as I like 200+mbps internet I don't really need it, and my bill has gone from £45 to £61 this year for no apparent reason. I don't really want to be with a company who will charge me more unless I complain about it, so I'm switching to vodafone 63mbps adsl.

I've also spotted that VM didn't actually cancel a postpay mobile when I called to cancel it in May, which I'm a tad annoyed about.

Edit: of I had decent 4g at home I could just use my unlimited data sim for £7.20 a month
permalink We are about to ditch their TV part
But will keep the broadband in the first instance... Waiting for someone else to provide fibre around our way
permalink We went from Virgin to Sky to BT,
who turn out to give an excellent service, and aren't expensive.

Virgin went down for nearly two months, and when we refused to pay our bill because of that, they threatened to send in the bailiffs. So we had to pay, and then it took 5 months to claw it back when we left them. Sky started well, but the service dropped to a max of 14mbps, and often no more than 3 or 4. BT do 80-100, and are rock solid.
permalink Where I am
Vodafone via CityFibre is supposed to be available "soon"
permalink They'll offer you to do TV with for cheaper than without
permalink Scotsmen:
What's sleekit, in the context of a person? Al doesn't really use it.
permalink Ingratiating? Devious? Untrustworthy? Insincere?
All that sort of territory.
permalink Gotcha
permalink Ah!
Enjoy... which one?
permalink The Way Of All Flesh,
one of the Ambrose Parry ones.