thread What a 24 hours.
If any of you lot are planning on having a marriage breakdown please leave me out of it for at least this weekend, I'm utterly fucking frazzled and jumpy every time my phone rings.

Note, it's not me, obvs. A couple of local mates are in meltdown as is an ex-cow-orker, it's him that's making me jumpy because he won't leave me alone. Unfortunately his car is parked outside my house.

*turns phone off*
permalink probably on Sunday
paddleboarding from Waterbeach to Ely. Arriving late afternoon. Train home. Pub?
permalink Good idea.
My team leader (and fellow saver of said ex-cow-orker) is paddleboarding up here tomorrow so there'll be pubbage then too. Let me know!
permalink it's very unusual that getting inbetween fighting partners
ends well.. the best you can hope for is that they both end up
hating you sooo much they re-bond and live happily ever after
permalink Just got a shock from some christmas lights.
They were in a "stuff to fix at some point" pile but they'd been there so long I'd forgotten what the fault was, so I plugged them in.

Might stop dicking around with mains powered stuff.
permalink Watch this guy do it instead
permalink I enjoyed that.
I've not played with high voltage in a while, I'm often tempted to make a jacob's ladder
permalink TJ gloat time
So I seem to have won the velogames mini league... But I only beat Amy by 12 points and she picked people shed heard of at more or less random.
permalink my team did pretty well considering
I lost 28 points worth of riders in the first few stages
at least this time I'd learned not to pick Tejay
permalink I had basically conflated viviani and Gilbert
To get gaviria who was useless.

Also, I may be in Glasgow on Thursday evening if you are around.
permalink Well it would have been odd
For UAE to have had more than one useful rider
permalink I shall be around
if you fancy a light salad somewhere?
permalink yes, something with avocado and cress perhaps
.. let me see what's happening and i'll drop you a message.
permalink i've sent you a facebook message,
let me know if you have a preferred method of receiving text to your eyeballs
permalink So today I went to a roadshow with work
where a companies took turns in telling us how amazing their stuff was, so that we'll sell more of their stuff in store. It was all white goods / kitchen stuff. Each manufacturer had at least one prize to give away, but they went to people who were extrovert enough to get noticed so I didn't win anything.

Everyone went away with a couple of ghost bags with stuff like water bottles, power banks, etc in.

It was all a bit weird really, but I was fed and watered and paid.
permalink sounds like quite a lot of my job
but i'm usually in a factory near dusseldorf or something
thread Alright bellends
How's your weekend shaping up? Ridiculously active? Basically just sleeping? Plotting the downfall of the state?
permalink I'll be packing
for my trip to Japan via South Korea. Leave on Wednesday, away for nearly three weeks. Cannot wait!
permalink konichiwa
Or possibly sayonara, whichever
permalink Jealous.
permalink i just recently discovered emptying a moka pot of coffee grounds
into an empty baked bean can sounds a lot like Kabuki music.. who'd of thunk it
permalink Pretty much.
And the dancing is equally boring.
permalink I'm going out on my bike at some point
even if it ends in divorce.

Apart from that, swimming lessons for child and usual inconclusive discussion about what film to watch on Saturday, so if anyone's for any bright ideas what's on/I can get from Virgin I'm open to suggestions.
permalink I went out on my bike
permalink The boy, gf and me will drive to a local theme park.
It's an annoyingly "educationally valuable" theme park, but the boy doesn't know about proper roller coasters yet and he is 8 so I guess it's a good place to start.
What's a lame thing of your childhood that you now think today's youth need to be forced to enjoy?
permalink have you gone to that faux beach resort with water slides it's own ecosystem
& stuff.. just outside berlin?
permalink Maybe you thing of the former zeppelin hanger
that's not a "tropical" resort?

No, but I'm a bit tempted. Together with https://en.wikipedia.o..., an amusement park in the ruins of Germany's never finished fast breeder reactor,.
permalink I hope it's called
permalink Pretty lazy, I think.
Much needed.

I was down for two days with the lurgy at the start of the week, and it looks as though I may have unintentionally passed it on to the lovely Spaniard. So it'll be my turn to look after her...

A beer or two at the local after work if she's not feeling too rough.

Might go to the PLASA trade show on Sunday afternoon... it's then or Monday and I know I'm going to be struggling for time on Monday.
permalink I had three days off with lurgy
this week.

Did get to see two excellent stages of La Vuelta, but otherwise just felt shite
permalink I'll probably go for a run, have a nap
and establish the Fifth International
permalink BRAMBLES

followed by

BRAMBLES. The spiky cunts.
permalink Hopefully you'll be listening
To Bramble FM whilst doing so
permalink Thank fuck I'll
never have to do that again. One tree in particular was 50% brambles so the spiky cunts are filling up my green bin again.
permalink Also been down with lurgy this week
Although not passed it on to any sexy Spaniards

Friend up from Wanaka, so will try going for a run. Typically, the glorious mid week sunshine has given way to rain. Possibly beer. Hopefully quite a bit of chilling out. And some AFL
permalink Rain, possibly beer?
Shouldn’t you be out there with an empty bucket?
permalink Um...
Friends coming up for breakfast on their way to Old Trafford from Bristol.

Working 9.30 - 16:45 Sunday.
permalink The rain (and there was lots) was outside
The beer, thankfully inside. Mostly in the pub.
permalink This, clearly, was a reply to Pxy, above
But like, whatever man
permalink I'm hip to that groove Daddio.
Solid gone.
permalink just found out the 'environment extinction' lot
are pro police & suggest getting arrested even though they have no system of lawyers financial aid.. fuck that noise!

edit: Al you might know.. if you get an open return ticket (within a month) are you allowed to get off and back on again inbetween the destination & final destination points
the tickets seem to suggest this..
permalink Depends on the type of ticket I think

Anytime tickets, yes
permalink ...on the day of travel
permalink cheers me deers
permalink I cycled 135 miles yesterday via Cambridge.
It was lumpier than I expected... Which is stupid as I've done that ride before
permalink if I'd known you were coming here
I'd have put the kettle on
permalink We barely stopped in cambridge
Other than a well timed stop to buy a new bolt for a clear in my mates shoe.

thread Fuck's sake,
but arguing with Americans for free health care is uphill work. What a shower of ignorant, selfish cunts.

Even the ones whose Dad needed a couple of years of cancer care and didn't have insurance and ended up dying and the family had to sell their *fucking house* and now live in a shithole to pay for the hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of bills. They still didn't agree with 'fucking socialistic theiving' ie. taxes.

Fucking ignorant CUNTS.
permalink never wrestle a pig
you get muddy and the pig enjoys it
permalink This.
Though it is very easy to wind the cunts up.
permalink Where was this idea before I beasically drove 7 hours to Scotland
To have a Brexit argument with my dad.

But now I'm in Kirkcudbright for the tour of britain
permalink how was it? (and the race)
couldn't really be bothered with the trip and the shenanigans of getting in and out of kirkcudbright, we went north and up a hill instead
permalink usually a good move
where were you?

I had a cracking day on the Ring of Steall last month, but I doubt I'll get any hill time until Christmas now...
permalink just up the road at Beinn Narnain (up the hard way, back the easy)
want to do the Ring of Steall, if I can persuade 'er uphills
permalink It's a fantastic day, weather permitting.
Epic, epic stuff. 4 munros and I think 3 munro tops, with some fantastic and slightly hairy aretes.

A long and strenuous day, with a pretty relentless initial ascent and a descent which is a bit grim after many hours on the hill. I did it solo, and the descent was a mental challenge without company to distract from it!

It's a monster. Magnificent.
permalink And who doesn't like a slightly hairy arete?
*waggles eyebrows*
permalink nice
we did the two to the west (Stob Ban and the other one) back in July

it's the descents that I struggle with, my poor knees

I think we're going to try and do some autumn/winter hills this year (probably at the easier end of the spectrum) - will let you know, if you fancy meeting up for a jaunt?
permalink The descent off Sgurr a'Mhaim is nasty. I was really struggling.
Especially knowing that when I got to the lower car park, I had 2 miles trek up the road to the upper car park where I started. People in larger groups leave a car at the lower car park...

I only manage to get up the mountains when I get a free day or two to myself in Scotland... so it's fairly infrequent. I'll almost certainly be planning something for the few days immediately before christmas if that's any use to you? I mostly walk solo, so it would be a pleasure to have some company...
permalink oh yes, a final road stagger is the pits
we're hoping to be not be going away at christmas, so that may be a definite possibility....
permalink It was grand and there was no real hassle getting into town
You just had to walk 200 yards.

It was good though.
permalink It wasn't the fact you had to walk 200 yds
It was that you then immediately had to walk 200 more
permalink and then fall down
outside the car door?
permalink I had a long discussion with a yank bloke years ago
genuinely couldn't understand it. "Mate, you don't have to buy insurance, a bit of your tax goes to it. Yes, and everyone else, but imagine you lose a leg, you don't pay for it, well you've possibly put some towards it. Like roads, you see? You don't pay for the road near your house, everybody chips in". And so on.
permalink I can't begin to understand
preferring to pay significant more for a system which will try not to pay out for your care than paying less for a system which treats everybody.
permalink Many of them object to it
because it's 'socialism', and that's a bad thing.
permalink I personally think
the bad rap for Universial Health Care is a Chinese conspiracy to weaken Americans.
Wake up Sheeple!
permalink in reality, though, Universal Healthcare is a conspiracy to weaken americans
but by the healthcare lobby rather than the Chinese

it really conflates two issues...the problem with the US system is not the absence of Universal Healthcare, there are plenty of countries with private insurance systems which somehow manage to get along fine without bankrupting people. ok, they're not quite as equitable as the NHS, but the US' problem is almost entirely down to unregulated price-gouging.

the idea that the only alternative is socialism is one that is pushed by the healthcare lobby in order to keep voters on their side, whereas they could keep the system they have, introduce proper price controls, and suddenly find that 95% of the population can afford decent healthcare and most of the issues disappear

the problem is that it is legal to charge $629 for a sticking plaster, not who is paying for it
permalink I know
but I'm counting on people that are susceptible to irrational health care fear, being also susceptible to irrational Chinese conspiracy theories.

Also I see you try to argue from the "little man perspective": You might get cancer one day, and then you will be happy to have HC.
Sure, that a no-brainer and sane thing to say.But have you tried arguing from the smug "rich man perspective"?
Here you go: Universal Healthcare is a luxury I like to afford. The luxury is not my own healthcare. The luxury is that I don't see people dying on the streets on my way to work. No beggingfor cancer treatment while I surf on facebook. This kind of misery just taints my day. And my country is so much nicer without it."
permalink You can also take the healthy workforce line
permalink Less down time,
more ruthless efficiency. I like that.
permalink Nah
In California, they’re gasping for it.
permalink Really?
This lot were Bible Belters, one of whom boasted that he had more guns than books.
permalink The countryside can get pretty Norfolk
But most people here live in the cities and have views that wouldn’t be that out of place in Western Europe, especially the younger people.
permalink Sadly the latest exchange has included a young Californian arsehole based in Arizona
calling me '... a beta Male cuck boy falling for the false song of socialism...' and telling me that '... you socialist[s] are truly the laziest of fucks...'
permalink I thought cuck
was only used by people that brand themselves as incels... In which case that guy has other problems. Also why are you still joining in?
permalink I'm not,
I told them all to cunt off a couple of hours ago.
permalink But you started
3 days ago
permalink It's only been sporadic.
Believe me, there's only so much ignorance I can take.
permalink I can sadly believe it
There are definitely some of them, especially the ones who grew up here and then moved to other right-leaning states. My brother in law grew up here and is an alt-right cunto in Washington DC these days.

California is more sensible in its views now, but was also home to Nixon, Reagan and Barry Goldwater. Thing began to turn around in the early 90s after the Republican governor decided to make life harder for latino people and people started to realise that was pretty cunty.
permalink I'm your governor Pete Wilson ya know/
The baddest governor to ever grab the mic and go
BOOOM / Gimme a budget and watch me hack it
permalink Ooh, hadn't come across
that before
permalink From this:-
permalink people are amazingly fick & i'm starting to regress to my earlier notions of the human race
in that they should all be wiped out and leave the planet to it

which shouldn't be hard as all kinds of amazingly deadly viruses are
being found in the russian planes that have been iced over
for millenia and are now starting to be released by the melt
thread So this spanish cycling nonsense eh?
Amy is currently leading the charge. And I have scraped myself out of the bottohm of the league. But I am cautiously optimistic.... that I won't be last.

Aq. Most surprising element? Magnesium is the third most commonly used structural metal.
permalink my reign ended
with the departure of both Krusjiqijkskcjkk and Uran

also I got Miguel Angel Lopez confused with Luis Leon Sanchez

AQ: bismuth!
permalink I have made the same mistake in the past
Bismuth looks bonkers
permalink Bismuth does form some very cool crystals
permalink This.
permalink good god it was mad nonsense yesterday
did like the bit where all pictures were lost and when they were recovered everything had changed
permalink also after yesterday's stage
Valverde is currently at 666 points, which seems right
permalink I've been on holiday so am trying to catch up
but it might just be easier to ignore it and hope it goes away.

Nitrogen doesn't get the attention it deserves. It's so stable that artificially making useful compounds is extremely difficult, but nature does it relatively easily.
permalink AQ: hippos
Luckily, he knew first aid and was able to seal the wounds in my chest with the wrapper from a tray of snacks, which almost certainly stopped my lungs from collapsing and saved my life.


permalink I wonder what the melting point of hippo is?
. I just had a salt beef bagel from brick lane for lunch as I cycled down under the pretext of buying a new bike bell.

It was great... I should have bought 2.
permalink I certainly never covered snack wrappers
in my Brownies first aid course.
permalink ps. jealous
permalink Jesus fucking christ.
"time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth."
permalink PS - Al/Amy
We must have a beer soon.. I have a bag of Canadian cat madness for you...
permalink oh yes, good point.
we are up in haggisland next weekend, (watching the tour of britain come into Kirkcudbright if meepmeep is heading down that way?)

could do a midweek pint perhaps?
permalink Sometime next week should work...
Stay in touch.
permalink indeed.
I dont think i've got anything booked.

permalink This week is a mess
Next week less so.
permalink Holy fuck
I nearly spat my coffee out at that bit.
permalink well this slightly melted my mind.

off to find some paperclips.
permalink My Granddad
had a whole shedload of those sort of tricks. Paperclips, paper, bits of string, pencils. I loved them.
permalink I'm jus glad
that with everything on fire at work, I'm 99% confident that it is neither my fault nor going to affect me longterm
permalink I am happy to vent
on socials dm, but nowhere else

but good fucking lord
permalink Where are you working now?
permalink Conservative Party
central office?
permalink He said "not his fault"
permalink I'm now chair of governors at my local primary school.
I fired someone on my first day.

Today I've been interviewing, same tomorrow.

I'm knackered.
permalink Good tactic, get in there, throw your weight around
Show them who's boss...

Get some gang tattoos and pick out a pretty boy as a cell mate
permalink Yeah, I took out the biggest one
and today I've installed two of my own lackeys.
permalink Everybody canceled today so no interviewing
which means I can go to my eight hour long induction at currys.
permalink 8 hours on an induction hob
permalink Would you like broadband with that?
permalink Occasionally I'm given a personalised cake
from Costco because it was ordered and not collected.

I think this is a great premise for a tv series.

Each episode there's a cake that gets chucked out, then it flags back to the story of what Dylan did that meant he didn't get his 16th birthday cake, for example.
permalink This week on
The Costco Cake Capers...
permalink You could get guest writers and directors.
Tonight's episode was written by Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, and was directed by Guillermo del Torro.
permalink I really hope at
some point you get a Monkey Faced Cake.
permalink You're my cake now
permalink And in tonight's episode,
directed by Chris Morris, the Cake isn't quite what anybody thought it would be.
permalink it's a made up tv show.
permalink I'm now interested in the back story
to why Costco just give you cake. I take it this is a charity thing rather than an "in" with the bakery team?
permalink Yeah, it's a charity thing.
It's part of the Wigan junk food initiative - food is given to local organisations instead of being sent to landfill. Costco stuff goes to a vicar's wife, and some of it comes to us. So at the moment we have half a cake left and a freezer full of mozzarella.

We get surplus or stuff that asylum seekers don't eat.
permalink cool
now get your tv show commissioned
thread Oh shit.

permalink Indeed.
permalink fun, isn't it?
I'm going to head into town to shout at things
permalink You live in Glasgow though
Thats basically standard protocol
permalink whyafudginbasta

*coughing fit*
permalink 'ou lookin at PAL??!??!!
permalink Nah, NTSC
permalink Sorry mate
that joke just doesn't scan
permalink It's so dead, needs CRT
permalink Beta
try harder.
permalink yeah
entire network offline at work due to malware attack.
permalink Nice.
I'm in holiday.
permalink I imagine our IT guys
all wished they were today
permalink are you coming to HMHB on Friday?
permalink on the basis that I'd missed that
that was the rearranged date and I've got a ticket to something in London instead, erm, no
permalink fair enough
Have fun in the Londons
permalink it's total wanker level stuff
a live show at the podcast fest of The The One Show Show
permalink wait
what?! Friday Biscuit?
permalink yeah, the rearranged date from April
Junction on Friday
permalink I must attend.
Of course, the next day is the Retro Weekend at the computer museum where I'll be stooding up for 10 hours per day so naturally I need to bop to some Scousers the night before :D
permalink Careful
calling the Wirralese Scousers, mind you!
permalink jolly good
I'll see you there.
permalink Sadly, on this occasion
I will not be making the trip from NZ
permalink you've got a week's notice
what more do you need?!
permalink Considerably more
annual leave would be a start
permalink Huzzah!
permalink Of course, after today's surprise
visit to Sheffield my appearance tomorrow is now more in doubt. Fucksocks.
permalink bloody South Yorkshire
I'll be there all things being equal, although I'm waiting on final confirmation of times as Emma is doing something after school (I'll admit I wasn't listening when she told me what 6 weeks ago and it's too late to tell her I can't remember what it is now).
permalink Have a bop for me,
I still need to pack the car, remember stuff I've forgotten and have a bath, eat etc. Possibly in that order!
permalink yeah, don't eat in the bath
For those who need to know, play date at Phoebe's was the reason.
permalink Well it's nice to have that cleared up.
Oddly the Junction website doesn't mention the gig, does but just says 'rescheduled' and has no other info. Wonder if there's any tickets left on the door...
permalink I'm 99% it's happening
there's loads of old blokes in Achtung Bono shirts knocking about. In stage at 2030 by the look of it.
permalink thinking about it
I think the box office closes at 6 or something daft, so that might be why the website is no use.
permalink "limited amount on the door"
permalink Bah. I've taken my shoes off now so
I'm *in*. Couldn't get there until gone 9 anyhoo. Ta for checking though!
permalink that's a great cut off
shoes off, not going back on. You'd look out of place, no old blokes with beards anywhere.
permalink Bob Wilson to start
permalink Is Jim Rosenthal
permalink good mix of stuff
Loads of new, plenty of v old. Not much in the middle, but fun. Stuck on a train with really tedious fuckers now.
permalink Must admit I haven't listened to 'hedge' as much
as I should've done, I blame getting into comedy podcasts. Hope you survived the tedious fuckers!
permalink This.
/takes to drink
permalink Quite. LOLitics, eh?
Been a bit quiet round 'ere.

Funny week.
permalink well this is all
jolly splendid isn't it. Democracy eh, who needs it.
permalink That little cunt Cummings now basically runs the country.
permalink I'm currently working at the Scottish Government
I was asking about increased likelihood of being redeployed given yesterday's events (i.e. all the contingency plans in place for what will be done to manage no deal) and was basically told that, right now, the number one priority is to carry on completely normally and demonstrate what a properly functioning government in a democratic state looks like.
permalink Take some pictures to show your grand children
permalink look! this is me doing a spreadsheet
back when we had things called data and evidence

now go and finish your turnip or you'll not be allowed any cabbage for pudding
permalink la la la lalalalalalalal cant hear any news la la la

as a sop to distract the masses: more time has passed since Pulp Fiction came out than had passed between that time and Saturday Night Fever being released.

permalink Hit me baby one more time
Would be old enough to stand for parliament if it were a person.
permalink It couldn't be much worse than the current lot
Am I right?

permalink News just in that after the latest cabinet reshuffle
Firestarter by the Prodigy has been made Home Secretary and
The Drugs Don't Work by the Verve has taken over as health secretary
permalink careful
or you'll be schools minister