thread Shit
Jeff Hannerman has died


TOTN - Slayer - Seasons In The Abyss -
permalink fuck fuck fuck fucking FUCK.
*epic sadface*

Aw man :(
permalink "Epic Sadface"
Great Peel Session, etc
permalink fuck.. fucking spider the little bastard
permalink Boo
In funnier news WI dress up as pirates for talk by man held captive by Somalian pirates haha
permalink there seem to be
a lot of dead people
permalink I can see them
permalink Morning. Just been to the dentist
so half my face is numb.
permalink top half or bottom half?
numb moustache, terrible.
permalink Top left.
I'm numb from my lip to my eye socket.
permalink Today my face is hurting
from all the injections I had in my jaw yesterday.
thread Meanwhile
the Bryan Ferry Orchestera doing Beyoncé's "Crazy in love" with Emilé Sande on vocals in a 1920's Jazz style.

Yes, all of that. I'm not sure either. It's for the soundtrack to the Great Gatsby which has been Baz Luhrmann-ed. Bryan Ferry has done the soundtrack.
permalink how's the new job going?
oh sorry, thought you were cj
permalink Harsh!
. .
permalink But fair.
Emile Sande? Really?
permalink ^this^
permalink True
she is seemingly everywhere these days
permalink She's beaten the Beatles
at 53 weeks in the album charts. Or something.
permalink they mentioned it
on BBC Breakfast like it was really important. I was all like, "who?"
permalink I was all like 'whoa'
and OMG :P
permalink at least it confirms british taste of popular music
hasn't improved
permalink y'know
Sgt Pepper and all that?
permalink she seems to be
mandatory for some fucking reason
permalink She's this year's
Michael McIntyre/Lily Allen/Dido/Tony Slattery so hopefully she'll be gone in 24 months tops.
permalink wasn't quite
endorsing it
permalink ok employment experts
I've been asked to complete a myers briggs test for some thing that someone is happening at our team meeting (most of us have)

I don't want to
1- am I just being silly or is this really as bulshit as I think
2- can I reasonably / legally refuse?
3- shall I just get someone else to fill it in (my cat for instance)
permalink The Myers-Briggs test isn't recognised as being scientifically valid
I think if you are already employed then this is not a reasonable test of capability and, as such, is irrelevant.

Just do it though, only make a fuss if negatives occur because of it.
permalink seconded.
I was asked to do one when I took my current job. Just suck it up and do it.You're not weird enough to flag anything alarming.

If you were Rigby, I'd give different advice.
permalink Involving a noose?
permalink i could easily hogtie you
fat boy
permalink No,
no you could not.
permalink MB is utter bullshit
and also really simple to game to give any answer you want.
permalink The one time it's been suggested at work
was more as a pretext to be able to discuss one of the senior managers' crippling inability to actually manage a team. the rest of us wouldn't have minded if it was the price to pay for getting to vent.
permalink that sounds familiar
permalink I've done it three times, and got three different results
which either suggests the test is bollocks or I'm a total psychopath.
permalink It's conceivable
that both are true.
permalink I quite like that
apart from the bits when she is singing...and not a patch on the Elbow cover of Independent Women (by Des's Tiny Child)

AQ: it has come around to new PC time, not that the old one is dead yet, but has done great service for the past 8/9 years...these days, is it worth getting Win 7* professional, rather than Win 7 home premium? There is a surcharge, and I can never work out what extra bells and whistles one gets...for home use on a small network only

*clearly I am not touching Win 8 with a 20' bargepole
permalink with Pro you can download
'XP Mode' for free, lets you run stuff in an XP sandbox if it won't run on Win7. Of course if you've got a valid XP disc you can install VirtualBox for free and do it that way too, but hey.
permalink hrmm
doesn't sound like anything I'd need, and it is an extra $100 (that's about £45 to you lot)...
permalink The key difference I always reckoned was
that Pro allowed you to join a domain, but that Home Premium contained Windows Media Centre.
Ultimate does both.
thread I woke up this morning with my daughter running in because the garden was full of men
She had been feeding the chickens and there were 4 men there - they were plain clothed policemen and I threw them out, but fuck, man.
permalink what the blithering fuck?
why on the fucking earth were there four plain clothes police in your garden? I really hope you've managed to get a fucking explanation from them and an apology.
permalink if they were plain clothes
how did she know? they couldjust have been four blokes looking at his cabbages.
permalink Red cabbages
Manley is an under cloche spy
permalink I knew, because I was in the garden faster than you can say something long.
I threw them out. One of them was Bolshevik at me, so I just told him and his mate to leave and I spoke to the other two, in the street (this was my wholey enclosed back garden) who are apparently looking for a man. They were apologetic, but I was (and am) livid.
permalink they're not very good at the undercover thing if they were obvious while hanging around
your place yesterday
permalink They have just come back again. They said "He is only making things worse for himself"
I asked whether avoiding the police was a crime now. They left.
permalink who are they looking for exactly?
Their question to you implies they think you know where the felon is
permalink Indeed.
Have you checked all your sheds?
permalink I have - I let them check too.
I do know the chap, but not closely. They intimated that they think he is in one of my sheds or outhouses, but he just is not.
permalink Do you know what he did?
(or is alleged to have done)
permalink Are you sure
they're not after you?
permalink Yes.
They have just been back again. They say they will continue pestering me, every night and morning, and get a warrant if they need one, until they find him.

So I shall be popping down to the sty later to register a complaint.
permalink If you've let them check once,
they are then free to post bobbies outside your properties to ensure that the geezer doesn't come in, then they diidn't harass you repeatedly.

Therefore it seems reasonable for you to let them in as you have initially but to request that they return with a warrant thereafter.

I'd have thought this easily counts as harassment by now, particularly if their tone is as it comes across in your posts.
permalink You do realise referring to a police station as a sty
makes you sound like an absolute nob?
permalink I thinkt his is probably OK,
given his daughter has just been distressed by an illegal search.
permalink Provincial plod

I have a mental image of them being like the plain clothes cops in Hot Fuzz
permalink I think it's notable that Mr Manley has been absent from here for a while.
He could be actually working, or he could have been taken away for obstructing the course of the police's inquiries (into the best place to get doughnuts in Dawlish).
permalink T'is ironic
I would not say it in real life.
permalink Alright, listen up, people.
Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and engineless van in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Go get him.
permalink When you got to the "henhouse, outhouse" bit,
I was expecting you to kick off a rendition fo Nutbush City Limits.
permalink it's the legs isn't it
permalink phwoar!
permalink I love these
tales from political campaiging
permalink I would have voted for Clare Blair
but only because of her name.

We've had none, the tories are a shoo-in in the villages because none of the poor people bother to vote. I should mobilise the underclasses, but I can't be arsed if Labour can't. Even UKIP don't bother.
permalink Sawston you'd have though
should be fertile ground for Labour. Local politics is hopeless.
permalink You'd think, given the amount of council tenants it would be, but there's too many old people
give it 10 years when they all die, assuming we can get some middle class people in, and we'll be laughing.
permalink We've had none because we're not having an election.
There was a superb moment on the Today programme this morning when the presenter asked a lib dem why they hadn't put candidates up in some areas in liverpool where they'd won not too long ago, and it was asked in quite a condescending manor.

The lib dem said "There are no elections in Liverpool this time."
permalink Just went to Sainsburys
permalink bread knob
or bread middle finger?
thread for those of you not on bacefook,
this is all you need to know today: in Grimsby there's an estate agent called LOVELLE BACONS'

That's almost as good as the possibly ex-solicitor company in Bradford called 'brown, muff & co'
permalink I used to love the solicitors in Reading called
Vanderpump and Wellbelove

[edit] awesome, they still exist

permalink Oddly there are solicitors in Enfield
called Vanderpump & Sykes - http://www.vanderpumpa...

Must be a family thing

TOTN - Slint - Washer -
permalink I always liked to imagine
Vanderpump and Wellbelove as a pair of slightly porny action stars...
permalink Whilst Vanderpump & Sykes
introduces a comedy element

Also: This is great -
permalink Cor blimey, Mary Vanderpump!
permalink no i'm pretty sure
they're the fluffers (aka FF and thebear)
permalink no need for fluffers these
days. Viagra innit.
permalink is it?
*makes notes*
permalink did you see iggy (and the stooges) on the colbert report?
his leg looks pretty fucked up

also love the yeahYEAHyeah's thing on bbcplayer with the elvis (smattering of bowie) bowie thing and the final song suprise
permalink no, that would involve
turning the telly on for more than 5 mins after a day in Grimsby. I've recorded 10 o'clock live.

I saw Iggy & Stooges the other year at Sonishphere, he said 'we're Iggy & the Stooges and we're not dead yet"'. Fucking go Iggy :)

or even James Jewel Osterberg. Could it be pedantic wednesday?
permalink do you have a link
to the latter thing?
permalink jools show.. 2nd song and the last.. the rest i flicked through (fucking awful)
permalink new plan
elections every single year, as happens in much of England, is a fucking dumb idea. Lets go the other way. Lets have elections once every five years. All of them. UK Parliament (both houses). Local councils (I'd make them all unitary with new super-regions a bit like the London Assembly). The English Parliament I'd introduce. Scottish Parliament, Welsh and Northern Irish Assemblies. European Parliament. British President.

Get the rest of Europe to join in as well. Maybe spread the voting window over a few days.
permalink by the way, my idea is dumb
too. Just fed up of council elections every fucking year
permalink council elections every 3 yrs
at the moment it's get in the job honeymoon 3 months of new lobbyists blah blah 3 months of actual work on issues then 6 months of preparing campaign for next year
permalink in London
it is very four isn't it? In two tier councils it mainly goes district, district, district, county with a break for general electiosn, so a five year cycle, though some run other cycles, unitaries do other things and bascially the whole fucking thing is a mess.

Scottish parliament and scottish councils are both supposed to be every four years (though this is being fucked up by the coalition deciding to have UK elections on a fixed five year pattern)
thread Mrs HP has banned me from posting this on Facebook
So I'm sharing it here instead. She had a dream last night.

I could ejaculate hot custard. We constantly had a stream of people coming to our door with their puddings, for me to spaff custard onto. We charged them £10 per squirt.

A dolphin with a baseball cap moved in next door to us. Rather than bringing pudding round, I'd just squirt the custard straight into his mouth.
permalink *almost falls off chair laughing*
thank god the office door was closed...

there is blog, if not a book in these dreams. She is a superstar of the odd dream world. The custard spaffing was more than enough, the dolphin was the icing on the cake
permalink the dolphin
was the custard on the pudding
permalink As it were
whenever I get accused of having weird dreams by Mrs C, I always remind her of some of Mrs hp's
permalink marvellous
good work the mrs.
permalink Crème Anglaise?
No Crème on demand

permalink can we have her blog address or just photos of her
dream journal.. you could sell this shit to david lynch for multiple cups of coffee and PIE real pie.. cherry pie.. sweet and sour n your lips with CREAM

permalink I love her.
That may be the best yet.
permalink i read that as
"my MP" to which i thought it would be quite right to not post it. Having re-read i still find it ok.

My missus asked me last night where she could get a flask for cold drinks, if such a thing did indeed exist.