thread I'm on the Edinburgh to leeds train.. with pretty nifty wiffy
there is a rather jolly lady with a can of K cider and not enough teeth sitting opposite me. My fellow passengers are no doubt delighted to hear that she's going all the way to Bristol.

actually I'm perhaps being a bit mean, she seems nice enough..

the weather down the east coast has looked like a car advert, all dramatic clouds and occasional snows. edinburgh was lovely this morning.

ooo yay, she uses hands free headset on her phone QUITE LOUDLY
permalink You are allowed
to ask her to quieten down a bit...
permalink i've just done the british thing
...turned up my headphones and complained to the internet.

permalink if you're
on twitter, you might try @SoVeryBritish for Very British Problems.
permalink /r/britishproblems on reddit
is the appropriate place for such concerns
permalink depends on the music
surely, I am a grumpy old bastard most of the time but I like hearing music I love very loud :)
permalink I thought she was on the phone?
Anyway it's never, ever music you like.
permalink This
People who wear headphones on the tube are a fucking menace. They ALL think they are nice and quiet, but they are ALL pricks. And they walk out in front of bikes.

I never really understood iPods for walking - the world is fucking ace, why hide from it? When moving, take the bloody thing out of your ears and try to be a human for a bit.

You will all hate this position, I am sure.
permalink Well, I don't think you're right
not least because I've worn headphones on the tube and I haven't been a prick all the time. And I'm reasonably sure mine can't be heard, because I can't hear the music when I take them out.

But, some people are unwittingly pricks. And some people are wittingly pricks.
permalink Everyone thinks that they cannot be heard, but I can always hear them.
more importantly, they are no longer aware - they think they are, but making yourself voluntarily deaf in a situation where you need to interact with others is just odd.
permalink Well, that's London for you most of the time
headphones or no.
permalink I left for that reason.
If you do not interact then why live at all?
permalink She has a hands free headset?
And too few front teeth?
I didnt imagine that those two went together...
permalink she is my stapler
permalink well i think its one of the plug in ones you get with your phone
,....
permalink Ah, ok. I had pictured the toothless drunk with a Jawbone device or similar
talking to her financial advisor asking him to capitalise some of her portfolio for her
permalink *plays Jawbone and the Air Rifle
by teh Fall*
permalink you can still get K?
I had some bad nights on that at university.
permalink You certainly can
oh you mean cider.
thread Quiet in here innit
CI finally killed it?
permalink Shhhhh!
We're hunting wabbits.
permalink but it's duck season.
permalink I'm busy doing the stuff I've meant to get done for while
but not previously got round to. Having a month left is quite the motivator.
permalink I'm trying to turn a normalised database
into a denormalised reporting cube without an entity–relationship model.
permalink I've not heard it
called that before!
permalink QV is rubbish at handling complicated data models
I'm having to unlearn everything I know about relational DBs
permalink I have finally sent you
a bacefook message wrt ovens and Sundays.
permalink Facebook is being wanky, I'll have to wait til I get home to check it
`
permalink Talking of wanky
Skype have removed the "share screen" function from the Win8 version.
permalink well... they're Microsoft now, so they'll be assuming the culture...
fuck up the good stuff, keep the wank.
permalink I remember when they bought hotmail
and removed the pop3 functionality.
permalink I merged my skype and messenger accounts
I now have some cam-girl contantly spamming me with messages I can't fucking block.
permalink you merged your actual talking to people account with your wanking account?
schoolboy error.
:)
permalink I doubt you are running Windows RT
So install the desktop version and stop crying
permalink This is my developer in Colombia, he used his new laptop for the first time
just before a conference call.

I'm running Win 8, but with a shed-load of third-party stuff on top to turn it back into something vaguely resembling a proper UI. Took a while to cleanse all the shitty Start Screen stuff with fire, but I got there.
permalink i think that might be n3
We don't block fb but I have trouble getting to it at work.
Have you got another job or are you looking?
permalink I'm off work,
so I'm not spamming this 'board to the usual degree.

I am off on an absurd trip round Scotland tomorrow though.
We're planning to drive about 1300 miles in three days.
permalink that is an absurd trip
there isn't 1300 miles of scotland
permalink Well we're not starting in Scotland, as that would be tricky, what with us all being in England,
so I guess I was slightly inaccurate - it's a trip of 1300 miles, mostly in Scotland.

The route is approximately:
Chesterfield - Tebay Services (where I meet my comrades in true Top Gear road trip style) - Tain - sleep - John O'Groats - Ullapool (via devious route to be decided) - Fort Augustus - sleep - devious route west, returning to motorways via Lock Lomond sort of way - Chesterfield.

It will be interesting to see how much of the above is achievable in the current weather conditions. From what I can tell it's all mostly doable at the moment.
permalink the roads will be passable
but the further north you get, the less of them will be treated, which will make progress very slow, especially JoG - Ullapool. Definitely have a boot prepared for an overnight stay in a layby for anything north of Inverness
permalink my mate is cycling land's end to john o'groats over the next 10days
it's snowing and he's got cystic fibrosis.
permalink That is absurd.
John o'Groats was our original aim, as it seems like one has got to go there at some point.
However it's turned into a bit more of a thrash around some great roads.
There's three of us going, very eco-consiously in three cars.
permalink if you see a bloke wheezing along
it might be him, bung him a fiver for charidee.
permalink I if I bung every out of breath bloke on a bike a fiver,
it's going to be a very expensive trip.
permalink My colleague did some of the Yorkshire TdF route the other week
in the snow.
He was cursing is greatly.
permalink I can imagine
it's surprisingly hilly. I'm hoping to do Holme Moss before the end of the year, just need to shift a bit of spare weight. And get fit. And good at cycling.
permalink And a bike?
permalink I've got that
that's about all I have managed...
permalink He is good and fit and has no spare weight,
it was largely the snow that was the issue...
permalink I'm almost thinking of buying a turbo
though I reckon as long it is dry this weekend I'm going to ignore that it is cold and go for a couple of longer rides.
permalink i hate stationary bikes
though the only ones i've really used have been in the gym, i guess using a proper bike would be better.

permalink it looks like it's going to be lovely, just cold
I've got so much bloody decorating to do I'm not going to get out as much as I'd like, but I'm doing a long ride at least once.

I really like the turbo, once you get into the rhythm of using it as well as cycling I think it makes a real difference.
permalink do you have a turbo tyre?
and isn't it bit of a faf swapping tyre each time?
permalink coat the drum (probably wrong word) of the turbo in tarmac.
Sorted.
permalink me?
what have I done?

Back in the shed. Early start today, so I reckon it'll be about a 16 hour shift. Having gone somewhat mental at people here this morning and explained to them that they still haven't delivered us the system that we should have arrived to on Monday, and that if we have to come back next week they will personally be getting bill for about £5K, and that we're not the ones who are going to look stupid if it isn't finished when their queen comes to switch it on in two weeks... all of a sudden there are a lot of men in hi-viz running around.
permalink Two steps forward, one step back...
:(
permalink are you lighting a waltz competition?
...
permalink A 112m medieval clock tower
:)
permalink This: http://en.wikipedia.or...
As part of this: http://www.trajectumlu...

The last, most important part of it, to be switched on by the outgoing Queen of the Netherlands as her last official function in Utrecht in 10 days time. No pressure there then.
permalink I'm trying to deliver an improved version of an existing product
this is to be completed two weeks ago, I was given this project one week ago.
permalink everyone is busy manically laughing at http://animalsbeingdic...
I know I am
permalink Poor little kitty.
I enjoy animalsbeingdicks in general, but that little poppet is clearly disturbed and is in need of our help, not our mockery.

Perhaps it needs a big fuck off easter egg made out of different types of pork.
permalink Awesme.
`
thread Second night and the show is coming together...
We're sitting here in many layers of technical clothing with laptops and radios and all that, popping in and out of our shed depending what we need to see at the time.

Students are getting naked and running around the block.
permalink Pictures
or it didn't happen

edit: A TOTN for your little shed - Dead Voices On Air - The Durrow Book - http://youtu.be/n5P3XU...
permalink I just cooked a steak
and some home made wedges. It was nice.
Nobody was naked.

[Edit] I found out that I have won a trip to Edam this summer from a competition I entered at Ecobuild.
permalink I always find
steak tastes boiled when I try to cook it at home . . what am I doing wrong? (apart from boiling it)
permalink ....
Turning /moving it too much or not using a pan that is hot enoughn
permalink most supermarket steak has water added
so you probably are boiling it
permalink it can be a good idea to take it out of the pack and leave between some kitchen
roll for a while before you cook it.

there are all sorts of salting techniques to help this drying out but i've never tired therm
permalink Hot pan, only turn it once, other than that leave it alone!
[edit] I used to find this, its almost certainly a lack of searing heat that is ruining the flavour.
permalink Don't use one of those grills where the fat dribbles away.
`
permalink those kerasy Dutchers!
well, if any of the better looking ones look a little too cold...you can always offer to "warm them up in the shed"
permalink i thought he was in Newcastle?
....
permalink that was last week, no?
I think he's in Utrecht...although it is hard to keep up with C_I's peripatetic wanderings
permalink oh yeah... i'm not being a very good stalker.
....
permalink no, no you're not
*revokes stalking card*
permalink correct.
5.30 finish last night, probably similar tonight...

Must take shed photos.
permalink they were all blokes.
For the second lap, they had to carry ladders.
thread I need cash - anyone want a Nike+ Fuelband?
http://www.ebay.co.uk/...
permalink haha
fat fuck
permalink Yes, but I could diet,
whereas you will always remain a misguided tool.
permalink how so?
(and a pretty cheap appropriation there.. must try harder)
permalink Says the man who thinks anything the Tories do
is for the good of the country
permalink Haha!
I do not, I just do not think Labour is any better. In fact, I think they are worse, because they are hypocritical about it.

Politically I am actually very left wing.
permalink labour as shit as they are wouldn't have implemented the media attack
on immigrants and people out of work/disabled we're witnessing now.
if only ukip would join up with the green party we'd have some serious weirdness going on
permalink then of course there's far left fuckwits
such as the SWP, that currently has issues involving senior party members, rape and attempts to cover it up by bascially telling the allegedvictim that the party will sort out the complaint and that only a traitor to the cause would go to the police (or something like that). Which is alll very shit.

Basically, every political party is horrific apart from possibly Elvis Loves Pets.

(The green's keep swinging back towards anti-scientific views)
permalink i don't know what the palestenian for 'i love israel' is
but we should name our party that and take over the world sprinkling rainbows as we restore the earths climate to a liveable environment
permalink I think Palestinians
mainly speak Arabic? There's your starter.
permalink Attacking political beliefs?
How very sharp.
permalink and you siding with a
faux toff.. how regular
permalink Because I am a toff, or a faux toff?
Or a tory? Or posh?
permalink i just think you
fancy the accent
permalink I'm a big fan of
Welsh actually.
permalink i don't need to know
about your betting practises
permalink Not beliefs - actions
I respect (& agree on some things with) one-nation, social and progressive conservatives. Scum like the current cabinet pursuing reganite policies of asset-stripping the country for their own benefit and that of their cronies while blaming the poor & sick for things out of their control - and claiming to be doing it for their own good - can just fuck right off.
permalink Well fair enough.
permalink this
the fee paying schools that are switching to become state funded "Free Schools" whilst being allowed towrite admissions policies to help keep the riff raff out really fucks me off. Especially if they're fucking Steiner schools.
permalink this is a good one
http://www.bbc.co.uk/n...

now that royal has to get a real job
permalink fuck
one of my old friends is a navy S&R winchman at Prestwick
permalink It's OK
they're being allowed to apply for jobs in the new privatised, profit-driven service(!)

Odds on there being loss of seniority, pay, benefits etc?
permalink privatised coastguard
what can possibly go wrong?
permalink "come again.. hello.. yes very disraught
well there are two of us but we can only afford the one.. unless you take visa then my wifes son can titanic it"
permalink It'll be fine
I'm sure callmedave has had this assessed by experts.

It's not like the ASR duty has been used by the RAF & RN as a cost-effective way of training helicopter pilots to fly in some of the most hazardous conditions, thus providing a corps of experienced crews to support overseas operations or anything.
permalink I'm a bit more neutral on this
after all sea rescue is run entirely by a charity using volunteers.

Having all the helicopters under a single agency will surely make things a little bit easier, rather than the current situation where Coastguard, Navy and RAF all operate them
permalink I agree with this
but we do need to remember that we really are very poor at the moment and we need to save some or end up like Greece.

Being shit to us is kind of required.
permalink We are not poor, we are one of the richest countries in the world
we're just not collecting enough tax from those that can afford to pay, and spending what tax we do collect on the wrong things.

Corporation tax should be more rigorously pursued, the higher rate of income tax should be increased* and we should stop giving tax money to the failed private sector and use it to stimulate the economy properly.

(* this includes me)
permalink Why do people think that Corporation tax is a good idea?
Corporations are just people - increasing corporation tax is just going to cause inflation and frankly is just stealing anyway.

I have a solution, but nobody will like it.
permalink Don't want to increase it, just collect the proper amount
But go on, I've had a tough day , I could do with a laugh
permalink I do not really approve of corporation tax at all -
If you earn wages you pay tax on them, but if you earn money and are a business, you pay tax on your income as a business and then pay tax on it again when you get it.

Corporations are just lots of grandmas.
permalink that last statment
is an utter load of total massive bullshit.
permalink It was so far into utter cock territory
that I thought about replying to it, and just thought, no...fuck him
permalink particularly as he has it arse about face
corporate personhood (which originally comes from English law) means that a corporation has a legal identity distinct and separate from its directors and employees
permalink Banks own shares and we have our money in banks.
Corporations are not magical entities, they are just lots of investors.
permalink Because sole traders pay income tax on their earnings.
Why should the same profits be tax-exempt, just because you paid £40 to register a company?
permalink But those who make money from a corporation pay tax on their earnings
twice.
permalink Income tax rates on dividends are lower than tax rates on other forms of income.
You also get tax credits to set against the tax paid on dividends.

It's a system designed to make sure the overall paid on those profits is roughly the same as it would be for a sole trader.
permalink Indeed, it is
but the best way to handle it would be to tax it in exactly the same way, that way there would be no temptation to give breaks to corporations to keep them local.
permalink and me
I'm the last person who should be getting a tax break right now
permalink I have particularly feminine wrists
and don't think it'd fit
permalink This also is my problem,
that and I have better things to spend my money on, like an unhealthy quantity of food...
permalink what does it do?
/
permalink Measures the duration of your masturbation
...
permalink Plus the speed and calories lost
not including those ejaculated.
permalink proper first
LOL today.. i thank you
permalink well if you're to lazy (or someone else things you're too lazy)
to work out intake vs expenditure of kj
this will kind of give you a nod in the right direction
permalink the plastic charge goes off
if you buy anything adidas
permalink this ^ ^
permalink I'm in that situation myself.
Anybod want a Plantronics DSP-500 gemer headset? It's in good shape, only won't work with Windows XP and Logitech's new USB Dongle. *sigh*
permalink just answer the below question vvv
..
permalink The desert island disc one?
that will help?
permalink of course.. understanding the german mindset muvically
will determine how we fuckup our european relations (if i don't see the birth of CAN i'm out of here)
permalink The birth of CAN?
I think I've seen that video on youporn.

(yes, yes, I know: the band. Japanese fantasy language yodeling. Interesting, yes. Top 3: no.)
permalink haha
i meant the birthing of kraftwerk as we know them now rather than the hippy can-esque version they were
but a great CAN gig could do me.. like the one at the marquee just before it closed that blew everyone away
permalink I have a fitbit one
which is clearly much much better than Nike's offering.
thread here's a ToTN for c_i while he plays with torches in the cold
https://www.youtube.co...

in a desert island discs style question 'what are your 3 favourite acts/bands of all time*
i think i know my bands (virgin prunes / e.n. / j.d.)
but watching john lennon getting shot repeatedly would really cheer me up
and i could watch fat elvis for ever.. tough decision

*this will allow you to time travel to any specific gig/record launch/band practise/breakup/death that has occurred
permalink I am assuming that
EN = Einsturzende Neubauten?
JD = Joy Division?

pretty fucking difficult to choose top three bands/acts...too many to think of...but, if I had to choose three

The Fall - assuming you could guarantee one of their good gigs...also pre '86 line up
Cardiacs - obviously to be in the crowd for the Maresnest gig, with the classic line up
Talking Heads - around Stop Making Sense, but earlier would be fine



permalink assuming correct.. but it's the TT that makes it interesting
would i rather be there with neubauten practising in that tiny concrete bunker or throw my panties at elvis?

hanging out with talking heads at that film gig besides byrne means bumping into blondie..
the fall i love to pieces but dealing with him in person is a real pain in the arse
(actually time travel you'd know which was a good gig)
cardiacs.. would the best moment be seeing that gig or watching them invent a song or creating their name or driving their nan to the bingo?
permalink hey it was difficult enough
coming up with 3 bands/approximate gig eras!
permalink okay i've changed my mind
blondie meeting warhol for the first time

vliet realising the desert was his home and fuel

brian jones and gysin lisetening to the master musicians of Joujouka
permalink nah drop the last one
i still want to witness/go through ian curtis' death again
permalink I hear The Fall as being musically cretinous
I will never get them. They just sound like they don't know what they are doing. They play horrible notes which don't go together. This is of course why people like them. I however, like things to be polished and well played. It just sounds like a fire in a pet shop to me
permalink I think the atonality
in Fall songs is very deliberate
permalink Yeah but it's wrong
atonality can be right, it takes skill which they don't have
permalink Besides none of their tunes are truely atonal
They are just incorrect. The tonal centre is always obvious as they aren't exactly good composers. They are just playing wrong. Bits of bitches brew are atonal. To even play atonally you need to understand how to not create any harmonic grounding. This can be in itself difficult. if you were to play whole tone or diminished you are technically atonal.
permalink i've always seen 'the fall' as a backdrop
to mark E smiths lyrics.. i like anti-music so that sits well with me
you and tabz are the technical musical ones here so you can argue the point
are sonic youth atonal?
permalink I have no idea, not really remembering anything about them other than the fact they use drills
primus are at times if that helps.
permalink you either love or hate the Fall
what I like most is that the first time you hear a Fall song, it is quite obviously them, even if it sounds completely different to everything else they've done.

Tabz is right probably, they can also do really polished pop songs when they want to.
permalink In other news
THANK FUCKING CHRIST FOR THAT!!!*

and relax...


*this may have something to do with cricket
permalink We did not deserve that
Monty did right to get off point though.
permalink bollocks we didn't
a fine battling draw, that was

they have done it to us before...
permalink cook...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/s... I thought we were dead !
permalink It was fantastic, but lucky.
Only the third time it has been done, ever.
permalink That is to say that
it is only the third time in Test cricket that a team has gone into the final day of a match with four wickets down and avoided defeat.
permalink top 3? crikey
pixies and talking heads I listen to pretty consistently, then half man half biscuit might sound twee but they'd be up there, Fall or the Wedding Present would be in the mix, but British Sea POwer would be making a late charge on the rails, don't know. leave it with me.
permalink Hard one to call
Killing Joke, Cardiacs, and either Oceansize or Porcupine Tree I'd guess

This list would change on a daily basis though
permalink it's just as much about the 'event' as the band
c'mon you have to have one involving JAZ!
permalink Killing Joke
& Cardiacs would always be on the list
permalink for fear of making you all laugh too much and therefore
not get enough work done today I will resist from listing mine
permalink i'm pretty sure i'd like yours the best
(i don't know that much about 20's flapper music)

permalink ok, these are the ones that influenced me greatly and I still listen to them
Jackson Browne - The Pretender
Elton John - Goodbye yellow Brick Road
King Crimson - In The Court of the Crimson King

Edit: mind you, the latter half of the 70's was spent in a smoke fuelled haze
permalink It's ok, I've listed mine.
`
permalink ta
permalink I really don't know. Garbage definitely,
possibly Sheryl Crow and Skunk Anansie for the other two. But then I might end up really miserable, maybe I should swap Crow out for something a bit more cheery like B*Witched or the original S Club.
permalink crow vs s. club
no contest i thought their tv show was great
permalink can't think who the third one would be
But if I go back to my teens when I was really nerdy about making lists of top 10 bands and then see which ones I still like that would be: Early A-ha and the Neffs for the top two.
permalink ooh ooh I know this
1. Tom Waits
2. Alabama 3
and

erm

erm

erm

bugger that last one is hard to pin down, i've got a thing at the moment for Imelda May but I think that might be a passing fad. i like them crooked vultures but they've only done one album.
wait, that's it

the queens of the stone age.
permalink but at what point? tom waits realising he sounded like
a bad rip-off of billy joel and started to chug cigars like a diesel or the time he was in a flooded basement recording Bone Machine?
permalink my favoirite tracks are
MR Siegal, when the money runs out, make it rain and heart attack and vine so it looks like early 80s.
permalink we supported Alabama 3 a couple of years back
in Brixton
permalink nice one
i must have seen them five or six times but all oop north, their weakest tour for me was a few years back when they did a load of remixes.
permalink it was quite an afternoon/night/morning
I can tell you
permalink I'd fucking love to see Queen
when they were at their imperial peak.
permalink i saw them early 80's
my dad took me.. it was awesome
permalink lucky fucking bastard
seriously
permalink Well, the top of the top always be bands singing in my mother tongue
So, not that it's of any use for you guys but here are my top 3:

- Tom Liwa (Singer/Songwirter I had a major boy-crush in around the 00's)
- Dendemann (Rapper with German language skills beyond the human domain)
- Element of Crime (This band is about sadness. In a cheeky way.)
permalink the last one are disgustingly polite
music wise.. i imagine you'd want to be in their green room while they dissed merkel or something
permalink EoC are the closest thing to chansons Germany has.
It's not about fucking the system, it's about lost love.
permalink Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
Led Zepellin 2 - erm led zeppelin
Stevie Wonder - Inner Visions
permalink time travel and you come up with that?!
no LZ private plane frollicks or wonder hair gags?
permalink If I had a plane what would I be doing stuck on a desert island?
permalink probably giving yourself etc
permalink Kind of blue is great.
Maybe Blue Monk too (TM)