thread Everyone loves being woken up at 4.30 by a fire alarm in a hotel

permalink Morning. I thought "I'll post that to the bo" on my way to work
and have now forgotten what it was.

On a similar note to your alarm, a long time ago I was at RAF Cranwell for a selection weekend. Their "Get the fuck out of bed" alarm, which was like a fire alarm only louder, was set to GMT and it'd just rolled over to BST so it went off ridiculously early instead of just stupidly early.

Edit: Oh yeah, my new boss phoned yesterday. I'm getting a Seat Leon.
permalink New Seat Leon or old Seat Leon?
They've just introduced a new model, which seems somewhat harder wearing than the last one.
IIRC you'll be quite happy about a bit of Leonism.
permalink Er... depends how "just" just is.
He's in the process of getting it but it'll be in a showroom at the moment.

MrsJam loves the new cooker by the way, thank you.
permalink Could go either way then,
as he may find a good deal on one of the old ones, albeit brand new but pre-registered, or he could order one new, which probably wouldn't be ready for when you start. On the third hand, he might find a deal on a demonstrator which might be a new one. Who knows, depends how much new stock any particular dealer keeps in.

Glad the cooker works at least. Tried the rotisserie yet?
permalink Not yet. I might try sausages on it.
permalink *inserts joke*
*about sausages and spit roasts*
permalink do you get a complimentary
12 year old Natalie Portman, and a big gun?
permalink i've never heard of a coder
getting a car as part of the package
permalink I'm not a coder.
I'm going to be working with NHS trusts predominantly in the north to improve their use of the software the company I'll be working for makes.

I happen to have done some coding at my current place but it's never been in my job description. It's just been something I've done with the 20 or so hours a week I have spare since automating most of my role.
permalink *waves*
permalink I've said it before, I'll say it again
I'm in the wrong job
permalink Good to see you last night
permalink I forgot to say,
I was a big fan of the toilet/bathroom door int he Holiday Inn Express in Inverness.
When "open" it closed off the toilet into its own cubicle, and when "closed" it closed off the whole bathroom from the room. Which meant one's partner could wash while one performed ones toilet, and you could leave the bathroom open with any lingering odours shut off.
Sadly, this punter was without a partner, so it was moot, but I did enjoy the philosophical question of whether the door was "shut" or not.
permalink ALthough presumably
you would be very close to where your fictional partner would be taking a dump, which can be a precarious position to be in...
permalink My fictional partner's faeces don't stink at all.
That's one of the few benefits of having a fictional partner.
permalink I met the woman of my dreams last night
I wouldn't be seen in public with that slut
permalink Huzzah!
I'm going to e-mail you to see if you're around next weekend, but I might forget, so this is here in case I do.
permalink Schrödinger's loo door
. .
permalink i'm sure if it involves FF
everyone is dead
permalink it is very popular that
We discontinued it 3 years ago as its actually pretty inneficient and the new one has a nice huge shower.

permalink I guessed it was pretty inefficient, as it was a big old bathroom,
but it was a sofabed room, not a standard double.
The shower wasn't small either, at least 900 square, and one side of it was the glazed wall of the toilet "cubicle"

I resisited the urge count the light switches, after our discussion of the matter.
permalink yeah, its our standard second gen room, there are about 5000 rooms like that
In the uk. New shower is 800x1400.

All express rooms with a double bed can fit a sofa bed, in practice a lot are broken and not replaced
permalink you wanna see the shower of the
novotel near heathrow, even the bath's comfy!
permalink yeah they are nice sometimes
.. damned frenchies.

permalink looks like it was built
by frenchies too.
permalink Dirty dirty
permalink architect types
I know you lot don't do streets, but maybe you can help me with this:
why, especially on really terrible street design proposals, are the cars, bikes and pedestrians in "artists impresions" always so tiny out of scale? Is it carlessness or active evil?
permalink Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by incompetence
permalink there's one I saw this morning
that had full size merc exec-mobiles in the "before" photo and an undersized Smart in the "after" rendering.
Given this is Westminster borough council, I lean towards malice.
permalink look
how small the double decker bus on the first page is
permalink Looks like
they got the work experience kid in to do that one
permalink That's simply badly done.
For example, the pavement on the right is significantly wider than along side the nearest building than it is on the next one down.

In reality the buildings front along the same line.
permalink of course
the rendering aren't half as bad as what they're proposing.
permalink It is a pretty awful rendering, I must admit.
They'd have done better to model the street in detail, and use CGI vehicles and people, then montage that into the photo.
They'd have done better to do anything but what they did actually.
permalink Like taking a photo, printing it out,
then taking a massive dump on it.

and sticking a flag in it.
permalink Ah, so you remember my
morning routine, then?
permalink it explains some of those funny shaped housing estates.
permalink No, that's all a part of my
context-led design approach, responding to both physical and ephermeral site constraints.
permalink who needs nurbs modelling?
Zaha just needs to lay some cable.
permalink the street propsals
will be sort of OK for pedestroians, awful for cyclists, pretty poor buses.
permalink won't even be that good for motorists
which is odd, as Westminster usually favour them
permalink As long as they keep moving.
They hate it when they park.
permalink fucking hell
that looks like a magazine, scissors and pritt stick job. I wouldn't be surprised if Teh Fear or the quo were peering round a corner somewhere.
permalink I checked
for a CDC but couldn't find one
permalink I found myself look for those
when I opened it up
permalink Not to mention the fact that it's not even a proper London bus.
You can tell because it's in full Stagecoach branding and has an LED panel for the route number on the back. /geekery
permalink There's a lot of dreadful rendering out there
The ridiculously wide-angle virtual lens is another rendering sin that annoys me.
permalink It is usually a combination of incompetence and malice, or at least cheekiness.
You canchoose to use entirely 6ft+ people in your renderings to make the building look smaller, or you can use 5ft6inch people to make the street look bigger.
We are generally pretty careful though, it would be horrific to end up in a public inquiry and have someone have a bash at your renderings on that score.
Always check for the child holding a balloon.
permalink we got some renders from an architect recently
with the most peculiar people in. One bloke had a definite kiddie-fiddler look about him. Also a guy with definite trouser bulge.
permalink I used to have a facebook group dedicated to people waving even though they are in grave danger
It featured pictures like this http://upload.wikimedi...
permalink places I'd rather not live
#2346: next door to a fertiliser factory :(
permalink Or even down the road from one
or several streets across from one...
bad times indeed for America
permalink so what's the protocol
are you allowed to run around the place half naked or does everyone suit up grab their bag and meet at the safe area?
permalink I suited up
as it was going to be cold and I didn't know how long we'd be out there (after checking corridor wasn't full of smoke)

there were some people in bathrobes though...
thread I just scared the willies out of myself
I went downstairs to make a cuppa and suddenly heard loud voices in the lounge. I didn't know what to do, and was just going for a big knife when I realised it was the dulcet tones of David Harmon; I'd left the telly on after watching the end of the Giro del Trentino, and Eurosport are showing Fleche Wallon. Tsk.
permalink Ha! Well done.
permalink you or anyone else ebay-ey
where can I buy a load (50) of DVD postal envelopes/jiffy bags cheaply? Physically, not off internets
permalink Local
post office?
permalink Or Rymans?
permalink post office
staples, rymans etc.

but they are dirt cheap on the interwebs and mine were delivered next day (50 g6 i think)
permalink I've tried both post office and rymans
and they want something like £1.50 each

and interwebs means waiting in for a parcel, which I can't do for a while (don't get on with my neighbours and can't get things delivered to work)
permalink no friends nearby?
i think i paid like 11.95 for 50
permalink only friends
with jobs
permalink arent you close to me?
or is that some other northern type?
permalink emotionally perhaps
but no, Glasgow
permalink Restrict your ebay search to local types?
They may be happy for you to collect at a suitable time.
permalink you could pick it up at your local PO
permalink but they'll try and deliver it first
and one of my neighbours will accept it and then huff about it
permalink ah i didn't read the page properly.. i thought i remembered them
starting a service similar to what thirdy mentioned

you could always poste restante it http://www.postoffice....
permalink Got an Amazon Locker or Collection shop near you?
permalink products not eligible
permalink These are

Any good?
permalink need ones for the cases to fit in
planning on ebaying loads of old games, the margin is going to be slim so need to do P&P as low as possible
permalink I've used ByBox a lot
Very good service, similar to Amazon Lockers but in more places, but downside is that it adds an extra day to the delivery time:
permalink ooh that would be useful
but none anywhere near me sadly
permalink Physically? Not really, no. Asda probably.
I pack DVDs in a C5 envelope, then put that in another C5. Not had any complaints yet and C5s are easily procured from the office.
permalink good call
permalink I have 50 you can have
Email me
permalink appreciated
but as above, the problem is I can't really get parcels delivered at the moment :)
permalink you not allowed receive mail at work?
that's a bit shitty
permalink well I work at a university
and the process for incoming parcels is somewhat byzantine
permalink fairly muff
I don't remember it ever being a problem in Reading...maybe we just had accommodating secretaries*

*no, not like that
permalink bah,
I'm all of a dissapoint.

*cancels trip to dreading*
permalink you never saw the secretaries in question
*shudders at the very thought*
permalink I could sell you the ones out of my cupboard
but that might not be any quicker
permalink How many willies did you have in you?
permalink I am taking his silence
to mean more than four
permalink I imagine the willies being scared out of new matt
looked very much like that wang rendering video down there
permalink pfft
you're the second person I know that's done that to themselves recently.

In other news, shiny Jellybeans for all!
permalink yes
I've not found how to change my lock screen wallpaper. O2 have changed it to a picture of the dome.

permalink Hold the screen with a digit
And a menu shows with set that then you have a lock screen change...presume you are using the sii?
thread yay,on,a,train,to,edinburgh.



permalink Still fancy a beer later this evening?
permalink indeed.
Drop me a text when you are free... does the oxford suit?
permalink indeedy

permalink I reckon I'll be back in town by about 8.30 latest.
Oxford or Cambridge would be the sensible options.
permalink cool
permalink That's hard to read
It's like you're hiccuping between each word.
permalink To be honest
it really isn't much harder to read than most of his posts
permalink I don't have a problem with them normally
but I suppose I'm more used to it.
permalink I think the problem
is when people dont read in my tone of voice
permalink or spell in your tone
of dyslexia
permalink either works for me
can you let me know when you've all sorted it out
permalink You're not dyslexic
just lazy
permalink or lzay
permalink internet seems to think you need to check your input language
I hope you're in first class.
permalink unfortunatelynotthistime
permalink Right, that's better,
got the Dell Beast(tm) laptop and weightlifting trainer out. now regretting not taking the table earlier
permalink I quite like it with all the commas
and in marvellous news, the NZ parliament has just passed the Marriage Equality Bill 77-44...amazing!

Gay marriage for all!!!*

*well, mostly for the gays!
permalink Well done

edit: did some more work on that track, I think it is pretty much done now . . the mix is a bit off though I think, the drums are coming on far too strong
permalink i keep waiting for robert smiths lyrics to kick in
circa Kiss me Kiss me Kiss me :)
permalink I could think
of worse :)
permalink nice one
(are sheep included?)

but with the other hand they taketh away
permalink hmm, I happen to actually agree with the marine protest one
as there has been some downright dangerously stupid stuff done by protestors...that and working in the industry, it's actually be good if they like shot some seismic and drilled some wells.

Also importantly yesterday, this:
which the bastard National Party utterly refused to help with. The cunts. No more stealing our bank holidays!
permalink speaking of gadgets any recommendations on the best camera on an android phone
and not a new phone maybe a year old or something so it's not too pricey

i remember seeing thebear's upload with his kids painting and the quality looked pretty good to me
permalink Why not just buy a fucking camera?
Staples were recently selling a Canon a800 for £40. It's a fantastic camera, especially for the money. I bought two.

permalink calm the fuck down.. it's not for me
and it's for streaming live video
permalink It's probably going to be either Samsuing Galaxy S4
or the HTC One (as opposed to the One X, which is older but also good)

The One goes the route of low megapixelage, but larger sensor pixels, so better low light performance. The Galaxies always have good cameras, but may trade low light performance for higher megapixel counts.
Avoid anything over 8mp on a smartphone for this reason - there simply isn't enough room for decent enough optics to make this worthwhile, and it usually makes matters worse.
permalink excellent that's exactly the kind of detail we needed
permalink As a used phone
the Galaxy S2 will take a lot of beating
permalink weird that they're cheaper in a shop than on ebay
permalink That's also ed zackery
what Rupes is using I believe.
permalink yus indeed
I really have no desire to upgrade mine any time soon...tis a marvellous phone
permalink My Samsung keyboard dock sometimes does similar things
in web-page forms in Chrome.
If you try it in the other android Browser, you may get different results.
Or, you may not.
thread As satire goes...
this is pretty bleak:

but kinda hard to argue with.
permalink Yup
Although I did wonder about all the articles stating these were "the first terrorist attacks in the US since 9/11"

So none of the gun toting nutjob killings (such as Sandy Hook, Denver cinema etc) count as terrorism? I would have thought that was exactly what there were, or do Caucasian Americans exercising their right to bear arms not count?
permalink It's only terrorism if it's non-merkins, surely?
Otherwise it's just an unfortunate case of one or two psychotic gun-wielding loons giving all right-thinking psychotic gun-wielding loons a bad name...
permalink well, I'd imagine this is a lone loon Merkin (or maybe 2)
my money's on the Westboro Baptist Church branching out
permalink god hates joggers now?
Who knew ?
permalink Surely something is only terrorism if it is done on an agenda.
nutjob shooting sprees shouldn't be classed as terrorism as the purpose is not terror, it's body count.
permalink it's probably bad, but that immediately made me think of this

[edit] which is much more rubbish than I remember.
permalink TJ:
More progress on that new track of mine -
permalink listening now
liking the new fisherman's jumper, bobble hat and pipe look though ;-)
permalink Cor, that's a bit good! Like it a lot.
Quite heavy...not the usual Lycopaedia may need a new artist name for this!
permalink I was thinking that myself

Now I need a new artist name and a name for this track!
permalink If that kind of shit were commonplace then it wouldn't be news.
At least 33 dead in bombings in Iraq on Monday isn't news because it happens so often. A bombing in the US is massive news because it's so rare.

There's also bias - US drones in Pakistan have killed more children than people died in the Boston bombing. That's not news either because we don't care about Pakistan and drone strikes happen so frequently and kill so many civilians.

The news scaremongers. If you're outlook is bleak then you're watching too much news.
permalink It is the Onion...
I think that's rather their point.
permalink not exactly a new phenomenon though is it
blowing up bombs has been a favourite technique of the disenfranchised for years

if i'd been around at the time i doubt i'd ride the tube in the 1880's
thread Morning all
I like this resignation letter

It isn't arsey AND it gives people cake. Everyone likes being given cake.
permalink That's brilliant. I had to google for a resignation letter to use
as I was incapable of typing anything even approaching non-abusive myself.
permalink there's suspcion that it's a viral marketing stunt
but if so, the website is currently returning a 503 error. So most people will type it in, see that, and never visit it again.
permalink nah, not a genuinely planned thing apparently
but he's not stupid, so it'll have occurred to him. He genuinely does work on the border at Stansted though.

[edit] my wife works in the same office as the media guy at Stansted (he has an excellent waxed moustache), he's getting all sorts of calls about it; makes a change to the normal Theresa May fuck ups I suppose.
permalink Has he got good banter?
Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered!
permalink I hope he has a whole drawer in a filing cabinet marked
"Theresa May Fuck Ups"
permalink write it in spunk
over a page from Razzle.
permalink 'sake
I hate it when events are listed as starting at 9am, then when you get thereiit's '9:00 - 9:45 : registration'
permalink If there are pastries
then registration is OK
permalink if there are pasties
then resignation is COMPLETE
permalink no pastries :(
not even a coffee :((
permalink No coffee at registration?
permalink meanwhile
photo what I took on Sunday in a street near my house:

permalink old skool
permalink your house is next to the 80's?
all that photo needs is a cnd sticker in the window
permalink Nuclear Power?
No Thanks
permalink Jebus
*flashbacks to dodgy Cambridge terraces*
permalink I know Mr Cake
my missus used to work with him. He lives down the road. He made me some fudge for Valentine's day.
permalink So he knows you've got a missus because he works with her
and he makes you fudge anyway? What a bastard! Did he ask you to pack it for him too?
permalink i don't understand why they insist on having F1 in bahrain
hopefully it gets put off again and the people get closer to some form of democracy
permalink I tend to agree, it's bernies fault I'd say
also if there was no F1 nobody would be reading that news story right now.

permalink it's kind of like bands playing suncity in the 80's
some said they were doing it to focus attention on apartheid.. though i doubt those are bernie's reasonings
permalink Like sport could ever bring about change...
permalink I am pretty sure
it is down to the solid fact that Bernie Ecclestone is a 100% gold plated cunt
permalink this
with bells on
permalink he is of course backed up
by the many, many other silver plated cunts in F1
permalink oh indeed
one of the reasons I can't be doing with the whole shebang these days
permalink I still enjoy it
for some reason
permalink I think living in a country full of bogan twats
has left me unable to enjoy motorsports
permalink I gave up last season
they're all prissy knobends these days
permalink the cycling
is taking more of my attention now, I have to admit.
Little things I do like: National (and World) champions wearing their national colours/the white jersey with rainbow stripes rather than team colours.