thread Oh bugger!
Some time ago I replaced the innards of the toilet cistern with modern push-button workings. This gubbins has its own overflow which goes down the pan, rather than the old overflow which goes into the kitchen.

The old overflow is lower than the new, that's why the kitchen flooded instead of the water trickling down the pan.

In order to prevent this happening again we put a condom over the old overflow. I say "we", I had the idea and happened upon an out-of-date condom and MrsJam did the hard work. Because I'm shit at DIY.

Anyway, a few minutes ago I flushed the loo and came back downstairs. I was busy banning idiots in askreddit when I heard a curiously wet noise emanating from upstairs. The floaty bit had jammed and the cistern was still filling, only the overflow was too close to the top so water was spilling over onto the floor.

Thankfully water hasn't appeared to go anywhere other than the floor and it wasn't too much. A few towels mopped it up and we've turned the cistern's water feed off.
permalink oh cowjam
at work we have contactless loo flushers.

WHich are rubbish. It's easy to get them to do the "half flush". This doesn't move shit. Literally. The "full flush" seems to be something achievable only by Jedi mind tricks.
permalink I recently dropped a brown fish
that poked above the water line and waved. It didn't flush.

I had a rather nervous five minutes waiting for the flush to work again before it decided to move on.
permalink I shat out what must have been the full length of my innards a while ago...
It took 5 flushes and a good thrashing of the bog brush to restore order to the work's loo.

Mind you the plumbing for the loo at work is weird, the water level sits very high, and when flushed, parades the bowl's contents around before the whole lot gets sucked down, a truly bizarre arrangement.
permalink A friend of mine once worked in an architect's office where they were in two buildings...
across the road from each other.

In his office, someone used to drop an enormous megaton turd in the gents every day and not flush it. Really massive, every time. They couldn't figure out who as the timing wasn't regular, everyone there denied it, and people were popping back and forth between the two buildings all the time.

Eventually, they sussed who they thought the culprit was... a guy from the other building. They watched his comings and goings and checked. Sure enough... looked as though they'd caught the phantom pipelayer.

However, it would seem that he realised that the game was up. The day after they identified him, he visited legitimately as usual, popped to the bog on the way out, made a swift exit...

One of the guys went to check, and found not only that the guy had left an especially gigantic pile of turd in their bog, but that he'd stuck a little white paper flag on a cocktail stick in it.

Respect.
permalink hehehehehehe!



*attacks with purposefully long screwdriver*
permalink screwdriver?
surely something you don't need again would be best.

A stick. Or a junior colleague.
permalink last time Flan was
at Witchy Acres he questioned the 24" screwdriver that laid on top of the bog...

I still have it :)
permalink loses style points
for not having had a wank over the top
permalink Reminds me of that picture from Glastonbury...
Mountain of shit in a portaloo with a small cake on top.
permalink Urinal cake?
permalink it turns out that bogs and plumbing are a nightmare
.
permalink On next week's episode
of Cowjam's Plumbing Woes...

oops! And using an out of date condom? Presumably if it ain't up to the job of stopping your little swimmers, not sure it's much use as a plumbing prophylactic
permalink STOP PICKING ON ME
Is my basic response at the moment.

I think I've hit that perfect moment of ineptitude of nothing is going right so just shout and do in my absense.
permalink this, unfortunately
is why plumbers are able to charge lots of money for their services

It all looks rather easy, but unfortunately really isn't. Or at least is somewhat expensive, when it goes wrong
permalink This is why I don't do water
Electrics are easy, and I'm an acceptable carpenter & bricklayer, but water has a habit of biting you in the arse.
permalink I'd really like to start smoking again about now.
Which is fucking ridiculous.
permalink you picked a bad day
to quit meth
permalink *falls off ceiling*
thread Morninall
Yawn.
permalink ayyye
..
permalink Evening
But otherwise, yes
permalink Good morning!
`
permalink morning
I completely forgot I've got a phone interview today, lucky it's only on the phone and I don't have to go anywhere...
permalink so the only question is
Pants or no pants?
permalink I'll probably wander about when on the phone
so in case there's anyone outside, I'll keep the kecks on.
permalink last time I had a phone interview my hand was numb at the end*
..... I was in a public park as well.


* from holding the phone.
permalink Haha!
Nicely worded.
permalink an hour on the phone is painful
my RSI is giving me gyp now, might have to knock off for the day.
permalink knock one off ?
Didn't you do that while having the interview ?
permalink "so how are you at multitasking?"
"you'll never guess what else I'm doing at the moment..."
permalink "Oh god... not another one."
....
permalink A friend works for the NHS researching the relationship
between mental illness & drug use. One of the grad students she uses for phone interviews is a Czech woman with a remarkably sexy phone voice, she gets that quite often.

My friend is from Bradford, she doesn't...
permalink *spanks whippet*
permalink *flashbacks to sexy czech nurse doing my MRI scan*
and hoping this wasn't a 'you've been framed' thing where they were actually checking my brain waves
permalink .....
actually checking my brain for waves


FTFY
permalink *blink* *blink*
*yaaaaaawn*

*stretch*

*fart*

Woke up at 6am with my heart racing, what's that all about then?
permalink dreaming of me again
permalink is a racing heart a normal symptom
of the rohypnol wearing off?
permalink Only if you're legless in South Africa
permalink Afternoon
been up working since 5, think I shall treat myself to a nice lunch, do the crossword and sleep all afternoon till the pub opens
permalink Hurrah for Prince Phillip cracking un PC jokes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/n...
permalink office ARF!
http://www.nme.com/blo...
permalink heh
very good.

I watched seconds of that last night, made me yearn for Mick Fleetwood.
permalink thankfully my
eyes weren't assaulted by that backslapping shitfest of an excuse for an 'awards' show.
permalink this is also arfworthy:
http://theoatmeal.com/...
permalink top
drawer. I was fleeing the lounge (I'd just popped down to get foods)as fucking bastard arsehole Mumford and Sons launched into their godawful shite.
permalink I don't have any problem with Mumford and Sons
there. I've said it.
permalink *speechless*
. .
permalink largely harmless, if a little generic
there's a lot worse about.
permalink True
and a lot better

The new Richard Thompson album is brilliant
permalink of course there is, but for middle of the road pop I'd rather have them
than one direction or Jessie J.
permalink I just went and listened to some M&S
They're ok, I recking they're one of those bands that it's cool to hate, but actually are alright.
permalink They give the impression
they are trying too hard, they're no Bellowhead are they
permalink I am happy that they are doing well,
because the average quality of other stuff that does well is so low, the fact that M&S do OK is at least some sort of sign that not everyone is dead inside.

See also: Amy MacDonald; and (dare I say it) Bruno Mars.
permalink Profanityswan doesn't like them:
http://www.mirror.co.u...
permalink to be fair
there are an awful lot of CDs in my rack that barely stand the test of time, even though they were the best thing ever then. Remember 'The Bees' and 'The Editors'?
permalink I used to work with Richard Thompson's
UK merchandising manager, and once stayed in his house while he was in the US.
He lives on Platt's Lane in Hampstead and owned a ten year old Previa, fact fans. Well he did 10 years ago.

I recently heard him do a live cover of something modern and mainstream, and loved it, but can't remember what it was.
permalink Oops I Did It Again?
http://youtu.be/V4WGsM...
permalink That's the kitty.
It was on the www.coverville.com podcast.
permalink I don't have any problem with Mumford and Sons either
but then I'm not aware of ever having heard any of their stuff
permalink We don't really treat you
as an arbiter of good taste though :)
permalink He's more of an abattoir
of good taste ;)
permalink Morning!
I've just got the e-mail I've been waiting for.
It turns out that Volkswagen have actually managed to manufacture a little car, and it'll be delivered to me late next week.
I'm going to give the Audi a fair send off with a late night thrash from the JoS cottage to merseyside and back this evening.
permalink I hope there will be handbrake turns
And doughnuts in a car park.
permalink Doughnuts?
In that 140bhp Audi?
I suspect not.
I may see if I can arrive at my destination in a proper four wheel drift though, Gene Hunt style.
permalink I, for one, would appreciate this.
Doughnuts might be pushing it, but a wee handbrake turn or two should surely be employed.

No point in giving it back without the tyres being within a few miles of illegal...
permalink Well obviously they're already well on their way.
In fact Kwik Fit refused to balance the wheels recently because the tyres all need replacing soon.

I hesitate to say it, but I've never mastered or even really experimented with the handbrake turn.
permalink Here's your chance!
All you need is a nice empty gravel car park on the way home...
permalink definetly do it jos
not sure how lumbering your car is but doing them in a mini is probably the best fun a teenager could ever have*

*in the front seats
permalink whilst I'm glad my body wakes me up
before I fully stop breathing, the lack of sleep this has produced isn't fun
permalink I'm supposed to be writing my Personal Development section
of my target setting. I CAN'T THINK
permalink think yourself lucky
i'm being packed off on an ITIL, a Prince 2, C# & MS DYnamics courses
permalink I asked for a prince2 ages ago but they haven't sent me on one.
`
permalink from what i understand
it is more tedious than particiapting and then documenting (in triplicate) a "discussion" with manley*

* bless his bearded socks
permalink Aye, but it'd be useful to have
`
permalink I am PRINCE2 qualified
cock all use to man or beast.
permalink lots of employers
who dont know better like you to have it though
permalink It took me three runs to understand that.
You can just lie - I have not got my paperwork anywhere.
permalink You are very short,
wear a lot of purple, and changed your name to a symbol?
permalink Yes.
Also, your mum wants me.
permalink Learn Cantonese.
Build a model of Dog the Bounty Hunter out of ferrets.
Enlarge your penis by 2 inches in just 10 weeks.
permalink I have put all of these in*
as my boss will be approving the goals whilst he's on paternity leave it'll be a good test of how sleep deprived he is.

*this is a lie. I missed out the Cantonese one**


**also a lie.
permalink I want a job where people don't pester me with computer problems all day long.
permalink Just
turn them off and turn them back on again.
permalink then do the
computers too.
permalink Can't I just turn them off permanently?
`
permalink anyone know about damp rising or otherwise?
my friend has mould/spoury things growing on a wall (around a fireplace if that makes any difference)
that from the outside shows evidence of attempted damp proofing (holes bored.. only some of which are filled)

the landlord has finally sent a guy round but he has po-poo'ed rising damp as from the inside the skirting boards are dry
(the damp patch rises 3ft up the walls)
anyway his plan is to fill any holes and paint the outside with anti-damp stuff.. does that sound legit?
permalink If he doesn't have a damp course then he'll need air holes.
He needs to open all his windows for an hour a day.
permalink she has them open pretty much all the time
it's a pretty shaky/drafty old building i doubt airholes are a problem
permalink Once the "fix" has been applied,
open all the windows, and turn the heating up to the max for a day or two. That's the most effective way to clear dampness I'm aware of, besides a dehimidifier. However all this is pointless unless the problem is fixed.
Airholes and cross ventillation really only help to solve condesation related dampness anyway, they'll just alleviate the problem you've described.
permalink yeah i'm now reading rising damp is a myth
she wants a dehumidifier but wants the landlord to pay for it (and the electricity) but he's being a cunt about that

painting the outside does seem some what after the horse has bolted kind of thing like you say especially if there is nowhere for the water to go.. i thought they'd just stick a membrane inbetween the foundations and the wall
permalink Introducing a damp-proof course would work,
but it's very hard to get one into an existing wall.
It's like insulating an existing uninsulated cavity wall, you can do it, but you've really no idea how well you've done when you've finished.

I seem to recall we were told at college that there's no such thing as rising damp, just damp. If the bottom of a wall is sat in water, the wall will begin to become damp from the bottom up, if the top is constantly getting wet, it wilkl get dampo from the top. If it's constantly battered by driven rain, it will get damp from the outside in.
Most conventionally constructed walls are not not waterproof, they work in the same way as a wollen overcoat - the assumption is that it will stop raining before it gets soaked through. The original idea of the cavity wall to allow any moisture that makes it through the brickwork to run down the cavity to the ground, so the inner leaf stays dry. And better thermal properties of course.
permalink well cheers.. i passed on all your advice
i think she was just sick of having her head patted and being treated like some idiot blonde
permalink Painting the outside is nonsense I think,
because the wall is damp, and painting it externally is going to keep the damp in, rather than doing any good.
A more sensible bodge job would be to strip the plaster off internally, seal the wall somehow, and then replaster over it.
It isn't necessarily "rising" damp, but I'd have thought actually fixing it is going to be tricky, but that's the landlord's problem. From the tenant's point of view the best and cheapest solution would probably be to batten the wall out and line it with foil backed plasterboard, but even this is nonsense unless you allow the moisture in the void to drain away somewhere.

At my place, the landlord took off the plaster, and ground away a good inch or so of the stone behind, sprayed it all with waterproof concrete and re-lime-plastered over that. It's worked a treat (although I don't know exactly how bad it was before).
permalink your landlord is not exactly typical though, remember...
:)
permalink it's worth pointing out that the Duke didn't do the work personally.
He has trustees who have a man who employs a woman who arranges for a reputable tradesman to do that sort of stuff for him.
permalink the moisture in the void?
is this a new branch of horror erotica?
permalink +1
.....
permalink moisture in the void
Difficult second album from Horror Erotica.

Peel session, etc.
permalink Sounds rather
Lovecraftian

permalink a sequel to
Enter the Void
permalink Well. I did a cracking bit of spending-other-people's-money today
We're moving the Edinburgh office next week and need a few bits and bobs. So today I ordered a 1.5kw UPS, a slidey-drawer KVM unit, a mid-spec Xeon workstation,a 55" Sony Bravia LED tv and a Unicol trolley to hang it on, plus sundry cables and rack hardware.
permalink and bloody hell, the big telly just arrived.
:)
permalink What the fuck is wrong with ebay?
Every now and it fails to let me list something because I must accept paypal as a payment method. I only want paypal as a payment method and there seems to be no check box to say "oh yes, this fucking paypal address I've put in is actually the fucking paypal address I fucking want to use".

permalink it's yet another site that getting worse and worse
.
permalink should I feel bad
that I've never used ebay?*

*or the local kiwi version, TradeMe
permalink nah
you can get odd bits on it, but I'd not worry too much
permalink I ordered Beatles Rock Band for the xbox from play.com
and they sent me Red Dead Zombies instead. That was about two years ago.

I just sold it on ebay for twice what I paid for it.
permalink
4. Profit!
thread Tabz?
http://www.guardian.co...

Very sad...

in other news, much better by England in the cricket last night. Joe Root is a very promising young player, but by fuck he only looks about 11 years old. Does he have permission from his mum to be touring?

AQ: anything exciting planned for your Thursday? Me, work, followed by a brief parental visitation
permalink Arse
Good show

No, trip to London cancelled, leaves me at a loss.
permalink You are all a bloody sleep
aren't thee?
permalink Not quite, no
but it is bloody hot in the office, so not far off sleeping
permalink Fair
Enough
permalink I'm going to put up two bird boxes
and clean my bike properly. assuming I've still got nothing resembling work to do.
permalink Elder likkleruff's birthday...
5 years old tomorrow, where the bloody hell has that gone!
permalink Down the
Pan?
permalink Only after a little voice has shouted
"Daddy I've finished"
permalink Quite the opposite,
I think I'd have gone further panward without the Rufflets and Mrs Ruff...
permalink Sad news
he had been a massive alcoholic and heroin addict for a long time though so it isn't unexpected

TOTN - Song For Insane Times - http://youtu.be/VjhOK1...
permalink so on my way home yesterday
as I got off the train, as per usual there was a twat stood blocking the way (because, you know, you can get on the train faster if you stop people getting off.

For once though they were advertising quite how much of a twat they were being by wearing "shutter" type glasses.
permalink I absolutely alway
Walk straight into those people.
permalink the sheer twattishness of his atire
(he also had an exceptionally twattish facial piercing) took me aback momentarily causing me to pause. Usually I do just walk into them. Which is even more effective when you have a bike.
permalink Yes.
I have a bike.
permalink I was with a colleague on the Tube after a few drinks
when someone did that to us. Without thinking, I picked him up and walked away from the train with him, then plonked him down by the platform wall. My colleague didn't stop giggling all the way home.
permalink I have done this,
But I must admit that they have to be smaller than me

#coward
permalink Thursday? Cancel dentist because of an 'important' meeting at work.
'Important' meeting will either be entirely me making decisions or cancelled as at least two of the other key players won't be there.

Post a load of games I sold on ebay, including selling one for twice what I paid for it.
thread See
I told you size mattered!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/n...

Also: Phil The Greek is being a comedy racist again: http://www.standard.co...
permalink so what you're saying
is that you're hung like a mole?
permalink I think snails
have the largest penis in relation to the size of their bodies?

plus mine leaves a trail of slime
permalink I think it is barnacles.
Slug sex is beautiful.
permalink [something about holes]
//


TJ: Does anyone know a good system for group task management, so one person can raise a task for another while a third can track them. online preferably.
permalink Basecamp
I assume it costs money though.
permalink TJ2: One of my company KPOs this year is to look at
Improved use of IT and our possible new iPads to streamline our workflow stuff.. .mostly property reports that we produce.

Do we know any good app developers? or anyone worked on any web-based report production systems?

permalink I'm trained in qlikview.
It's very expensive and has a stupid name and is basically fancy web graphics showing stuff. Which is kind of what I understand report stuff to be. I don't really know though, because I produce fancy looking reports and then I get asked for fucking excel fucking spreadsheets. Or worse, my boss will find some data for himself and the first I'll know about it is when I'm asking Communications why they've put the wrong data on a press release. And then Comms will email my boss's boss and she'll say "I don't know why that happened, we'll sort it out on Monday" and then nothing will ever be said about it again.
permalink Both
being in charge of reporting & analytics for a property investment company...

We're currently using QlikView, it sucks at presenting data over the web and we may investigate alternatives (Tableau & Jreport)

Have a look at this for some background to this area of IT systems - http://www.gartner.com...
permalink I'm currently playing with amcharts
It's pretty low-level and basic flash charts, but it suits me I know my data well and can get it out in the form I want.

I can see how qlikview's importing and storing of data is handy but as all the data I need is already in a database I don't see it as of much use to me.
permalink QV's supposed to be a tool
for (us) analysts to provide data to less bright parts of the business (sales, customer services etc) in a shiny format that they can understand without having to wrap their brains round actual numbers.
permalink these look pretty good
our stuff tends not to be data-driven unfortunately

more 'look the bathrooms are shit' and 'your gonna have to sort this shit out' kind of reports.

it's currently an excell spreadsheet and the only reason for this is it helps control multiple tabs (some versions of the report will have some tabs and others will have other tabs) and so that the name and some basic info auto-populates.

but it's slow and pretty clunky.
permalink I am not sure that is racist,
rather observational. The use of 'running' rather defuses it all.
thread Morning all!
I've spent the last three days on a course about adoption.

How have you all been?
permalink I am suddenly
full of cold. might go to Homebase later. I have worked out that I have averaged 13.0mph on my bike over 4300+ miles. I'm not sure if that's good. it feels like it was a lot of hard work.
permalink I had a cold recently. It started on Friday and
it was pretty much over yesterday. I felt like utter shit on Monday though, thought it might actually be flu.
permalink I had a long-running one fairly recently
but this feels like a proper full blown snotfest, so hopefully it'll be clear by the weekend.
permalink I've still got a cold
but I was able to breathe well enough to get to work. Reckon the air quality is better out here in Duxford, which helps- it has been shocking in central Cambridge, especially yesterday.
permalink The adoption of children, I assume.
Hereabouts, the use of the word adoption generally relates to a government authority taking ownership of roads or other public land.

permalink I hope he's planning on adopting
Tigers. Or Tiggers.
permalink You assume correctly.
I don't want any roads in the family though a bit of land might be nice.
permalink The land in question would normally require you to continuously
maintain it, and would be publicly accessible.
If it were adopted, you'd only technically have rights over the top 450mm, the land below that would still belong to the original owner, in theory.
permalink what rights to the air?
there used to be (possibly still is in some parts) a tax to the air above 'your' land
permalink I don't entirely know, to be honest.
I only know that the highways authorities only own the top 450mm unless specifically stated otherwise. I think this means that any underground services need rights and easements negotiated separately.
I don't know what they think you might be able to do with the land 450mm underneath the road, but it seems as if you could do it. I guess it relates most importantly to cities where basements extend beneath the road.
permalink I thought the foundations for a lot of roads
extend more than 450mm? Probably explains why so many roads are in such a shocking state if they're such a thin strip.
permalink Actually, that's because the top layers aren't replaced frequently enough.
Roads are layered, the top layer is designed to need replacing more often so that the lower layers need replacing less often.

When the top layer isn't replaced the lower layers suffer and need replacing sooner than would otherwise be necessary.

/father-in-law used to be head of roads in Wales.
permalink there's that
and there's the lower layers not being built strongly enough to cope with modern traffic in the first place- plus in towns especially old and rotting sewers/water mains/gas mains that are collapsing.
permalink And, instead of scraping the top layer off properly
they often just spray it with tar and add new grit to the top, which just creates more space for water to seep in and then freeze.
permalink Indeed. The roads around wigan became potholey
in the three weeks we were away.
permalink you should see the state of the roads around where I live
less than six months since they were "re-done" and they're fucked. because they did them cheaply. they've got a year and a bit to sort them out before the Tour comes past.
permalink when they "repair" a hole
it's often done by cucking some warm asphalt at the hole and hoping it sorts itself out. More or less. Which lasts maybe a day.
permalink can you get the GA to take ownership of the trains
and possibly the gas corps.. that would be nice
permalink the words "GA" and "trains"
in close proximity will cause new_matt to blow a gasket- the (dutch state railways owned) company that runs (but doesn't own) the trains that mrs_new_matt uses for commuting are run by "Greater Anglia"
permalink those fuckers
[edit] I tell you what, this board is running smooth, fast and true now. Well done all concerned.
permalink Seconded.
It's a bloody marvellous contrivance - I'm so much more productive at work now an F5 is basically instant.
permalink I too
have to suffer the farce of GA every morning . . . if their rolling stock gets any shoddier I may have to start carrying a roll of gaffa tape
permalink in fact
NS (Dutch state owned) through their subsidiary Abellio operate Greater Anglia and Northern with a 50% stake in Merseyrail.
DB (German state owned) own Arriva who operate Arriva Trains Wales and Cross Country and have a 50% stake in LOROL who run London Overground. They also operate Chiltern directly and own the largest freight operator DBS.
SNCF (French state) own a company called Keolis, who have a 35% stake in Govia, the group that runs Southeastern, Southern and London Midland. They also have a 45% stake in First TransPennine Express.
East Coast is currently run by a company fully owned by HM Government.

tl;dr: much of the rail network in this country is run by goverments, just mainly foreign ones. The trains themselves are owned by banks and venture capitalists and leased at extoriotnate rates in a goverment-sanctioned racket.
permalink The train leasing thing is as iniquitous as PPP in hospitals.
The state of it makes me hang my head in confusion, shame and wonder at the people who thought it was a good decision for the taxpayer.
permalink i read somewhere that the stripping crew* are planning to PPP
the fire departments.. i sincerely hope this was just scaremongering

and thanks Al.. i knew it was fucked up.. just not quite THAT fucked up

*tories
permalink Other ownership:
First Group- founded by management buyout when Scottish bus services were privatised of Grampian Reginal Transport. PLC, based in Aberdeen. Other than fTPE, as noted about (they own 55%) they run First Capital Connect, First Great Western and ScotRail (which now uses branding imposed by Transport Scotland).

Stagecoach- privately owned bus firm founded by religious (catholic) zealots from Perth. Outirght run South West Trains and East Midland Trains, have a 49% stake in Virgin Trains (West Coast mainline). Also Sheffield Supertram.

GoAhead- the other 65% of Govia, a bus company (PLC) from Newcastle. Started similar to First- management buyout of Gateshead's local operation.

Arriva- bus company now owned by DB (as noted above), based in Sunderland. Started as a second hand motorbike trader.

National Express- despite fucking up East Coast and East Anglia, still running c2c (Fenchurch Street to Southend line) really, really well. Quite spectacularly well. The coach company that we all know and dislike. Management buyout at privitisation of the existing National Bus Company national Express brand and routes. based in Birmingham. Also run the Midland Metro tram system in Birmingham.

MTR- the privatised operator of Hong Kong's Metro, own half of LOROL (London Overground)

Serco- one of those evil multi-faceted "services" companies. Joint venture with Abellio to run Northern and Merseyrail. Runs the DLR.

Know thy enemy...
permalink the worst with the train leasing
is the pre-privitisation stock, which was sold to the ROSCOs on their foundation for a nominal sum.

The government pretty much decideds what stock is to be used on which services. As that stock can only be leased from one place, there's no competition. Train operators (TOCs) can, in theory, buy their own trains, but it would be ruinous to do so.

The new Thameslink and "Intercity Express Programme" (IEP) stock, as well as probably Crossrail stock, is being procured on a basis similar to PFI, in that the supplier will also be the ROSCO and maintainence firm, locking those routes into the contracts for ~30 years.
permalink Is it a requirement,
or does it just make you look good?
permalink Is this a philosophical question about children and the institution of marraige?
I think the Jams are actually considering adoption themselves, and that it was not at all work related, but I may be wrong.
permalink i think we know that
and that's why amerella asked.. does it merely advance their cause or is it essential
you don't want any weird fucker adopting children right?
permalink Sorry.
I'm being a spanner this morning when it comes to reading things and divining their meaning.

edit: are you allowed to say "spanner"? If not, I apologise.
permalink I think spanner is still ok
spaz, spazmo, spacker and spastic are out though. political correctness gone mad. which of course you can't say either these days for fear of offending the mentally incompetent. political correctness gone slightly awry.
permalink Astonishingly
Rigby has correctly divined my meaning.
permalink Yet while we* debate the meaning of the question,
we remain without an answer.

* OK, just me, everyone else was entirely clear.
permalink Sorry, I've been in a meeting.
`
permalink how rude
*has a calming cup of tea*
permalink I believe it was a requirement.
We went to an information evening after expressing an interest.
We then said we wanted to proceed, and had an initial visit from two social workers.
They gave us the ok to proceed and we were invited on this three day course.
At the end of the course we formally applied to adopt.

Next, we are assigned a social worker and they assess us. This is between 7 and 12 two-hour meetings, and they also visit family and our referees.

After that they write up the report and recommend an action (that we should be allowed to adopt, hopefully). It then goes to panel who also recommend an action, then a head honcho signs off their decision.

If successful at that point we'll be matched to some kids, it goes back to panel for a formal decision then the introductions start.
permalink That's reassuringly thorough, and I'm sure it's essentially
a big long formality in your case.
Just don't mention lesbianism, bdsm or any form of queer, kink or poly at any point whatsoever.
permalink and hide THE shed
permalink and THE calendar
about THE shed.
permalink Actually we're moving the WRS
to the front of the house rather than in the back garden
permalink Are you joking?
If not, I'm fairly sure that structures such as sheds in the front garden require planning permission, and are not permitted development like they are to the rear.
I'm sure it would never be an issue, but if you get into a fight with a neighbour down the line, and he raised it with the council, it could cost you.
For info, see the BBC programme "The Planners" last week which had an old josser complaining about a small fence.
permalink For fuck's sake.
What about the fence? We're planning on a bit of fence across the front (because mrsjam won't let me enclose our land in a 7' tall fence).
permalink Check your deeds
a lot of developments have covenants against fences/aerials etc
permalink Sorry.
it took me 4+ minutes to write that, so I didn't realise I'd duplicated your advice.
permalink You provided more detail
:)
permalink You would normally be OK with a small fence.
However, check your deeds, it's very likely there is a restrictive covenant in favour of the original builder/developer which prevents you from doing anything material without their permission. They will charge you a "reasonable fee" to give you permission, but without it, issues will arise when a future buyer of the house does legal searches.

Additionally, the permission for your estate may have suspended permitted development because of the small size of the gardens (called an article 4 direction). In which case, you'd technically need permission for a shed anywhere on the plot.

Best thing to do is call the council and ask to speak to the Duty Planning Officer (not a specific person, just someone who is available to casual enquiries at that time) and explain what you want to do. They'll give you proper advice that's related to the information they hold in their database for your street/property. If they say it's all OK, write tot hem and ask them to confirm it in writing, so you can brandish it if there are any queries about ti when you sell the place.

I am deliberately avoiding the discussion wrt the aesthetic merit of a shed or 7ft fence in your front garden.
permalink Ok, ta.
Out of interest, what do you mean by "could cost you"?

Wouldn't it be "move the shed?" and I then move then shed?
permalink You would have three options:
1. Move the shed.
2. Apply for retrospective planning permission for the shed (£135 plus the cost of any drawings - probably nil).
3. Ignore the problem, which could give rise to more catastrophic costs, including the council removing the shed and then charging you for the privillege

If you wanted my opinion (without prejudiuce ;-)) you probably wouldn't get planning permission for it either beforehand or retrospectively, so your only option is to do it without permission and hope no-one calls the planning authority. However the bigger risk is that if they're called they then look into any other potential infringements, such as the shed at the rear if there's an article 4 direction.

iPlayer last week's programme, it's worthwhile as there were two relevant cases on there.

EDIT: For clarity, professionally I am advising you to not move the shed without permission. Personally, I am also advising you that moving the shed round the front is a silly idea and will look dreadful, and rob your living room of light.
permalink Will do, thanks.
`
permalink Note my later edit.
Now I'm qualified and properly insured, so I need to be clear in case someone else reads this site, takes action and then sues me.
Unlikely, but you know what I mean.
permalink Right. I was going to put it against the fence
on the shared strip of land (on the part that I own, not on the neighbour's part).
permalink Is that to the left or the right of the house as you look at it?
If it's right, then no issue with light I guess. I can't see it not affecting light in the living room if it's to the left, but I'm obviously doing this from memory.
permalink Right, so it wouldn't affect the light, nor the neighbours.
It's a pointless bit of grass nobody uses.
permalink I've had a quick google to remind myself.
It's marginal, it shouldn't cause anyone loss of amenity, and you're much more likely to get permission than if it were the front garden proper.

That area of grass is referred to in the house building trade as SLOAP, Space Left Over After Planning.
permalink SLOAP sounds like a bad 60s villian organisation
Space Lunatics Organistaion Against Peace
permalink I like this.
permalink 7' fence? what you need is bamboo
green temple bamboo..
permalink Clear your browser history
. .
permalink I'm pretty sure a bit of ebay, instructables and facebook
are ok.
permalink You want to avoid the thread on c4mbodia explaining
how to influence the adoption people.
permalink Never mind
;)

permalink I'll ask meep to accidentally flush the database
`
permalink Try explaining
Reddit
permalink uw uw
can i be a referee (i'm a godfather to a bunch of spanners kids)
permalink not that you're a spanner
more.. a polite weirdo obsessed with weird things
permalink it's not like i'm amassing an army of spanner kids or anything
*clears history*
permalink we went to the zoo
and then had tapas.
now im old
permalink Only death
to look forward to now
permalink This is absolutely rude and you can certainly ignore me,
but are you adopting because you cannot have your own or because you want to adopt to be morally awesome?

Or both?
permalink I have no particular opinions on adoption, you understand,
I am merely interested in everything.

Actually, I do have opinions, I would not adopt, but that is for a very specific reason and not one which would apply to other people, nor would I judge their choices by that personal failing.
permalink You say this as if the latter option is in fact not morally awesome.
I believe that it is indeed morally awesome to adopt rather than spawn your own, whether it's for medical reasons or not.
If you want to have two kids, by all means have one yourself and adopt the second. The human race is beyoind any necessity to produce multiple offspring for any reason other than vanity.
I will fight for your right to have multiple kids of your own, and there's nothing wrong with that, but if you choose to adopt instead, I believe that to be truly morally awesome.
permalink I think you're doing it again
I think the implication is that adopting is morally awesome.
permalink Goddammit.
Me and my uncontrollable inferences.
permalink He was
I think it is morally awesome.

I would not do it now, for REASONS, but I think it is smashing.
permalink Then I am truly sorry,
and once again, we agree.