thread I had a meeting at Westminster Abbey at 9am
That was interesting.

Constant meetings since, apart from tube travel back and 10 minutes of lunch. Next meeting in 45 mins. All about completely different projects.

My brain is leaking out of my ears.

Still, this tonight: https://www.barbican.o...
permalink i'm guessing the key is a bucket of red
and an ounce of charlie
permalink there's a conference going on downstairs
called 'Inspiring Briefs'

I don't mind what people do in the privacy of their own homes, but I wish they'd keep it out of my place of work
permalink sounds pants
to me.
permalink I've had a very long day in dundee
But on the train south from Edinburgh now, which is grand,
permalink Yay, these fuckers opposite me are getting off at newcastle
Her massive handbag on the table and the rest of her crap left me about 50 mm of table
permalink You could've asked her to move it
or gone passive aggressive and moved it by a cm every time she looked away.
permalink Did the noisiest fucks in the world get on though?
They usually do at Newcastle.
permalink I'd like to think
They weren't fucking on the train at all...never mind noisily
permalink Geordies on trains are a perpetual menace
I know it's a small proportion of Geordies who cause the nuisance, but most of the nuisance is caused by Geordies.
permalink *waves*

permalink I now have Sam Jackson going
"get these muthafuckin Geordies off my muthafucking train!"
permalink ah, there's something I'll miss
on my May/June trip north. As I'm going Sleeper. Rather reduces the chance of encountering the Geordie Menace if I avoid Newcastle completely.

Or Ely for that matter :P
permalink man, i they were doing a load of filming in edinburgh yesterday
high green screens and cranes etc etc.

i had a quick look btu then walked on.... turns out they were filming the avengers, I might have hung around for a bit
permalink I'm in Holland
You can imagine my condition, no doubt.
permalink i like the dutch
.... have some bitterballen
permalink I have done so
Many of them.
permalink How's it going
with Jim?
permalink Better
I have been better too.
permalink Good
permalink I would not go that far
permalink I've just been audited
for iso 27001

*feels slightly dirty*
permalink we were audited for 14001 once, environmental nonsense
it was the same day that a guy in the office had borrowed some choloform from his mate in a model making firm (if you get a licence you use it for bonding acrylic).. it was in an unlabelled doritos dip jar.

everyone was just trying to subtly pass it around and hide it somewhere.. and of course not mention it....

the auditors were really weird, they just wanted to know what would happen if our toilets leaked and it went into the canal next to us ("make it slilghtly cleaner "would be the answer) and didn't seem to care if we designed buildings with any care whatsover
permalink I took our company through 9001 and 27001 last week.
Not enjoyable.

Looks good on a cv though I guess.
permalink If you want a job doing that for some other bunch of bastards
Then yes
permalink Hmm. Good point.
I didn't really think this through did I?
permalink apologies for politicking
but some days, some days the relentless pointlessness of it all reaches such a depth you start to question your own sanity
permalink You should never be surprised at the stupidity
Of politicians

There is nothing to be gained

Being angry about it is equally futile, all you can do is find something better to do with your time
permalink TJ: An alternate asky:
I am out with my wife, two of our children and three other coups and their children. We decided to go to get some food. We went to a pub and it turned out that dogs are not allowed. I waited outside for a while, then went for a walk. My wife came out and say with me and then moaned that she was cold. I suggested that I go to the beach and wait and now I am clearly in trouble because the situation is awkward and she feels like she either had to look after me or have fun.

I think that my problems make her think I am an invalid and she resents looking after me, and I wish I had never talked to her about it, but from my perspective it feels like our friends are cunts for not changing pubs once they realised I was unable to come in.

I want a third party opinion, whilst I sit on the beach with my dog.

Incidentally, I cannot go home because my car is three miles away and blocked in by one of the other couples.

Am I being a paranoid and unreasonable burden? I am not trying to be, I just thought I'd go for a walk while they ate, since I could not go in.
permalink It is also
Fucking cold.
permalink why is no-one else offering to dogsit
while you warm up and have a pint of chips?
permalink I think because they are cunts.
My wife has come and found me with one child and some cold chips. I am clearly in trouble for causing this embarrassment. She needs a wee but cannot go back in the pub, it seems.

Resultantlt we are aimlessly walking around for an indeterminate period of time until the others finish, waiting to walk back to the car.

Oh, and I am am arsehole because my wife could not stay, but she really could.
permalink Oh fuck me
I just voted into two of them, buying lottery tickets. They have finished eating and are getting a bus back. They might have thought to let me know, the cunts.
permalink why not leave teh dog outside?
permalink You do not have a dog,
do you?

I am not leaving a chocolate Labrador outside a Witherspoons for an hour and a half on a Saturday night.

I am not leaving her out there for ten bloody minutes.
thread I am the only person after security at this airport.
I have never had so much service. Teams, designed to deal with thousands, attend me.
permalink Oh, and I suppose "guess the airport"
although if I tell you that I had hog's pudding for breakfast from the restaurant, it will probably narrow it down somewhat.
permalink I don't know what hogs pudding is
But I like the sound of it
permalink It is a bit like white pudding,
only more so.

When are you in Deon this summer? I will get some in.
permalink Deon?
permalink Flight delayed.
About to run out of Wi-Fi.

I swear they deliberately block mobile coverage here, and there is no free extension to Wi-Fi for delayed flights, the fuckers.
permalink Exeter, right?
I notice that no-one else has attempted to guess.
permalink Surely Exeter
was never designed to deal with "thousands"...
permalink 50 people power flight, 8 flights an hour.
About 1200 people at any given time, plus arrivals.
permalink It is rather easy.
I have a mad woman who is shooting repeatedly that it is the same 'plane as they use to go to Manchester, over and over and over and over again.

Old people are mental.
permalink Just remembered I have to do baking tonight
because it's Red Nose Day tomorrow.

On the other hand, cake tomorrow!
permalink make a cake in the shape of some clown shoes
and as big as you like
thread *sniff*

Still, spring eh.

*wrings out coat*
permalink belfast was bloody cold yesterday..
edinburgh tonight.. i'm imagining it'll be bracing... as will the building site in dundee
permalink Yeah it was raining this morning
rather more than I expected. I had rain running down my arm into my pocket.
permalink so it's all kicked off down at parliament then
permalink channel 4 apparently named a suspect
bear in mind the suspect is dead. The person they named has been confirmed as alive by his lawyer, who's confirmed he's still very much in prison.
permalink the Mirror has named someone too
permalink yay!
permalink he sprang

bat not a spaniel
permalink TJ:
‪Can anyone recommend a cheap but sturdy Windows ten laptop for a teenager, please?‬
permalink amy's new lenovo seem pretty robust and decent
not sure the model number but it was on offer in currys.

woudl they not be ok with a chromebook? they've come on a lot at are capable, portable and good value.
permalink No
Not tally, I think.
permalink note that lenovo been found (several times)
to have been bundling their lapdogs with in-built spyware

perhaps less of an issue for teenagers (or more so depending on your perspective) but their rep in IT circles is pretty much dead
permalink oh i'd forgotten about that
maybe they were just learning on how to fit in with the west..
permalink I've got a £200 HP off ebuyer
It won't run a nuclear power plant, but it's got Word on it.
permalink Model?
permalink a 255 apparently
Which means nothing to me
permalink Vienna?
permalink Not in all good conscience,
permalink I like this
good for you.
permalink hehehe
permalink t420/430
less than 200 on ebay or refurbish sites (plus the child will develop biceps)
thread Guess the airport!
Today's clue is that the note I got in change was printed by danske bank
permalink George Best Belfast City Airport?
permalink We have a winner
I have no idea why Danish banks are printing uk banknotes but I did a double take getting out the cab.

TBH it sounds like a good pub quiz question
permalink Sorry, I rather spoiled the fun there,
with my obscure banking knowledge, didn't I?

(They bought Northern Bank in 2005 but it didn't rebrand until 2012)
permalink here's a thing
After about 7pm, Firefox doesn't work on phone or android tablet. Chrome's just FF. Internet is all fine, just FF. How can that possibly be a thing?
permalink After 7pm every night?
Does it have a parental restriction setting (possibly sync'd)?
permalink it looks like that would have to be an add on
and this isn't synched, it's really weird
permalink 1856
just died
permalink A work proxy or something ?
No extensions / apps?
permalink Nope
At home, and only FF, opera, chrome, others fine.
permalink FYI the note in question
permalink I know Belfast has become a mecca for hipsters
but that's ridiculous
permalink I got to ride in an ambulance yesterday
and it was fun, except for the bit where Scotty's face has been in a fight with a pavement.
He clipped a car wing mirror with his handlebars and came off going down hill.
Rest of him is mostly fine. Still this morning he's down because he's tired and achy and very very sore in the face.
twitter friends can see yesterdays face photos.
He's going to look so classy going through customs on Sunday with his list of drugs to take abroad.
permalink bugger
faces don't make effective braking / shock absobtion.

in other news i'm planning on getting a new bike
permalink and a new shower
to put it in?
permalink obvs
permalink he really should keep it
wheel side down
thread Guess the airport Bofo's
permalink Darwin?
permalink Not yet -
Ngurah Rai
Just leaving the Costa del Sol of Australia.
I must admit I don't get what Bali is about.
permalink Dunno, I haven't had the pleasure
I believe, much like the Costas, there are really beautiful bits if you head away from the beach
permalink We did this.
but if you wanted to go anywhere (even for dinner outside your villa it was a minimum $15 taxi ride.

I guess we already live in hot and humid conditions, are not big fans of the beach, and see enough Aussie bogans on a day to day basis as it is.
Found a few nice things to do with kiddo though - he at least seemed to enjoy it.
permalink To be fair
You could probably achieve much the same on the Gold Coast! Although Bali is probably closer to you guys!
permalink Wasn't expecting
A minor existential meltdown at my desk this morning, but there we go. Think I've dealt with it constructively. But being asked "what are you long term career goals" is just unfair.

Currently listening to the Polyphonic Spree to cope.

Been listening a fucking lot to the new Alt-J song "3WW" in the last week. I've generally been a bit put off by their stuff before, it's always come across to me as if they think they're much more clever than they really are. With this though i think they may have managed to make something truly outstanding. I keep hearing new details each time. And they've gone for much simpler yet at the same time more intelligent lyrics. I have an obsession here
permalink Oh, yes, it's really exceedingly good isn't it?
I even listened back to the first two albums on Saturday and the progression of the skills and song-writing is incredible.
They may turn out to not be a short-lived gimmick band, and actually be really exciting indeed.
I'm eagerly awaiting the album.
permalink I've made a development action for this year essentially be
"work out what the fuck I'm doing with my life"

So that's progress.

Could be an issue if i fail
permalink I think the answer is
short-term career goal: make it to 5pm
medium-term career goal: make it to Friday 5pm
long-term career goal: make it to Easter holidays
permalink 5pm?
I knock off at 4:45
permalink You'll never achieve your goals
with an attitude like that... etc.
permalink I write quite well.
I was thinking I might write novel to try and avoid travelling all the time.

The thing is, I have no idea what to write about. I am toying with biblical or classical stories, from the perspective of a minor (and invented) character, but I am unsure. I could write about existential dread, in the manner of Crime & Punishment or Knut Hamson's 'Hunger', or I could write from experience, if I had a focus.

I thought I would ask.
permalink I have a zombie horror type plot i mull over in my head occasionally
bu i hate scary films / books so i'd never do anything abou it..

I think books about people taking their clothes off (in the presence of vikings / romans / crusaders) seem to sell a little better than your existential dread ones nowadays... worth bearing in mind.. get dotty to illustrate it.

permalink I am best at prose - I need a vague plot and I can then develop dialogue and story well
I tend toward the wryly amusing, if I am honest.

I just need a plot.

Vikings are fun - I could do an historical novel I suppose - then the outline of the plot is already done.
permalink have you read Quarantine by Jim Crace?
a re-telling of The Temptation via a suite of minor invented characters, quite weird and interesting
permalink No.
If I am honest I do not know The Temptation either.
permalink Oh! THAT temptation
Yes, I know of that - not read the book though.

Biblical is fun, but would not sell well in the US once I had fucked it about.
permalink just write
the transatlantic publishing deal comes later
permalink I always preferred
the Four Tops myself
permalink Adlai's Son's Herds
A Book by Manley
permalink Vague update
today has been dreadful - but then every day was dreadful before and I notice it more now.

I think I am getting better, but I need to find something to do. I genuinely believe I would be a great NED, but I do have to accept that I am not going to make it that far and I need to slow down, so . . .

What are the options for weird, artistic eccentric men? I think I could act a bit, and I can write, but I cannot ask for money well. Anyone need a professional show off? I am mostly good at being affable and believable, understanding problems quickly, making decisions and negotiating.

If only I could apply any of the above to my actual own life.
permalink Are you still employed?
Apologies if I've missed something.

Also: NED?
permalink I am still employed, but I recognise that it is not sustainable.
Non-Executive Director
permalink Ah, right
I thought you were planning a career as a Glaswegian chav
permalink Have you looked into
Motivational speaking / team building etc etc

Seems like the sort of toss. And ex military it exec has a ring to it.

Have you considered sitting around in your pants posting purile photoshops on the internet ?

permalink I used to enjoy doing that.
Sadly it pays poorly. I thought a novel might get me out of work.
permalink C_I has a friend who is a rather successful novelist IIRC
He may be able to advise you on the time it takes to get from having nothing written to having a viable and sustainable income from writing.

You may sense from my tone that I am immensely sceptical.
permalink I think that is a reasonable place to be, but I could write and work for a bit.
See how it goes.
permalink Amy's mate is a novelists
She's had her first book reviewed on Richard and Judy and has now written five or six... she is basically earning less than if she worked in a shop
permalink My friend Chris is 21 books in, 22nd publishing soon, 23rd just finished writing.
At one a year, he does very well.

Getting started took him a few years of writing hard whilst doing other jobs in journalism, and I think it was the third or even fourth novel he finished that actually got him a deal.

He stuck at it because it was what he always wanted to do, and to be fair, he has considerable talent for writing fiction. He only got going because he worked his fucking ass off for a few years without making a penny out of it.

Worth it for him, as he became a full-time novelist and has done very well, but it definitely wasn't an easy thing and required a lot of resilience. He is also much more successful than many novelists... A lot make hardly anything.
permalink does said friend, perchance,
boil frogs?
permalink He has done.
That is the very chap.
permalink Fwiw non fiction is in at the moment
Write a biography , a damatised one at least
permalink Chapter 11 - Weighing my Shit
Chapter 12 - I Have No Engine
permalink The little van that couldn't?
permalink Well I am in city airport this morning
After getting up 2h20m before my flight departs I somehow managed to get here, through security and finished breakfast with an hour and 15 until my flight left, too efficient really.

Tune in later for my thrilling "guess the airport" on the way home
permalink This is why I love LCY.
I once got there on the DLR and discovered I'd forgotten my passport. Luckily I was living in Stratford so I got the DLR back to Stratford, grabbed my passport and got a taxi back to the airport.

I was then through the entrance, through security, to the gate and up the steps of the plane within four minutes, just as they closed the doors behind me.
permalink Sounds frightfully slow and busy
compared to Exeter.
permalink I used Exeter once
seemed a bit big and fancy compared to Newquay
permalink I've never used
permalink amused by this
story abouyt them dropping security checks there

Especially the "but maybe a terrorist would travel to Barra to board a flight to glasgow to try to hijack it so that they can fly a piddly little twin otter into something" line of reasoning. Christ, you'd do barely less damage flying a private cessna into a building