thread Happy Late Spring Festival Weekend™
We have been mooching around sussex so far, and planned a day of gardening but Homebase is closed so we might just do nothing much.

permalink I have built a bespoke set of shelves to resolve kitchen storage chaos
The Spaniard is off out to meet her family as they're in town for a few days.

So now I have a quiet few hours to myself.
permalink I have been cooking
yesterday chicken arrabiata, today felafel, god I love fresh felafel
permalink I also enjoy a falafel...
the turkish bread / kebab shop up the road tends to be my go-to workign from home lunch
permalink We traveled from France to Scarborough.
France is nicer. Angers is ridiculously nice to say it's thinned with Wigan.

My mum is taking us to the sea life Centre tomorrow.
permalink Scarborough is a shithole.
hi everyone xx
permalink Hello the Dominocat!
Massive hugs!
permalink epic snogs back!
I've missed you x
permalink hello you
it's not that bad
permalink did the french give you any gip for leaving the EU?
it's happened to a couple of fiends in paris
permalink Happy mid autum choco-festivus
Down in Wanaka for a few days, which is very pleasant. Knackered after long trail run yesterday, and crazy anniversary night out last night (we were out until 21:30!!). Going to be a chilled day doing some touristy driving about and maybe a litle light walking
permalink Wanaka has the best cinema in the world
Brilliant place.
permalink Does look cool
But haven't been in yet
permalink congratulations!
Old boy.
permalink phone woes
phone seems to have decided that a microphone is a silly idea. Both the standard one and the speakerphone one (think these are separate on the Nexus 5?) tried a cheap bluetooth headset... nothing.
permalink Have you tried
Pressing mute?
permalink it is
across all apps.
permalink Yes, but have you tried it?
Otherwise it's a factory reset
permalink i've tried the mute button
in the phone app, yes. I can't find a universal mute? I've tried sound recording apps
permalink I believe an application
of limes may be in order.

permalink dang
related subject:
phones in the £200-£300 range, sim free, stock android or can be flashed to stock android: what's good?
permalink I'd be somewhat surprised if a factory reset doesn't fix it.
The Nexus 5 has two mircophones, so it doesn't sound like a hardware thing
permalink I'll
Give it a go tonight
permalink (I've checked my backup stuff but don't fancy
Doing it at work). As i say, not just the phone mics, a Bluetooth headset mic doesn't work either.
permalink on the old Nexus 5
the original one from years ago, you genuinely could mend some problems by tapping it on a table. Gently obviously.
permalink a fonzie tap
permalink yeah exactly
it basically had rampack wobble, so the battery would wiggle a bit and interfere with the microphone.
permalink Definitely lime time
Then chuck it in the sea.
permalink I'd cover it in jam
And cunt it in the Murray too, just to be sure
permalink Do phones have murrays?
permalink The Nexus 5
has two
thread My colleage us austrian
she's on the phone with someone in germany

so the conversation is understandibly peppered with lots of typical phrases for us "merrychef" "reception pods" "name of designers" "New Hotel Openings Team"

but "Die Latest thinking" was a bit odd.
permalink I love overhearing these little things from my German colleagues.
Although Facebook appears to have decided I've lived in Germany long enough to speak the language, and has stopped offering to translate German. I feel shamed by a website.
permalink it was the Eurostar
permalink That *is* quite difficult to guess.
permalink not quite sure where the B came from
he was asking about where to park for there a couple of weeks ago. Do you people not take notes?
permalink No.
permalink This ^
permalink I was at least right
About Thameslink being the key clue
permalink He put an edit on his original post
not that long afterwards.
permalink You know what I love?
getting an email asking me to review the products I bought.... before you have got round to shipping them to me.
permalink 'stanglian types:
Know a decent pub that does good burgers in Wroxham?
permalink oohh
wroxham is a funny old bean. Its quite small in the middle and mostly river front properties. Making it almost impossible to park unless you're using the big pay and display.
The kings head is in town is ok.
The pubs are ok and most you can get something to eat at but not anything special. You'd be better going around several other of the broads.
reedham ferry has good reviews.

If you're on a boat there are lots more accessible by boat that are nicer pubs than in Wroxham.

How are you getting there? because you practically have to come past my door step if you're driving through Norwich.
permalink Day trip in the car, so coming round Norwich on the A47, I expect.
It's me and the Mr, off to see some massive model railway thing.
Totally up for a bit of a deviation if there's somewhere good to go.

If it were just me, I'd pop in for sure, but I don't want to promise on behalf of Mr O'Speed, if you know what I mean?
permalink you could hijack a boat YARR!
and explore the bounty jiva speaks of YARR!
permalink completely understand
I don't want to inflict a broken munkt0n on anyone unknowing. It would be a shock.
permalink Why don't you drop me a knee male
on username hat gmail dot com with a mobile number or something, just in case.

I'm conscious that I don't think I've ever met either of you, so don't want to impose myself, let alone my weirdo other third.
permalink address not found
and I've checked my spelling twice.
permalink Yes, I'm a fucking eeeeejit
Woke up in the middle of the night going "sheeeeeet, that aint my email"
permalink I had gathered
You were always up for a deviation! ;-)
permalink ok best and closest I can find is
Fur and Feathers inn
Woodbastwick, Norwich NR13 6HQ
which is next to the Woodfordes Norfolk Ales brewery so you can stock up on some local brew :)
we've had food there a couple of times and its always been nice. Look out for the boat loads of stag parties dressed as pirates that come from the river. A47 goes south city, You'll be able to join back up with that from the woodbastwick road and bypass Norwich on the way back.

If its a great sunny day have fish and chips in Wroxham and sit and feed the swans near the bridge.

permalink That looks great, thanks!
The plan is a super early start, hit the model railway when it opens at 10-11, then be out and at a pub when it opens at 12-1.
Then we can take our time getting home, amidst all the horrors of BH traffic.
It's basically just a day out abusing the company private fuel usage policy while i have use of the pool Range Rover* for the weekend.

*the JoSmobile is out of action due to a rebumpering operation having become necessary**

** I drove it slowly into a bungalow***

*** which just ran out in front of me officer
permalink Oh Manley....
permalink am I allowed to laugh
because this is funny
permalink hahahahahahahaha

nothing to see here, as you were.
permalink I fell out of a tree yesterday
And the wound on my arm keeps sticking to the inside of my blazer sleeve.

It makes me feel young again.
thread first world problems -
broke a tooth on some Curiously Cinnamon this morning. First 'emergency' appointment I can get at the dentist is the 25th, wheeeeee.

Receptionist said she'd had someone ring up who'd broken a tooth on some lettuce so naturally I asked if it was still in the ground at the time.

What minor irritations will be cutting YOUR tongue to ribbons by the end of the day?
permalink Well, Mrs C's plane back from Auckland is late, so she'll be home late
And I should be packing for Easter holidays, but cannot be arsed. And worrying about whether ex-tropical cyclone Cook is going to feck about with our ferry crossing on Friday morning.

But other than that, mustn't grrrrrumble
permalink the fact i'm unlikely to take delivery of my new bike before easter

or.. you know.. work
permalink Oh dear,
have they updated you?
permalink no
not yet.
permalink I ordered some new bar ends
last week on a 48 hour delivery so they should've been here last thurs. Yesterday I opened a case with ebah(-ends) and the seller came back going 'probs a postal delay give it a couple of days'. Which is an extra couple of days on top of the extra couple of days I've already given him. No comfy bike riding for me over easter then.

permalink At least they didn't mistakenly
send you a box of bell-ends
permalink that would make my
bike go like the clappers.
permalink It'd be the
dog's bollocks!
permalink I once new a joke about a guy collecting fannies in a wheelbarrow
It was a very Glaswegian joke, and I can't remember it now.

"Fanny". There's an old-skool slang word that appears to be in decline. Or is it just me?
permalink I use 'don't fanny around'
quite often, or up north 'divvent fanny aboot, pet'

In bar-endrical news, they've arrived! There will be bikeage over the next 4 days, rah.
permalink Yes... "fanny around", or "fanny about", I do use.
I wish I could remeber the joke about the wheelbarrow full of fannies though.
permalink I put the integrity of my google search history in peril
and searched for it, but with no luck at all.
permalink good effort sah.
Have the weekend off.
permalink I want to have a little moan.
My doctor and my EMDR lady both referred me for psychiatric evaluation, after I did something stupid a few weeks back. I got an appointment form, called up and was told that my appointment had been cancelled.

The office which oversees such things made that decision without ever meeting with me, and with both of its feeder units putting me forward.

I went to the quack today and he says it sounds like nothing more than a cost cutting exercise and the letter he received from then makes no sense at all.

He says he is going to chase it up, but now I am all at a limbo.
permalink haha
listen this'll cheer you
permalink Nothing cheers me up any more.
A friend borrowed my fishing rod and left it on the beach by mistake and I nearly collapsed.
permalink well that would piss
anyone off to be fair
permalink is the NHS completely bollocked down your way?
whenever I read something about the latest closures and/or staff shortages, it always seems to be something that's happened in the SW.
permalink London only cares about London
We pay our share, but we do not get our share.

Fucking townie cunts.

They need us, we do not need them.
permalink So as you're still employed
Can't you use some business city private gibbons to oil the cogs?
permalink i'm trying realREAL hard to not finish this 400g bag of licorice before dinner
oh and i just got four more pills added to my daily diet.. i'ma walking fucking pharmacy
permalink Are you alright?
Apart from the rattling.
permalink I think Al's dad is up to something like 34 a day
so that gives you something to aim for.
permalink blimey just added it up 30
except mon,wed,fri it's 33
permalink Then you're already there!
permalink yeah nothing serious just trying to get back to normal
taking much longer than i expected (and somewhat more painful)..

them bones them bones them d-r-y bones

permalink I ate about 2/3rds of a 3kg bag.
I fucking love liquorice.
permalink that's the spirit!
i'll polish these off then..
permalink I'm still going at it. Cannot seem to stop.
I take about 8 now, but I was up to 53 at one point.

Some days I only take 2.
permalink Isn't liquorice one of those things
which gives you the shits if you eat too much of it?
permalink Maybe
With my IBS, I'd never notice.
permalink I got a huge bag of liquorice comfits today
Only 800g, but still nom.
permalink how comfiting.
permalink Mr Pharmacist!
permalink now that you say that
Riggers makes a lot more sense if you read him as a Fall song.
permalink This is a major breakthrough
in C4mbodiology.
permalink Tee hee
It all makes sense now
permalink shucks you guys say the nicest things
permalink I'm going to have to go to Switzerland
I don't want to go to Switzerland.
permalink Switzerland is amazing.
Beautiful, beautiful country.

Unfortunately, the Swiss are a bunch of utter cunts.
permalink I've been a few times, but not for years
this is more because it's for a meeting I can't be fucked with.
permalink try getting dragged
off the flight then watch the gutter press find some 'dirt' on another new_matt who isn't you.

4) profit.
permalink go to the art brut museum in lausuanne (sp?)
that'll make up for any rubbish meeting
permalink I'd literally be there for 4 hours
Complete waste of my life and everyone's money.
thread New Thread!
so this united airlines thing.. why on earth did they let passengers on the plane THEN try to remove them, that seems really odd.

permalink They were turfing them off for a standby crew
so presumably they didn't know the standby crew needed to travel until after the passengers had boarded. Which also makes me wonder how long they had them sitting on the tarmac.
permalink The standby crew appeared at the gate
After the last passengers had boarded.
permalink I think I am entirely on his side.
I have been bumped, which is a pain, but at this point he was on. Someone else being un-bumped is not enough of a reason to be bumped.
permalink Yup.
Bumped before boarding: not ideal, but happens. Because of idiot business practices, but happens. If you're sat on the plane it should not happen, they should work out another way to ferry those crew
permalink I don't even really mind the practice of overbooking.
It deals with the issue of people on flexible tickets changing their plans at the last minute, and makes flying more efficient and cheaper for us all. Ultimately I think we all benefit from overbooking, as awkward and inconvenient as it can be.

However, I think that as the airline benefits most from it, it is its moral responsibility to mitigate the effects. I'm pretty astonished that they couldn't find 4 people on the whole plane (I assume 200ish people) who would agree to compensation and a free extra night in Chicago.
My gut feeling is that the airline screwed up in three ways:
1. not realising soon enough that they needed 4 seats for the standby crew
2. not managing the process of looking for volunteers very effectively
3. not handling the mandatory bumping procedure very well - apparently they've just said he was "belligerent" - well, sure, I'd be pretty belligerent, but you don't need to get to the point of physical handling someone, surely?

At the end of the day, the airline had a problem, and however understandable that was, it's their responsibility to resolve that problem without physical violence, which it seems like they failed to do.
permalink Overbooking plus a reverse dutch auction
is completely the optimum way to conduct this - overbook (which has clear socialised benefits) and then offer a rising price to people to fly later. There is some price at which people will take the inconvenience - the issue is, that price appears to be somewhat higher than $800, but even if it were $8,000 that's still going to come out cheaper in total than making all tickets 'firm' capacity. Great economics case study of the impact of arbitrary price caps.
permalink Yes, the last offer being $800
does seem to be the airline attempting to have cake and eat it, doesn't it?

I wonder what the cost of the standby crew not arriving would be? a full flight's worth of $800, plus accommodation, food, extra airport costs, down the line delays due to the plane being in the wrong place. I'd guess it's easily seven figures, so you'd think $1600 per passenger is still a great deal for the airline!
permalink I wonder how the cost of the PR disaster is working out for them?
As more and more stories come out...
permalink currently standing at
$1 billion off their share price
permalink I do
If I book a seat then I expect to fly. If people want flexible seats then they need to pay a lot more.
permalink Their CEO and America's general feeling that it is okay to be violent with anyone you disagree with

If I were the doctor concerned, who is being removed from his seat, which he had paid for, and been asked to be late for work so that airline staff are not late for work, I too would be belligerent. I am definitely hostile to such blatant nepotism and would be especially hostile to being single out by a member of staff to be refused transport so that their colleague got transport.

If a doctor missing the flight is acceptable to United then why is it unacceptable that their staff cannot miss the flight?
permalink I can only assume they had to move the staff in order that a later flight wasn't cancelled
which would obviously be worse than 2 people missing his flight, if they were just going home or whatever that'd be amazingly bad.

but they way they did it seems massively incompetent first, then nasty later. I
permalink Someone being bumped is not news
Someone being selected from near the back of the aircraft, punched and dragged off the aircraft?

I think they could have made better arrangements.

It was their incompetence, after all.
permalink absolutely.
i can only imagine someone fucked up and should have held them at the gate.

also if you are going to drag someone off a plane, chose someone near the door.
permalink They offered $400
then $800 and nobody bit so the next stage is to have the computer 'randomly' select 4 people who presumably would be compensated and put on the next flight.
permalink Yes to the last two
the next flight being 5pm the next day.
permalink But however you look at it United fucked up
because how the hell did they not know a standby crew needed to travel?
permalink And is an air hostess really that important?
permalink Well as Al says
if the stand by crew didn't turn up perhaps they would have to cancel a whole flight.
permalink For a hostess?
They had three volunteers.
permalink Please don't call them hostesses.
It's both gender biased (implying it's women's work) and derogatory (implying it is servile and trivial in nature).

I realise it's not the most high powered job in the world, but as Al says, they are safety trained, work hard, have to deal with shitty people all the time, and are worthy of at least some respect.
permalink It was the term I read to describe the staff, 2 pilots and 2 hostesses.
I am unsure what is demeaning about being an air hostess or an air host. Trolley dolly, yes, hostess, not at all.

I do not assume it is a job for women, but since hostess was used I assumed these ones were female.

I think that suggesting that someone would be offended or ashamed by being an air hostess is rather more insulting than anything else.
permalink Not by being an air hostess
but by being called an air hostess.
permalink ps. check yo priviledge
and how to spell privilige because I have no idea
permalink Privilege
I think.
permalink Yes, it's short for
privet hedge
permalink airlines do not use that term
what you've done is copy someone else miss-using this term
permalink Is that pun intentional
permalink He's very hit and miss
Most of the time his puns didn't work, but every now and again, one pun in ten did
permalink there was an excellent documentary on this subject a few years back
permalink Gotcha.
permalink Yes
All cabin crew are safety trained. Each plane/seating configuration has a minimum number of cabin crew that must be on the flight for it to be allowed to operate. The trolley service is secondary.
permalink That is reasonable
But surely they can find someone locally, after all airports are full of the buggers.
permalink I think planes are full of the buggers
and airports are full of airline staff who are not cabin crew.
permalink On the whole, 'planes tend to hang about at airports
In fairly large numbers.
permalink Even with an airline as wasteful and badly run
As a major American carrier, the planes and crews tend to be fairly tightly diagrammed
permalink imagine, just for a second
a Ryanair flight to Barcelona without any cabin crew

yes, yes they are
permalink I cannot
I would not get on a Ryan Air aircraft.
permalink It's pretty unlikely, as Ryan Air is a long defunct minor US airline
Ryanair, on the other hand
permalink I find them pretty much level with BA
in customer experience these days
permalink according to the woman who was sitting next to him it was just 400 and in miles not cash
they guy apparently volunteered him and his wife initially then they found out they couldn't fly til the next day so reneged,
she said there was no mention of hotel provision

but somehow the magic random button picked him anyway.. no wonder he thought it was a stitch up
apparently after being dragged off he managed to get back onto the plane via the back entrance which doesn't say much for the airlines security
permalink America really needs passenger rights regulations like the EU has.
But that's never gonna happen.
permalink I missed
why it was him specifically and not someone else, was he just last on?
permalink they picked someone at random
the brown guy oddly enough
permalink aha
I've done very little sitting about reading the news recently.
permalink They picked *four* people at random
the other couple and this guy's wife agreed to leave.
permalink Also
they offered everyone money before they picked people at random. They say their second offer was $800 to get off the plane. I'm pretty surprised no one took it so maybe it's bullshit.
permalink If you have to be somewhere to do your job... can't take that, tempting as it may be. Especially if the next flight is a long time away.

If you're on your own time and don't need to be anywhere... then woo, yay, hoopla! Day out on United. The problem is that people tend to book flights when they need them and don't have the flexibility...

Many's the time I've been offered anything up to £50 in easyJet vouchers and a second-rate coffee to wait in an airport for 4 hours. Airlines hope to appeal to greed but don't want to acknowledge the reality of people's lives and the actual value of time.
permalink For the doctor I understand it
But not everyone's job is the same
permalink I got £800 and a hotel and dinner
Oh, and a coffee.

Mind you, I was delayed by 24 hours.
thread Guess the terminal!
We're off abroad for a week, then going for a week with my mum and step dad in Scarborough.

I've left the car on a street in St Albans.

Edit it was the eurostar terminal. I'm now in Angers staying with friends. It's ridiculously lovely, it's 28 degrees and we seem to have spent most of the day eating on the veranda.
permalink *shudder*

Or is this a "actually Thameslink runs pretty much 24hrs" thing, sooo, Gatwick South?
permalink lets
permalink Snorbans!
Better I guess than St Evenage!
permalink I've had a lovely long weekend
capped with four hours in casualty after the child fell off her bike. All fine, just cuts, but crikey what a day...
permalink spent a night at our favourite restaurant/hotel
eating langoustines and roe deer. nom.
permalink Where would that be then?
permalink the Pierhouse Hotel in Port Appin
doorstop fresh seafood with a sunset view of Lismore and Morvern. it's our favourite place, though, so don't want you or JoS going there and telling us it's not the best place in the universe because it is.
permalink Lovely.
I have never been but I shall bear it in mind should I end up around there...
permalink it's not really on the way to anywhere
(literally being at the end of the road, where the tiniest cutest little ferry serves the north of Lismore) but worth a detour, as the Michelins say
permalink I am partial to a langoustine, it has to be said.
In the event that I go, I will say nothing about it whatsoever.

Went to Kinloch Lodge a month or so ago, though, that was rather fab.
Two nights at L'Enclume next month as well, and then a summer of stale bread crusts and water until my bank account recovers.
permalink How the hell could anyone not like langoustine?
Or anything lobstery, for that matter?
permalink I prefer non lobster varieties
Mangosteen, as my keyboard had decided to call it, or crabs legs.
permalink Mangosteen is fruit
isn't it?
permalink Prawn in the USA?
permalink *applause*
permalink Yes
Purple on the outside, white in the middle and a bit bland.
permalink Well
it's certainly not lobster.
permalink No, it is how my 'phone decided to spell langoustine.
I should have said.
permalink I assumed it was an autocorrect issue
permalink Nightmares last night
Really gloomy today. Feeling guilty for it too.
permalink my daughter woke up last night screaming for her owl
it's a stuffed toy she played with once and has been in a basket since Christmas. It was fun trying to find it at 4am.

Don't worry about feeling gloomy. Go find something fun to do.
permalink I am shaking with the misery.
Things on my new pills have been much better, too.

I am not coping terribly well.
permalink I'm afraid all I can offer
is the advice to get a soft toy owl
permalink WOLS

message ends.
permalink And know
where it is.
permalink *applause*
permalink a valid and important point
permalink Hey, you sass that hoopy new_matt?
There's a frood who really knows where his owl is
permalink Oh, I say
Very good.