thread I'd like you all to know
Tiexano is a great guide for cities that he's visited. We did the nemo today and it was great.
permalink I wish I'd be in Amsterdam as well.
It's been far to long since I've been there. Good to hear you guys have fun in my place, though.
permalink Totally having fun. Warn out completely
Every single day. Took a long boat ride this morning before going to the nemo this afternoon. We should have some great photos when we get back. Scotty is keeping to his 35mm lens on his Leica. I've got a wide lens on the Fuji to get all the buildings in.
permalink Excellent work!
Glad you're having fun. Amsterdam is a cool city.
permalink Seen this?
permalink :)

I doubt I'll be specifying any though.
permalink If you are in Amsterdam you might want to take a quick trip to Utrecht for food
It's very pretty, a small train journey from schipol International and really nice for bistros. You can get some gorgeous food there for dirt cheap
permalink I like Utrecht a lot.
Lovely place.
permalink even I've
been there. Bet it hasn't changed much since the 90s.
thread Ooops
One of our outsource resources just got himself fired by photoshopping a fake email to try to prove he'd done something when he hadn't - and getting caught.
permalink lesson 1: don't get caught
permalink Whoops!
You've got to be pretty stupid to think you'd get away with that though

Edit - I'll throw TOTD in here - Isis - False Light -
permalink Well, to be fair, I could get away with it,
but I would not use photoshop and, if I did, I would do it well.
permalink Unless you have full control of both ends e-mail logs,
it doesn't seem like it would ever work.
permalink if you knew anyone was looking that close
then trying was stupid
permalink Well surely if something contractual hinges on the time an e-mail was sent,
or indeed whether it was sent, even a moron would think to check e-mail logs.

I know I've done it in the past.
permalink I assumed he changed the content of an email not
that it was sent...and that it was something pretty minor...
permalink Nope, he never sent an email he was supposed to
then claimed he did & did a photoshop of a screenshot to prove it. Quick look in the logs said he didn't.
permalink similarly when I was suspended for swearing
if I'd have meant to have done it they wouldn't have been able to prove it was me.
permalink Oh yes, if they looked,
but I'd just have sent it to myself, then I'd forward it on with the text changed and wonder why it was not in their inbox - of course, I always make a point of befriending sys admins.
permalink doing that was stupid
doing it and getting caught, is really stupid
permalink In not dissimilar office based happenings,
the HP service engineer has arrived.
permalink I hope he knows
whose dogs they are
permalink Fantastic
I hope he has alook and says, "ah... you've got the DogJet printer virus."
permalink what did i miss?
permalink Here:
permalink Okay I am going to say this is a PHP thing.
If you add ?=PHPE9568F36-D428-11d2-A769-00AA001ACF42 to the end of any PHP page you get a pair of dogs.

May not work on all versions of php, but is true.
permalink An example (although I am getting an elephant instead of two dogs for this one)
permalink well
well I never.
permalink bring it
I CAN do geography under pressure, level 2 was by far the worst

permalink I can too

although I thought that Edinburgh was East of Bristol and only got past that one by hitting the wrong button by mistake.
permalink that was one of my pub factoids
now I can't go for a drink until I find a replacement
permalink best said as
Order the uk Capital Cities in order from east to west, people get cardiff and edinburgh the wrong way round
permalink I once went north to England on holiday
this was very exciting
permalink Cardiff is West of Edinburgh
permalink If you look on a "map" (some are available at
you'll see that it's not as clear cut as you thought.
I suspect the answer may vary depending on the map projection, but I'm guessing that using lat/long for the centre of each city, Edinburgh is in fact west of Cardiff.
permalink Cardiff:
permalink I looked at a few maps - it damn well looks like Cardiff is West
happy with the lats though.
permalink the UK grid is a bit odd
and weather maps are all tilted
permalink It's really difficult
to find a map of the UK which points north straight up (from my brief research)
permalink Edinburgh:
permalink Bloody Nora!
This quite blew my mind.
permalink indeed.
That's well wampy, that is. Everyone I asked at work scoffed too.
permalink what is 0.06degrees
in miles?
permalink About 3
permalink so they're basically in the same place?
permalink nowt to do with projections
people just forget that the country is quite tilted that way, and that there's a big sort of S-bend comprising the border region.
permalink lookee
Dawlish is in the news

permalink See also,
Krakatoa: East of Java.
permalink so can I
though if you want to get to the "win" screen tedious has put the usual cheat code in
thread Good morning!
I have woken up entirely deaf in my left ear. I am going slowly insane, but I cannot see a doctor, because we have this stupid 'call in the morning and see if you are lucky enough to get an appointment' system, which means you can theoretically never get to see a doctor.

Why is not hearing so maddening?

Should I stick the hoover in my head?

Hash browns or black pudding?
permalink My answers are as follows, in order:
Why not both?
permalink Oh, obviously both
but if not?
permalink Hmm. Tricky.
It depends on context. If I was making a sandwich, black pudding, but if I was accompanying a sausage and some bacon, obviously some carbs are needed, so hash browns.
permalink As an aside,
I would always take white pudding or hogs pudding over black pudding.
permalink if you have neurological problems you should make it quite clear to them
that you expect an appointment today. then just go and stand in reception until they see you.

having just changed jobs, I've realised it's not the company I was fed up with, it is the actual work. what else can I do that will pay lots? I know about words and that, would prefer to work at home/in Cambridge.

I don't really get hash browns, just overly fancy potatoes.
permalink are my only client in Cambridge.
Hash browns are awesome - I fucking love 'em.
permalink Oh, and not a neurological problem -
I am going insane with the not hearing - I mean, yes, I am going insane as well, but that is unrelated.
permalink didn't explain my self properly
sudden deafness can be a neurological problem linked to damage to the auditory nerve, I know three people that have gone suddenly deaf in one ear recently with varying degrees of seriousness of cause. most of the time it's nothing and is probably just gunk from an infection, but it can be serious and you should get it checked out as soon as you can.
permalink Okay.
I shall try and get an appointment again on Friday.
permalink I've just thought of a fourth,
hers was delightfully gunky and unpleasant...

I think this probably is one of those 'yeah, see a doctor' things. anything remotely brainy or nervy is worth speaking to someone proper about.
permalink what did NHS direct say?
( if it was "nothing" try holding the phone on the other side of your head)

I think hash browns,unless i was in a really classy place where in knew the black pudding was going to be top notch
permalink I did not call NHS direct -
they cannot diagnose anything based on such a pitiful amount of data 'I cannot hear' so they will just send me to a quack and I cannot get an appointment - I am going bonkers here.
permalink they might send you to a&e
permalink ^this
do call NHS direct. This is what they are good for - getting you to see a doctor quick if your symptoms might be a flag for anything serious.
permalink does it still
exist? I thought it was being wound down.
permalink I thought so too
which is why I didn't suggest it

we're keeping it up here, so an alternative quick way to see a doctor would be to move to scotland and then call.
permalink It's 111 now,
but essentially does the same thing, it's just been tendered out to non-nhs companies.
permalink Many classy places find black pudding to be alien.
I regularly breakfast at this place (as I have a discount as part of my tenancy):
Anyway, they don't know how to cook it, you have to specifically request it be cooked long enough to get slightly crunchy edges.
permalink ohand obviously haggis is better
than black pudding
permalink I concur entirely
Hogs pudding trumps them all.
permalink I confess I don't believe I have had hogs pudding.
However, I do find a slice of haggis and a slice of black pudding is an excellent combo.
permalink Hogs pudding is just like the best ever white pudding
and I rate white pudding over the other two - Black pudding comes last (but is still lovely).
permalink Go to the chemist
and buy some ear drops - tell them what the problem is as well just in case they have something useful to tell you.
permalink I have done this.
Oh God! I have hydrogen peroxide in my ear now. I am in serious pain.
permalink On someone's advice
or just because?
permalink this is completely unrelated to the chemist isn't it?
it's just another 'Oh, Manley!' moment...
permalink Oh
permalink On the plus side
Blond ear hair!
thread does anyone remember the pub I met some of you near saffron walden
made memorable by Al throwing up and is getting chucked out

Witchy and I think mushybees was there

permalink OK So I think it was this place

but I could be wrong. anyone know any other pubs with huge gardens
permalink i havent been to safforn walden since i was about 10
i guess my invite was lost in the post :(
permalink wasn't near Walden. It was
near Hertford
permalink *looks at map*
Watton at Stone even
it may have been the George & Dragon
permalink I believe it was,

I reckon we'd get back in there now. It's been a while :)
permalink That's entirely correct.
I never dared go back, it was a significant factor in me deciding to move north.
permalink that's the puppy
permalink JoS will remember
I only remember I couldn't make it for some reason (maybe an Al puking premonition)
permalink thee, me, bees,
Al, JoS. Just looking at the pix now :)

*edit* over 3 years ago!
permalink is that the one that will be on the TdF route?
permalink honestly, these young people just can't take their ales
permalink 'person'
he was the only one.... i think cider might have been involved as well
permalink I think the culprit was the cans of G&T he pre-loaded on the train really.
He was somewhat the worse for wear when I picked him up in Stevenage before we even started.
thread I just shat a big data startup
I'm not even sure what one is but it just came out, out of my bottom. It's strange because I can't remember eating a big data startup and I've been living on tesco sausage rolls and pineapple chunks diet for over a month now.

I still don't know what it does. What is a big data startup?
permalink Just flush it
and forget it ever happened
permalink Well... it's clearly made of tesco sausage rolls and pineapple chunks
This is the first hard fact we have on the issue!
permalink It's left me with the urge to use the word leverage
more often regardless whether it is actually necessary. Leverage.
permalink I do not mind people using leverage to mean leverage,
but when they want to leverage something I just want to shout 'LEVER!' at them.
permalink no idea
but I'll give you £10m for it
permalink I'd buy BloomReach for £10m
at the drop of a hat
permalink Every time I hear a hat drop I get the immediate urge
To wank in it
permalink Hell I didn't even vote for it
Not that I have any clue what it does
permalink What I don't understand is
how can it be a big data startup?
Surely one must start out as a small data startup, then become a medium data limited company and eventually a big data public company?
permalink by correctly leveraging synergy, duh
permalink What about effectively synergising
the backward overflow?
permalink I had a realistation that Dilbert wasn't all that funny
kept reading it anyway, then it turned out the guy that writes it is a right wing arsehole.
permalink I used to really like the animated series
I watched it on crackle recently and I thought it was pretty funny
permalink I think "big data" means a company which handles lots of data
and "startup" means it's new. Putting them together I conclude that a "big data startup" is a brand new company which will take lots of money from very big companies without having a track record of success, which will result in the owners of the big data startup becoming very rich without having to actually do anything (other than run away at the end).
permalink *waves*
S'kinda what we do

Just signed up loads of big investment banks and property investors
permalink on the other hand... could be wikileaks.
permalink in buzzword terms
big data is the art of compiling and analysing misleadingly large datasets in order to come to the pre-determined conclusion that the government dept/bank/marketing group wish to wave a shiny commissioned report about
permalink upvote
permalink This is exceptionally accurate.
Because of this I am shying away from using the words big data, although we do handle massive amounts of data in an intelligent way.

We are basically a Search Engine company with a load of ex-Google engineers (including the guy who wrote the Google product algorithm) and we process massive amounts of data to assign relevancy scores.

In real terms we make a fuckton of money for you, if you are big enough that you can make use of us in scale. (actually, we could probably help anyone, but we cannot afford to do the engineering work if you are too small - like an accountant at a paper-round).
permalink well yes
I do think big data has a fairly straightforward meaning in IT, and that it's been misappropriated by analytics/BI companies who want to sound cool

not that analytics companies can't also be applying their techniques to big data, it's just that they are entirely separate things.
permalink Agreed.
We use Big Data to inform a language model which works with another Big Dataset, to make some sort of practical sense of it.
permalink Anyone know much about phone sockets?
I've just had a look at my telewest master socket and it only has two wires going in. I know the ringer gets split from this somewhere inside the socket.

I would like to replace this rather ancient socket with something shiny and new. Will buying something which calls itself a 'master socket' allow me to do this, or is the two-wire in thing non-BT?
permalink the master socket does not belong to you
not that doing stuff to it is difficult, but just to be aware that if you enbugger anything you'll get charged a hell of lot to fix it.
permalink (a) What meep said,
and (b) why?
permalink Because it looks rubbish
and I'd like something that matches the other sockets and switches.
permalink I believe the two wire thing
is standard.

Isn't a normal POTS (plain old telephone system) just two twisted pairs?

edit: Sorry, just a single twisted pair I think.

edit2: Think I was right first time, british sytems use either 4 or 6 wires, with only 2 or 3 being typically in use.
permalink Ta for the link.
I need an NTE5 master socket. They all look the same but I think I'll get a new one anyway as my current one is old and discoloured.
permalink Apply limes?
Does anyone know if global DNS caches routes or addresses. We've just moved a DNS entry and it's going to take a while to propagate but when I tracert the address it reaches the server which should be repointed already and then sends me to the wrong server. I really hate central DNS propagation it's scary as it can take ages to move and all the changing of host files etc doesn't really make me any less worried
permalink Shit it out of your arse.
Should work.
permalink Way ahead of you
permalink I worked it out with a slide rule
to maximize leverage
permalink Excellent work
Did you extend the holistic synergy vision while you were at it?
permalink My eyes watered a bit
Does that count as a vision?
permalink Might be a paradigm for fundamental process change...
permalink I don't really understand DNS
but find when you make changes it goes a bit weird for a few hours then everything sorts itself out
permalink Well yes
I've set up 301 redirection on all old urls on the new version so that everything redirects to the correct new version but it's been a massive headache. Damn you SEO
permalink All DNS servers cache locally
which is why the name service providers say it could take up to 24 hours for your shiny new domain to be fully accessible. Normally it's only a couple of hours though.
permalink yeah I kind of knew that
It's just a bit odd that it reaches the name server then redirects incorrectly. Who knows though. I'm just working myself up for no good reason really
permalink In an unexpected turn of events,
our wide format printer has developed an issue, whereby it unexpectedly prints a small black and white photograph of two Alsatians.
We now have about a dozen such pictures, and both HP and IT are at a loss to explain it.
permalink That sounds like a rather
specific type of fault . . . does anyone recognise the dogs?
permalink Not apparently.
However, I believe it is possible to print to any printer in any office throughout the company, so I reckon it's someone in our sales office in Truro or somewhere, desperately trying to print a picture of their dogs, and can't work out what's going on.

I do love not being responsible for this sort of thing any more, but surely IT could just check the print logs to find out who's printed it...
permalink Boring solution.

Print more dog pictures to every printer in the company.
permalink I'm biding my time.
Tomorrow: whippets.
permalink Start small
with chihuahua's . . work up to a rasterised great dane over 30 sheets of paper
permalink Designjets are roll-fed...
so you can make custom sheet-sizes several metres long by the roll width.

So one could start with a short dachsund, then make it longer every day... same height, just longer and longer body, until you're using a whole 45m roll...
permalink This is all true,
but a 45m dachsund is sure to make someone sit up, take notice and check the print logs.
permalink Worth it though
permalink For sure.
permalink last day
with a new contract already signed elsewhere
permalink Is there a punchline?
Love the setup...
permalink hang on... it just sank in...
Did someone actually call this in to HP?

"Hello, er, yes... our Designjet keeps printing photos of dogs. Is this covered under the warranty?"
permalink I don't know about that,
but we have a maintenance contract with a local HP service provider,
and it really wouldn't surprise me if it hadn't been phoned in.

My colleague reported it to IT, and he's out this afternoon so we haven't been able to mock him. If IT have any sense, they'd have ignored him, his IT issues are usually PEBKAC.
permalink or
permalink I'm considering talking to IT
to see if it would be possible to cancel every print he sends and replace it with a random dog.
permalink or dogging