thread But where's your wheelie bin?
permalink Dammit
I can't find the wheeliebinosaurus image

Edit: I lied!
permalink I found that the other day while cleaning my room
I must get that framed
permalink know what's a ballache?
car insurance. How about I promise not to crash and we leave it at that?
permalink Just fit a motor to your wheelie bin
problem solved.
permalink I would
but "the man" says I'm not allowed to take a child in the motorway in one. Political correctness gone mad.
permalink which one?
we have 3
permalink In different locations?
That's bonkers mate, you want to get your wheelie bins under control.
permalink they are normally in a fairly neat row, but the brown one is furthest from the

sometimes it lives in the end of the front garden but we've moved the woodpile there.
permalink I think it's fair to say
this 'board is sometimes not as exciting as it used to be.
permalink The excitement bar was set pretty low to start with
I think a vertically challenged anorexic limbo dancer would have come perilously close to hitting his nostrils
permalink Hang on, isn't this a terribly mixed metaphor?
Doesn't "bar set low" refer to the pole vault, so it means "easy"?
Because "easy" in limbo dancing would be "bar set very high"...

Also, can I tell my Pole Vaulter joke?
The punchline is "Yes, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
permalink Only if I can tell the Piece of String joke.
The punchline for that is 'I'm a frayed knot'. It's akin to the Sandwich Who Orders a Pint joke, the punchline for which is 'We don't serve sandwiches'.
permalink nonononono
it's "no, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?" as Walter is a German name, not a Polish one
permalink Oh no
permalink I like to mix it up
You know what Banachek used to say: Only someone with nothing to be sorry about smiles at the rear of an elephant.
permalink i've officially handed in my notice
.. I was going to make a joke about it in the email., but apparently the process really is called the "off-boarding process"

permalink Oooh!
have you got some piss-easy, highly paid, consultancy lined up?
permalink sort of,
i'm hopefully going to be lining up some of my existing projects to keep hold of, and that'll get me going and tail off a little...

sounds like they are keen for me to do so.. we've not talked cash yet mind.
permalink Oh no,
does that mean your discount code will stop working?

permalink im not sure, though i'll get someone elses

fyi do check that the code is still worth it, sometimes joining the rewards club is just as good and can be refundable..
permalink Haha, no worries. I've really not used it that much...
Congrats, etc.

Funnily enough I've just had a job offer today. Am waiting for the contract and will then be handing in my notice too.
permalink or, you know,
booking through expedia or similar via quidco, paying the higher rate but getting the difference back in cash

but only fiddlewangers would do such a thing
permalink always book direct kids

if you are a gold member you get to keep your points and a free drink so automated fiddlewangery
permalink Whatever wangs your fiddle
That's what I always say!
permalink I've booked off
the first week off in January and I'm going to Mallorca with the new boyfriend. Taking him to stay at my brothers house for a week.

He thinks I'm a challenge HA! wait till my brother makes him cycle up a mountain.
permalink up a foxes arse it would seem
but thanks for bringing travel up again

so the best eu exit would be to leave the overpowering 'democracy' of europe but still let the forrins in?
seems ok to me..
thread any of you lot got
a £15 or under VAT receipt for dinner on Thursday 5th night in London? I ate at @cthonic's house and it was lovely but I can't claim anything back for it now....
permalink I'm not really trying to cheat
I've submitted them already. Just bragging about my internet friends feeding me.
permalink There are online receipt generatiors
permalink fair point
I didn't think of that. I should really claim for the cab to the station but forgot to put that in too.
permalink also in this circumstance
I tend to claim the bottle of wine i take round... or similar.
permalink Just write it on a piece of paper and sign it.
That is fine.

I would write it for £35 and then say that you only want to claim £15 of it because you treated yourself.
permalink The evening meal limit
was 15 and no alcohol allowed to be claimed.
permalink Yes, I understand that.
This is my approach to that scenario.

Overspend, only claim part of it.
permalink Out of the box expenses fiddling
stealing imaginary money off of yourself.
permalink This is not fiddling
I often eat meals with friends and stay at their home, then expense the meal in leiu of accommodation, or I have a bottle of something with my meal and mark part of the meal as a personal expense.

This is me not fiddling expenses.
permalink It's total fiddlewangery
and you know it fiddlewanger
permalink Fuck em
it's work and you're away from home.
permalink That's not my point, Jiva's already said no expense over £15 and no alchohol
Manley is trying to fiddlewangle something that doesn't exist out of his arsehole, because he's a great big fiddlewanger.
permalink she's trying to fiddle something
he's suggested a way of fiddling.. it wouldn't mean she gets any more than her £15

what are you really angry about here?
permalink I think that he
jut does not get it.
permalink I'm not getting angry
i just like calling Manley a fiddlewanger
permalink I think that is just wishful thinking on your part.
Go wangle your own viola.
permalink I'm not the fiddlewanger
I'm the fiddlewanger's son
And I'm only wanging fiddles
Till the fiddlewanger comes
permalink That's Numberwang!
permalink Shut
thread I bought it.

Not suffering any buyer's remorse, whatsoever.
permalink I recently did this with a Land Rover
I'm astonishingly poor now, but don't regret it at all.

edit: it also looks lovely, well done
permalink This cost me more than
any car I have ever bought.
permalink So did the Land Rover
permalink What is it?
Imgur is blocked on this train and I've run out of data on my corporate phone
permalink It is the painting that this is a print of:
permalink Also, at risk of putting a pragmatic downer on things
have you thought about insurance?
permalink Good call.
I will do that now.
permalink Actually, I cannot find the insurance docs.
I will have to ask my wife . . . hmm.
permalink Try https
Instead of http. Gets around our firewall restrictions at work!
permalink I really like that
its a nice picture. Its good as long as you enjoy it.
permalink Lovely
permalink kurt jackson.
Has a German language google entry, no wikipedia entry beside the English one though. Reasonably famous, I' d say. Looks good as well. Got a good spot to hang it?
permalink You've hung it wonky
permalink I have not hung it at all.
That is on a table.
permalink There's your problem then
permalink hanging's too good for it?
permalink did she like it?
permalink I am saving it for her birthday.
November 16th.
permalink No,
that's my wife's birthday
permalink Oh, God,
This is embarrassing.
thread 1988 Witchy
permalink Tokyo Verde 1969
for the cup
permalink Is this some kind of
spy code?
permalink Gatwick North
But where to?
permalink Preveza

Interesting approach. Came in high from the sea (west) over the airport, banked left whilst descending over the bay (east), back more or less over the airport, turned left again, back over, further into the bay and a turn right to finally line up to land heading west. I've never seen an airport so much before landing before. Off quickly, still relying on manual passport check (fast), bags as fast as they could get them I reckon.
permalink they were trying to read the signposts to check it was the right one
permalink I was surprised to learn
That the "sixties basic concrete shed" terminal was built in the 80s
permalink green
And whatever the girlfriend is cooking.
permalink Grey.
Norsk fiskesuppe and a bag of roast beef Monster Munch.
permalink White (well they used to be... I really should replace them)
And McRib Bacon menü
permalink Black. (I think)
Guilty Pleasure Sausage Roll and pineapple after to make up for it.

permalink but my baby just wants to dance
permalink Now Wash Your Hands.
permalink bah,
I was nearly right :)
permalink i don't understand :( *
*have the greatest hangover in 10yrs
(so far written the outline for two books..worked out the concept for my next gig had eggs and wrote a poem)

the builders are in (that's not a metaphor)
now have to argue with the doctors receptionist.. do not like
permalink Witchy will know this:
Why do we call servers 'tin'?
permalink because they are tiny?
because they are full of beans?
permalink as with everything, there as a naval origin
the original servers were made from discarded submarine batteries, these are referred to by sailors as 'tins' after David Bowie's Tin Machine concept album that made liberal use of submariners and their stored electricity.
permalink obvs.
permalink This sounds surprisingly like the real reason that the travelling wilburys
got their name.
permalink I think it's just because they're essentially metal boxes, isn't it?
that simple?
permalink yep.
a useless tin box until you put an OS on.
permalink But why 'tin'
as the metal?
permalink Because it's quicker to say than
permalink it also has a secondary definition as a slang term for any metal
with a suggestion of flimsiness
permalink presumably because it implies a thin metal
permalink not a clue,
I've always known it as tin, right back to the 80s.
permalink Likewise
but without really thinking about it.

permalink reminds me of this
permalink MrsJam is out.
I've just put Eve to bed. This is a win.
thread whats your ideal job title ?
I'm pondering whether 'director' or 'founder' or 'principal' is the best job title for my new business cards.. or if that's pretentious nonsense

But then the urge is strong to put "absolute legend" or "head of the joint chiefs of staff". "VP of pottering about",

permalink the people who own our company
are 'senior partners', which seems about right. We don't have any non-senior partners though.
permalink Saying that would nicely imply that there are more people than there really are
. My cat could be the junior partner
permalink Give yourself a C suite title.
Just do that.
permalink CGO
and never tell people what the G stands for
permalink Why the hell not?
But CMO, CEO, COO, CCO - any of those are worth having had.
permalink I liked the main character in The Hippopotamus
describing a CEO as '...kind of like a cross between a Managing Director and a... cunt'
permalink CIC?
Cunt in charge
permalink Groping?
permalink Isn't that a reserved term
for companies that are actually set-up as partnerships legally?
permalink Director of Better.

I'm shifting stuff from my work laptop to my wife's desktop, and installing software. I'm going to miss that laptop, it was rather good.
permalink Loafer in Chief
permalink Emeritus Professor would be nice
but those bloody yanks and their job title inflation have really destroyed the academic hierarchy, what with them calling everyone from a PhD student doing teaching support upwards 'professor'.

in my general field, the people who really know their stuff tend to keep it simple...if someone just calls themselves 'Engineer' despite clearly being quite senior it normally means you can take them seriously

Did a 5k up in Callander today, didn't hang around for the prizes but suspect I may have got silver in my age/distance category. The other guy beat me.
permalink miscounted, I got bronze in M35+ category
and also came last in the category
permalink Do you need a title?
permalink this is a fair point
I've gone for Principal, but I may scrub it.
permalink Checked into a Yotel
In the bowels of the airport. Or possibly a submarine? Definitely more "cabin" than "room".
permalink 0745 flight
Could do with breakfast, it's from the other terminal, got a bag to drop, how long is early Sunday security going to take?
permalink too late now but
it'll be quick.

permalink It was
Had overpriced but ok breakfast at Garfunkel's, in what is now very much the easyJet terminal. I think whilst I was there there were three non EZY flights on the departure boards
permalink if you had time for that
you clearly got up too early.

they really hide the pret in there ... in fact in both gatwiick terminals it's as far away as possible, i suspect this is deliberate... to make people walk past everything else
permalink Ive used the one in Schiphol a couple of times
weird. but workable.
permalink Just booked flights to Antigua,
and will need to sort travel from Antigua to Monserrat nearer the time.

Not really looking forward to nine hours on a plane with a toddler.
permalink My job title is 'Principle Strategist'
My cards just say 'Manley'.
permalink Principle?
Or Principal?

Because I'm not sure I'd like to see your strategy for principles.
permalink I once registered for a trade show
on a slow Friday afternoon, and thought it would be hilarious to put my job title as Supreme Chancellor. Arrived at the show and was handed my badge to find that they see job title as the most important bit, so while my name and company were in normal type, I had all caps SUPREME CHANCELLOR twice the size across the middle of the badge.
permalink An aquaintance of mine has "Air Vice Marshall" on his credit card bill
I don;t think it's on the actual card...
permalink Go for "Top Banana"
or "International Man Of Mystery"