thread Stansted is an absolute delight this afternoon
.. a mere 1h15minute delay which should get me to Gdansk a little before midnight.

I can only be very glad I didn't go via Luton... As always
permalink Could be worse
Next week we get to spend a few hours in LAX
permalink you'll be interested in this..
(and when you go tell them to get their arses to england)
permalink I saw that
There a band I'm aware of, but not overly familiar with, as they were finished before we got here
permalink there's a bloke in our office block at work I see occasionally
who looks like David Thewlis in Fargo. It's very off-putting; I always let him go first on the coffee machine upstairs.
permalink A lady in my office
wants to keep running an expensive printer because it's on her desk, and she'd have to actually stand up when she wants to scan something if we got rid of it.
permalink send her to a website
that proves toner output from printers gives you cancer and she'll soon give it up.
permalink if she just wants a scanner
you can buy dirt cheap usb flatbeds. bet you can get one from aliexpress, I know you're fond of them.
permalink Or she could just go to the large printer
that has a sheet-feed scanner that's set up to email her the scans with three button presses.
permalink how glamorous
we're not allowed one of those, some IT bollocks excuse.
permalink The data protection is non-existant
but I've also given her a USB stick and said "if there's any personal data then use the USB stick, NOT email".

I've not been told who our data person is or what the data breach reporting procedure is, or whether internal emails are considered secure.

But this employee emails invoices over to HQ so the scanner isn't the weak point.
permalink I don't think it's data protection
I just think our IT people are too lazy to sort it out.
permalink "Stansted is an absolute delight this afternoon"
is a sentence that has never been uttered with sincerity.
permalink It can hardly be a coincidence
that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase "As pretty as an airport" - Douglas Adams
permalink I was not being sincere
I went through security behind 40 Spanish school kids..
permalink I hope you had earplugs in!
God I still remember hoardes of them roaming Dublin in the 80s causing havoc, whilst "improving their English". I wouldn't recommend getting caught in DART (local train) carriage with 50 odd of them!
permalink They're still there.
One very cool thing my Mum did at the weekend was to plough pointy elbowed through a hoard of them on Dalkey Main St, telling them loudly to get the fuck out of the way in Spanish, with us giggling in her wake.
permalink Excellent
permalink haha!
permalink Oh, I realise this of course...
The only thing worse is Italian school kids
permalink i stoopidly attempted a 'pop-in' to the british museum yesterday
being with walking stick meant i was expressed through the queue to get in
but once in.. oh my days.. i fucking hate school holidays
thread Meh.
Back from Dublin. A demanding trip it was, the 1st time I've seen the folks in 13 months. And things have changed a *lot*.

See, I was born on my Dad's 23rd birthday, when my Mum was 21, and I'd left the house by the time they were in their mid 40s, but they're now 76 and 78, and for the first time ever, they are ancient. There's all sorts of medium to serious health issues rising, they've become very forgetful and doddery, they have no understanding of the sort of life we lead ('Why do you go on these nice foreign holidays if you haven't paid off your mortgage?'), and the house is looking more and more old and shabby and manky and they refuse to get a cleaner. Mum in particular is getting very judgmental, especially about Edwina (my wife, who one or two of you have met; eg. Rigby, Amy, Scoff, Witchy) and it was meat, meat, meat for every meal (to the point that I felt like shit for much of yesterday and today). My sister is waaaaaay cool, but she has her own stuff going on (her health is bloody awful), and she lives a good few hours from them, so I couldn't really talk to her about it.

Not sure why I'm venting here, except maybe to see what you lot think about family. Do you feel guilty about preferring to be in another country with your WAG/HAB than with your blood family? I'm trying not to but...
permalink My parents have lived in London and the South East all their lives
and while they do average out as a bit right wing, they're not too stuck in their ways. I lived at home full time for 12 years in total so we've been our own people for a long time.

I wouldn't want them next door though.
permalink Sorry dude, that is tough
Mrs C had the same problem, but ultimately, you can help to some degree, but you have to live your life. And we moved rather further than an hour's flight away. So its natural to feel a little guilty, you wouldn't be human if you didn't, but try not to.

Mine of, course, followed us half way round the planet, although they live a 7 hour drive from us, but an hour from my brother, so we don't see them that much. They're both doing fine (well Dad has had serious heart stuff, but under control), and in their early 80s now, but I do worry about them. Especially once something happens to one of them
permalink That's my biggest worry;
once one of them goes, the other will *totally* fall to bits.

They've known each other since they were teenagers, they were virgins (or at least they claim to have been) when they got married in 1962, and apart from one long weekend Mum spent in New York when she worked for Shell in the 80s, a few days when Dad climbed a Scottish mountain in the 70s, and the week Dad was in hospital in 2001 when he was having, as he put it, a '...leaky washer...' in his heart tightened up, they've never spent a night apart. They're *utterly* in love, which is of course wonderful, but I dread to think what's going to happen when one or other of them dies.

And yep Amy, although politically they're life long socialists, they also seem oddly right wing these days...
permalink I try to avoid too much politics
Although (a) Dad's a little less argumentative now he's cut down on the sauce a bit and (b) the world's such a political clusterfuck, I think we're all more or less on the same page.

We're going to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary in Novemeber. Blimmy hyraki!
permalink Yeah,
we tried to keep the sociopoliticals to a minimum, but the litany of moaning about muffin tops, dog shit, loud music coming from cars, young women in crop tops etc etc still became tedious.

No problems with poltics, Mum even called Trump a twat.
permalink In other news
We always get some provisions in when my folks visit, which they never usually use, the old "we didn't want to eat your food"!

Which does mean I've just had a bacon buttie for breakfast. Nom.
permalink Works the other way too,
I put some of last year's wasabi on my full Irish brekkie yesterday morning.
permalink I was nipping out to the shops for milk and my
mum asks if i've got enough money.

I'm not sure how she thinks i've survived for 42 years and forgets that i earn considerably more than they do.

permalink In all fairness
there have been times when you've gone without your wallet.

But yes.
permalink Ha!
permalink I resemble that remark.
permalink Mine started a bit right wing
so they've got a head start ;) like you, I think they'll struggle if one goes, although they're definitely a bit more independent of each other than yours.

I think the time will come when we spend a few years abroad, hopefully they'll keep the medical dramas to a minimum.
permalink we had my mum down to visit last weekend
and she's pretty good and still active and stuff. dad is struggling to get around.

My great auntie is having real trouble as at the age of 95 she's just stopped being able to cycle to the cafe every day for lunch and so has to ask for a lift and might need a walker... unfortunately she's a relative by adoption and i don't have any of her genes.
permalink Blimey
Good effort. I don't mind making it to that age, if I'm like that
permalink This,
very much this. I've had quite a few rellies in the generation above Mum & Dad make it into healthy 90s, and some even into the 100s without too much bother.
permalink grandmother in law passed away peacefully in her sleep at 99
pretty deaf but completely with it mentally until the end, spent her last few years sleeping and reading. Not a bad way to go
permalink Similar to Scoff's missus
I am the other side of the world away from my parents, and have been for close to 20 years.
In that time I've only been back twice, and to be honest didn't really enjoy it that much either time (my parents used to live in the 6th worst place to be in the UK).
My parents have been over 4-5 times in that period though, most recently in May / June of this year when my dad turned 79.
They are definitely starting to show their age these days, mum more than dad as she has never been very active.
While they were over my dad had what we thought at the time was a stroke - he couldn't control his limbs, or speak, but the paramedics identified as being an ultra low blood sugar for which they prescribed a bottle of ginger beer.
Two days later he was 7m up a ladder drilling holes into a massive palm tree so he could then cut it down!
permalink Ah, I should have pointed out
That both Mrs C's folks have died since we moved over. Her dad just a couple of months after we moved (he had Parkinsons, and it could have been then, or years later). Her mum was about 3 years later, although she got home in time to see her off
permalink ah it's tough.. i have a pretty honest relationship with my mum
and she tells me hitting 70 is something else.. she lives in NZ which is a bitch
and she kind of lost her way for a bit but i bought her a very cool camera and she's got right into that
she's still pretty much left wing though but thought brexit was a good idea* until i sent her a few articles..
& seemingly like most aged ex-pats she delights in the royal family and just knows not to mention it to me

would it be possible to pay for a cleaner and have them pretend it's a new government policy..
free clean up once a week.. i know my mum would fall for that as i've done something similar

*mostly a misunderstanding of 'sovereignty'.. oh how we laughed about hume's rousseau and bataille understanding of it
permalink The cleaner thing is not a bad idea,
but I think she'd twig it pretty quickly. Then I'd get the 'You think my house is dirty, do you?' thing.
permalink yeah that would make things a shit-tonne worse
families man.. what can you do?
permalink Grandparents moved back to rural Ireland when they retired in the mid 90s
All the family are in England. They were basically in huge decline for two years but hiding it and not wanting to make a fuss. Made things much harder to deal with when everything (cancer / dementia) hit at once. Getting old is not for wimps

At the same time, it was their choice and they knew what they were getting into. None of the rest of us wanted to make the move to be nearer.
permalink We have a small child
so it's been pretty easy to opt out of visits (not that any parents are abroad). MrsJam's dad and my mum and step mum are ok, but they're all difficult in their own way. They visit fairly regularly but it's rare that we visit them.

Fortunately they live close enough for visits to be short, but far enough for them not to be overly frequent. My father in law stayed for a week last time he came and that was too long.

We're off the opinion that family is what you make it, which they're all largely used to now.

Edit: I just forgot the WHERE part of an UPDATE. Oops.
permalink To your edit, doh!
We've all been there.
permalink my folks are in their mid-70s
but generally pretty healthy for having lived active and outdoor lives

I did start to worry about their mental health a few years back, but found that they improved massively once they each got a second round of hearing aids that properly worked and they actually started using them. I think that a lot of apparent dementia symptoms can just arise from gradually going deaf and not taking appropriate action, as they become closed off from the world.

The judgemental/right wing thing seems to be universal though, while I get on with them fine most visits are spent waiting for my mum's next off-hand insult to my wife

Also, old people discovering Facebook is basically the root of society's ills
permalink I've been told off by my Mum
for swearing on FB. In front of all my friends.

But the insults to my wife make my blood boil; Edwina is head of fine art at Wimbledon School of Art, and Mum more or less asked her when she was going to get a proper job. And it's not as if we haven't told her about Edwina's work before. And her fucking PhD. She's a fucking Doctor, for fuck's sake!
permalink See my mum would love that
Us techy children aren't much currency in Book Club chat
permalink All this would be resolved
if y'all would only acquire children. Then they wouldn't give a crap about you.
permalink Can confirm.
permalink my brother took care of that
so I don't have to

unfortunately they're the ones that live abroad and I'm the one nearby
permalink Yeah, but a Dr of the Arts!
permalink As a Dr of science I am keeping well out of this!
But I can vouch for Dr Mrs Pxy being all teh lovely
permalink She speaks highly of
the Cruddles too.
permalink My folks are early 60s
I was on holiday on their yacht* the other week. Which I think sums up my circumstances on that?

*They own 1/5th of it, which is rather better value given they have no desire to move to Greece or live on a yacht full time.
permalink perfect
thread He he
I knew Scotland would do us proud


Spiderman costume
"With great power comes great responsibility, ya radge orange bampot"
permalink So I work for a project of the Church of England
which is trying to get the church in Wigan to do a bit more of the stuff Jesus told us to do instead of just being a social club.

There's objection, mostly from the kind of people who think church is all about what goes on inside the building and don't really care about the world outside.

I've started talking to some of these people on facebook. It's been incredibly frustrating. It's far worse than being a mod on reddit.
permalink The whole idea
Sounds like the worst of the internet and the worst of the real world wrapped into a neat parcel
permalink Hasn't that been the whole problem
since Constantine?
permalink Constantly
Also, I realise Keanu wasn't great in that film, but I don't think you can blame him for everything!
permalink Earlier than that, it's in the Bible.
permalink To be fair, if you make it a chore rather than a gathering of friends etc.
Then you might as well just shut up shop now.

So you have the unenviable task of making hard work enjoyable and friendly. When you finish than, pop round and weed my garden would you
permalink The thing is, what starts out as a gathering of friends
can slowly become something different.

The things you do because it's a good way to be a gathering of friends who worship God together gain importance, and you end up devoting all your time, energy and money to maintaining the services and the building when really, there's no need for either any more.

It's just really difficult to say (and for people to hear) "You know this thing you've been doing for 50 years? Well, it's time to call it a day." It implies that they've been doing it wrong all along, which often isn't the case.

Edit: I also hate facebook. I'd love to say "look, can we shift this to reddit? It actually threads conversations properly" but I don't think anyone would bother.
permalink you should set up your own church
with ever so slightly different ways of doing things. and focusing on slightly different parts of the bible more.

that always seems to work
permalink That would be so much easier.
permalink Write out your vision and plan
Pin it up somewhere visible, such as the front door
permalink and then in 500 years time
I might become the most successful playmobil figure in history!
permalink it's good to have
permalink People's Front of Judea
Or Judean People's Front?
permalink splitters
permalink just become a zen buddist
it's a lot easier on your constitution MAN!
permalink Sounds like what's been going on at the Jehovahs Witnesses
someone on high has pointed out they're meant to be evangelical and now they're on every street corner, looking very reluctant to be there and studiously avoiding eye contact with everyone
permalink ah so it's not just me
I thought i was baing stalked for a while there.
permalink They've always been pretty active in Wigan
One of their leaders has a wife who left and became a proper Christian, and mentioning her is a great way of ending a conversation with them.
permalink Excellent work.
We were at a wedding yesterday... a splendid day of drinking too much in the sun with excellent people.

Both a bit broken today...
permalink I'm slightly disturbed by how not broken I feel
Ran the WUU2K* 43km trail marathon on Saturday, and today should be DOMS** day, but the legs are feeling remarkably good. Still feel tired, but not as totally fucked as expected. Managed 5:45, which I am well happy with, wasn't expecting sub-6 hours. Could have been faster, but fell to bits a little in the second half.

*WUU being Wellington Urban Ultra, and 2k, as roughly 2km of climbing
**I realise every day is Dom day, but this being delayed onset muscle soreness. AKA why you hurt more 2 days post-exercise
permalink 43k?!
that is just bonkers
permalink Hey, I could have been doing the 62k version
Which had about another 800 m of climbing too
permalink i did love the
'WE WILL OVER COMB' banner :)
permalink I think my favourite was
"I'm missing Wimbledon for this, you tangerine wankmaggot"
permalink WE'RE BRITISH!
thread trumpton
is it just me or in this photo does it look like a magician has just stuck a 10p piece behind may's left arm

permalink Weird.
She also has a ring on her other arm the same size.
permalink She's diabetic
Its a glucose sensor.

permalink Or a mind control device
permalink Ahhh... Or is it full of nobochok and Putin has the remote contol
Hmm hmm hmm? Hmm?

Think about it!? Wake up sheeple!
permalink hahaha
permalink That makes her weirdly human.
I'm not sure I'm ready for this information.
permalink If she tells Trump where to stick his trade deal threats
I think she might earn a little bit of my respect.
permalink That was exactly my feeling
Loathsome fucking individual.
permalink nah, it's just really hard to make robotic pancreases
permalink I just read that peter Mandelson has sided against her
,.. Christ, it's like they are trying to make her likeable
permalink I loved that his reaction to him being depicted as a giant baby
was to behave like a giant baby.

A neighbour left her abusive partner and moved in with us (with her 11 year old boy) while they waited for a council house. They move out over the weekend.
At work we've had a group of people on a gap year, and their leaving do is tomorrow.
My friends from australia are returning to australia because their son (in his 20s) has bowel cancer. They leave on Sunday.

I'm a bit sad about it all. Especially the australians.
permalink Wow, mad respect for helping out your neighbour,
Although it's a shame that the abused has to move and not the abuser .
And fuck cancer.
permalink She's in a nicer, larger house in a nicer area
And had a fresh start. She's come out of it really well.

permalink Just been to lidl.
Car park was nearly empty, but when I came out someone had parked a bit too close which made getting eve in a bit difficult.

I then got in and as I was faffing about the driver of the other car came back and rutted at me! Presumably for having the audacity to still be there.
thread Bored bored bored.
Might go sit in the workshop and wire up some toys.
permalink Are we helping?
permalink not really
But I made it to 5.45.

Time to go home.
permalink Whilst it's lovely to see my parents for a few days
They did choose the most awkward week to pitch up, oh well.

I have got way too much shit to get done, but likelihood of much of it happening today, with pre-race nerves/excitement are low
permalink went to see the David Millar* film
it was good. Go see, unless you deeply hate David Millar, as there's a a lot of him in it. And Thomas Dekker and Thomas Dekker's hair.

They had a trailer for "FBPE: The Movie"**. This film should not exist. I think I can understand the claimed rationale, but much like FBPE itself, is fundamentally flawed and a pointless circlejerk with a spunk covered AC Grayling in the centre

*an ex pro cyclist, the film is called Time Trial
**not the real title
permalink And for those of us who haven't been following
What is FBPE?

Freudian Big Penis Envy?
permalink fiendish bag (of) Penis' emptying?
permalink All over AC Grayling by the sounds of it
Oh, god!
permalink *whooooooooosh*
permalink haha
permalink *sigh* you lot.

Follow Back Pro European. Be more scared of the #WATON lot though - We Are The Opposition Now.

People are cunts.
permalink So, I take it it is more unpleasant than just being anti-Brexit?
Cos I'd like to think we're all pretty damn anti-Brexit

Brexit is shit, a horrendous mistake, and surely should be opposed at all opportunities?

Although I'm having trouble parsing the phrase, it doesn't scan well. Why not just #FuckBrexit?
permalink OK, having had a google round the subject
I'm failing to see just what's so bad about #FBPE, terrible language aside
permalink it's been very much morphing in to
"YOU'RE BETTER OFF VOTING FOR THE TORIES THAN CORBYN'S LABOUR" and every two weeks one of them will found a new political party.

I'm not sure what actual effective opposition is, but FBPE isn't it.

Making a documentary that will only be seen by people who already fundamentally agree with the premise isn't it.

permalink Corbyn is a massive cunt for his stance on Brexit though
Basically he's perfectly happy with Brexit, just when we needed a fucking opposition. Voting Tory, is however not a solution
permalink oh, I agree
but if the choice is "out of the EU with a corbyn government" and "out of the EU with a theresa may or worse government", what with the Lib Dems being even less sure what they're up to than normal, I know which way I'm voting. They're very much allied to the "sensible" Labour types who seem to think that Yvette Cooper would currently have a 20 point lead in the polls.
permalink And they've made a film?
permalink yes
you see, by making a documentary in which very clever people say how awful Brexit is, that will be seen only by people who voted remain in cities that voted remain, showing only in places like the Picturehouse cinema chain, they'll totally overturn brexit. It will all be worth it.
permalink Very much this.
Like most movements it started out as a perfectly good idea but soon got hijacked by twats and tory cunts.
permalink What on earth are you talking about?
I mean the second bit.

I'm hoping the orica greenedge film is released soo
permalink In addition to not knowing what Al was BTFOA
Poor form dropping that and not sticking around to explain!
permalink All for one film
It's been released in NZ and Australia for ages.
permalink WTFAYBOA