thread Aaaah, Friday evening.
I'm sitting on the sofa with Mrs HP and the cats, drinking wine. Mrs HP fell asleep. And we all know what happens when Mrs HP falls asleep...

I decided to wake her, as it's far too early to be asleep. I did so by inserting a finger into her ear. Her response was to scream, sit bolt upright, and yell "It's a chicken!"

permalink well, was it a chicken?

I am doing my hackney to suffolk cycle ride today.. 114 miles startign a 9pm. it should be fun though i have a niggly tendon on my left ankle so that might be intersting.

/better start eating pasta
permalink I can recommend
not twanging said tendon
permalink I'll try
I expect with cycling it'll be a slow process rather than a twang.

permalink Starting at nine?
I hope you didn't miss it. There were crowds of cyclists going past the flat just after eight.
/lives down the road from the start
permalink yeah in the end we started just after 8 as it was heaving

The tendon was fine, the problem was that I twanged my back on the way to the start and could sit on the bike fine but could not stand up straight after 30 miles.

took me 10.5 hours including breaks in the end, the weather at the end was pretty shitty but it was still pretty awesome

permalink Tabz?
Mel Smith died
permalink blimney
permalink Hahaha
Chemtrails Awareness have blocked me from commenting on their Facebook page....must have been because I called them idiots and pointed out if they were poisoning us they'd hardly write it in the sky....
permalink you're kidding,
that's actually a thing? Are these people ment...oh.
permalink Sorry about that
I was after Griff . . .
permalink pfft...mind you
I think most people would react weirdly to being woken by a finger in the ear

so, of course, as we are away on holiday (currently Costa Brava)...all hell is kicking off back home in NZ:
permalink Are you back to the UK at all?
I am in the process of moving house but I should be able to take an evening off that
permalink Nah, a frayed knot
We are in Catalonia until Saturday (I think, must check)...then we start making our way home (via a night in Shanghai)
permalink bum
I guess I missed you then
permalink I'm back in the UK
been in France for two weeks. I like France
permalink cycling?
permalink Between the sailing
I was in Brittany for a World Championships. With a European Championships for a warm up. Also went to see the TdF stage finish at St Malo. Missed the crash, as 50m from the finish was too close to the line to see the action.
permalink random bits:
on the ferry home we used the Ouistreham (Caen) - portsmouth route, on a the MV Mont St Michel. Quite confused when we went to our two bed bunk cabin and could only see a sofa. The sofa flipped to become one bed, but it wasn't immediately obvious where the second bed was. A bit of head scratching later I found a handle on the ceiling- it folded away flush. On the Bretagne on the way out, the upper bunk folds lumpily against the wall and is dead obvious.
permalink I've downloaded photoshop elements
with the intention of paying for it. It's not quite got everything I want, but the missing bits don't justify the hundreds of pounds extra for the full version.
permalink No,
But photoshop is available online for free.

permalink I no longer pirate.
I haven't for around two years.
permalink No, I mean there is an online photoshop
I will find it, later.
permalink Oh, it has changed and is not what it once was.
It is now a filter shop.

This is available:
permalink the video light show
on the Arc de Triomphe for the Tour de France podium ceremony jawdroppingly good. Unlike the cheesy dubstep that has been accompanying it. No Lesley Garret this year.
permalink I was standing atop l'Arc de Triomphe
precisely 36 hours too early for all the fun.

bad planning that
permalink aye
though for the light show standing atop it would have been the worst place to be. For the race it would have been EPIC
thread Hello all!
Back from 6 days off the grid in various interesting bits of Scottish wilderness. 8 Munros climbed in 4 days, some exploration of never-before-visited areas, 5 nights wild camping in lovely spots, much beer consumed beside the tent in the middle of nowhere, and only one night of pissing rain, balanced with much sun.

permalink Man, I'd love to do the Munros.
I haven't done a proper walk for about 2 years now (since Hadrian's wall).
permalink I don't get walking up hills
and it's not as if I don't enjoy minority exercise. I think it's being forced to walk round the Lake District so much as a kid.
permalink this is why I don't
like stately homes. Sherlock Holmes OTOH is ok.
permalink what about Eamonn?
maybe I should hiking another chance, mind you, not many hills worth it round here...
permalink I'm working on them...
Having not walked much in years, I reset the Munro counter last year to start over.
permalink Well... Shout
If you want an annoying tagalong
permalink don't forget
there's many a fine Corbett that the baggers would ignore
permalink Very true.
Including Beinn a'Chlaidheimh, which was demoted from Munro status last year and is therefore probably being woefully neglected now...
permalink hello! I've just got back from Basildon.
There was a coach fire not far ahead of me on the m25, fortunately my clever sat nav got the news just in time to take me a different way, adding a mere hour to my journey instead of four
permalink just booked a cottage in Ardnamurchan for a week in Sept
hopefully to do some of the same

permalink Ah... I assumed JoS was in touch.
I await contact from him to say he's en route, and we plan beerage this evening. I'm emailing you...
permalink speaking of wild camping (assuming c_i doesn't mean flouncing around vigourosly)
does anyone know good places near london (kent essex i guess)?
permalink There are no good places near London.
permalink There are websites for that kind of thing
permalink blimey i thought the people on
4chan were creepy.. but cheers
permalink inside the camera obscura in Harlow?
permalink round the back of the brothel
Good dogging spot, I believe.
permalink not wild but there are some campsites in / around epping forest.
permalink Great game:

Bear with it.
permalink clarke out australia
permalink indeed, this is most awesome
just having a wee siesta back at the hotel, as it is tres chaud en Paris, aujourd hui. And then some.
permalink are you staying in paris for the tour arriving on sunday?
permalink alas no
Very poor planning. We leave this morning for Barcelona
permalink the problem is
permalink I wish he'd stop doing that
very poor decision
permalink what I'd like to know is
how many lux is a day like today? Nice clear day, middle of summer, and that?
permalink about 100,000 apparently
given that an office desk might be 300 or so and street lighting might be 20 you get the picture

permalink blimminy!
I thought it was a lot, but was thinking about 5000 or something.
permalink 1 lux isn't much, and the sun is fucking bright.
There's a good table of examples in this: https://en.wikipedia.o...

Sorry I wasn't around to answer light-related questions!
permalink there's a place I visited on the west coast of south Africa
which was ridiculously bright. It didn't particularly look any brighter but my eyes could barely cope with the intensity, it was wonderfully odd.
thread A sky:
A friend is having trouble with somebody who she had previously blocked from her hotmail account . He seems to have found a way to still email her without consent.

Who should she contact to ensure this is fixed. There is a group called mchelper but there is a charge for the service (which should be free surely?)

Do you know what the 'correct' route would be? (Either that or how do I hack into his account and put a hexx on him).

AQ: dairy lea or laughing cow?
permalink they were talking about updating the stalking laws
but I doubt it's been done. Might be worth contacting the police though, hey it on paper at least?
permalink hey/get
whatever. Stupid phone.
permalink I did wonder.
permalink The Protection From Harassment Act (1997)
can be your friend here. If she's told him that he's causing her distress & he carries on - it is a criminal offence.
permalink Thank
permalink laughing cow
is the cub preference
permalink laughing cow every time
permalink Not Dairy Lea,
you really want some of the French-market Laughing Cow cubes of different flavours. The garlic and onion one is incredible.
permalink cor i had forgotten about those
not had them since i used to go on holiday as a kid where it was always breakfast. fresh bread with laughing cow / strange local jams
permalink Mixing two together is great,
nothing like prawn flavour and beef flavour on the same slice of toast.
permalink I wonder what they are called
permalink Apericubes!
so laughing cow
permalink Those are the kiddies!
I love the idea that they imagine you might serve them as aperiftifs before a dinner party. Classy!
permalink our french neighbour does exactly that
she is obsessed by them though
permalink oh, I want some of those
to France!
permalink Have them delivered

I buy these - https://www.frenchclic...
permalink sacre bleu!
permalink The description of these ones is a bit off-putting

Milk skim-butter-cheese-proteins of milk salts of cast iron: sodium-salt polyphosphate-citrates-diphosphates and phosphate, onion, tomato, green pepper, ham
permalink I knew I'd forgotten something at Tesco
better add 'salts of cast iron' to the list for next week
permalink It's kind of thing
you expect to see in a Victorian chemist's newspaper advert
permalink Get another hotmail or gmail address
and use that instead.

Is this trolling or moronicity?
thread well that blows goats in a 'first world problems'
type of way. Been using a nectar card for aeons if not longer and today tried to get a replacement. Turns out it's not registered to me. Fuckbuckets. It's got £80 on it as well.

AQ: int aircon brilliant.
permalink Is it registered to someone else?
If not, why can't you have it?
Is the old card bust? If not, just go and spend all the vouchers on booxe then get a new card.
permalink I have to get permission
from whoever it's registered to, which may be the ex in which case I'll just get a new one. I'm just annoyed at all that collecting.
permalink Can you not get a decoy
to confirm permission?
Presumably you know enough about her to pass security?
permalink it's not worf it.
permalink there seems to be a new film called
Barking in Essex.... This annoys me as barking isn't in Essex so
permalink It's true, Barking is not in Essex.
However, Barking in Essex is a play, and would appear to feature Keeley Hawes.
I am very much in favour of Keeley Hawes.
permalink historically it was in Essex
it has only (relatively) recently become part of greater london
permalink this.
I always knew it as being in Essex so I was surprised to find it had been moved.
permalink To be pedantic,
it's Essex that's moved, not Barking.
permalink well,
obvs :P
permalink As far as I'm concerned
everything east of Whitechapel is Essex
permalink Sadly,
I do not believe you are the official arbiter in this matter.
permalink feel happy you fucked up their
tracking system a little bit
permalink she'll be wondering why she keeps getting voucher s
for beard polish.
permalink hahahahaha
permalink and all done in
the best possible taste
permalink try transferring the points online
to amazon or sumfink, with the card number you should be able to fudge it or speak in a higher voice
permalink you can hire voices?
permalink you need to log in to do that
and I can't be arsed.
permalink air con is great when you're on your own
otherwise it ends up with most people being slightly uncomfortable and not wanting to make a fuss.

In other news I'm yet to find the perfect seat arrangement in my car, which is silly. I can wear off the peg suits and they look tailored I'm so standard a shape, yet I can't find a driving position that has arms and legs at a comfortable distance.
permalink I've got to get me some of that
I just had to do some manual labour outside, I'm sweating like Noel Edmonds at a Radio 1 reunion.
permalink Ha!
thread Glancing at my watch during a walk-round of a hotel at the aiport in edinburgh
time: 15.01
Departure time of my train to london: 15.30
Time left to spare upon arrival: 20 seconds

The driver seemed a lot calmer about it than I was.. the bit when he went via the royal mile rather than princes st was particularly interestig.

Paris tomorrow, baguettes all round.
permalink funnily enough
we are off to gay Paris tomorrow too
permalink You could meet up for a creme brulee!
permalink well
at least we'll always have Paris
permalink I'm on the 7.01am Eurostar
and returning on the 4pm

I may have an hour or so between 1.30 and 3.30 somewhere between the 5th ardroisssessanment and Gare de Nord

but I suspect you'd rather mooch around Jim Morrison's grave with a baggy checked shirt on than see my be-bearded fizzog
permalink damn
We're on the 07:31...
permalink how very nearly coincidental.
permalink indeed
that would have been most freaky...
permalink speaking of witch
permalink jackofspeed / c_i
are there any plans for fri/sat?
permalink Yes, Friday is the plan, although I've not heard back from C_I.
My companion and I are arriving in Edinburgh some time Friday afternoon, and beers were mooted for Friday evening, potentially meeting up at Brewdog at a time to be determined.

Are you likely to be about then?
permalink fri is good
can hop over on the train after work
permalink Marvellous news! Will be great to make your acquaintance!
Do you want to drop me a line on phil hatty surdigital dotty co dotty uk and we can exchange telephone numbers to make co-ordination easier?
permalink wilco
roger and out
permalink Good evening.
I'm down south again.
permalink How far
down south?
permalink Tierra del Fuego
permalink basildon
permalink del Fuego?
permalink maybe. I find it hard to understand what anyone's
saying this far south.
permalink In Basildon,
every other word is profanity, so you can disregard those.

Also, they probably think you're an extra from Phoenix Nights.
permalink I've got a flat cap with me
But I suspect people may think it fashion rather than northern
permalink I've just realised, I assume you're at Basildon & Thurrock Trust,
who were spectacularly in the news yesterday.
I heard the Chief Exec on the radio - her name is Clare Panniker.
I'm sure she's incredibly calm in a crisis, but I can't help thinking the contrary.
permalink ha! I've not met her. I'm not working at board level.
permalink Based on the care quality reports,
she's not working at all...
permalink maybe, buy she's got some people in who know what they're doing
. . .
permalink unfortunately you're right
if i spot you in london wearing one i'll kill on site.. no offence
permalink just say
"cor blimey, love a duck" in reply to everything, that normally works.
permalink "Hello, we're cockneys, don't you know"
/Fast Show
permalink ..