thread SNER
permalink Lol
permalink No SNER in Fife.
I assume London will be totaly broken by the time I get back tonight, thanks to a relatively paltry amount of the SNER...
permalink Never mind the London
I imagine every train in Britain is laid up right now.
permalink Except for in all the places where there isn’t any snow?
East Coast Mainline looks ok at the moment thankfully.
permalink Fingers crossed
It's getting a bit crunchy out there now

If this all freezes it'll be hellish tomorrow
permalink Arse.
As People Of The North, you and I are perfectly capable of walking, or indeed driving, down a snowy street without the world ending, but most of the Southern UK clearly isn't.

Where am I going tomorrow morning? Oh... Ealing Broadway for 09.30. Hopefully not too awful.
permalink nobody seems to think of sweeping / clearing / gritting footpaths either
5 minutes with a shovel gets rid of as much snow as an hour with a pick-axe will clear ice.

permalink That doesn't sound
very app-Ealing
permalink Snoo!
permalink SLERT!
permalink is it time
to bring ERMAHGERD out again?
permalink Steady now
permalink I've made a snowman and put up the Christmas tree
wanted to go for a bike ride, but decided against it. Just doing a roast.
permalink It's not often that we get the weather so beautifully
out of sync over summer/winter. Although it is a relatively cool 26° here today!
permalink must be hell
permalink It actually rained* yesterday!!!
For the first time since Nov 8th! We don't normally have a late spring/early summer like this. Already have water restrictions.

*fuck all rain, but wet stuff was observed falling groundwards
permalink They had snow down in Tasmania last week.
Meanwhile our minimum temp up here in Darwin is warmer than your maximum. 7:30am and we've already hit 30!
permalink Well, that's what you get when you live in the tropics*
This is fairly unusual for Wellington, whose climate is more akin, generally, to Hobart.

My folks were over in Tassie not long ago, and yes, got snow.

*that and giant crocodiles
thread Fingers crossed, flights seem to be running a healthy 15 minutes late
.. which would mean getting home around 7.10pm

which would be more than welcome. I predict a bottle of red and lighting the woodburner

permalink my plane is on it's way, just taking off from SEN

permalink Talk of significant snow today has so far come to naught.
There was 2-3" at mine overnight, but it's apparently not snowed there all day, contrary to the forecast, and they're predicting no more till overnight tomorrow.
permalink Three inches
is always disappointing
permalink Especially when it's
three inches that comes suddenly, when you were expecting six or more over a longer space of time.
permalink And you've made all the preparations,
like clearing out the back yard.
permalink Aaaaaand I'm done.
permalink and gritting the approach.
permalink *beer*/*nose*

Sudden spillage, don't you just hate it.
permalink This doesn't usually happen!
permalink Lewis left us two bottles,
one white one red.
permalink Nice

I have landed! Touched tarmac at 18.13, let's see how fast Sarfend can get me to the car
permalink Plus point:
I'm in the last row

Minus, another plain seems to have landed in front of us
permalink At the car
thread Off to the frozen North
Feels like MINUS FUCKING WHAT, Met Office???

I have ALL the LAYERS.
permalink I have my fingers crossed that my easyjet at 6pm is not delayed
permalink AMS-SEN?
Probably far enough south to miss the really freezy stuff?
permalink Yeah but depends where my plane spends it's day
permalink Fair point
permalink the earlier flight is apparently 2 hours late
... fingers crossed
permalink It's a total fucking mess in gatwick north right now
If that's where you're headed, recommend getting here ahead of time possibly after taking some valium
permalink Ah yes. There's a reason for that.
That's because IT'S GATWICK.


Managed and staffed by utter incompetents. Nasty, cynical operation.
permalink I discovered it's
a 'lovely' place to spend a weekend once. There's only so much to-and-fro you can do on that little shuttle train to entertain a 7yo.
permalink Just keep walking
And walking

And walking

And walking

Through the endless retail


permalink Having recently travelled through LGW for the first time in about 12 years
I can only agree. FUCKING HORRIBLE. And that's just the clusterfuck that is security. I mean, even Heathrow was much more pleasant!
permalink It is the shithole of shitholes.
All the other shitholes look at Gatwick and go, "hey mate... you're taking it it a bit far there."
permalink So, I am being offered €250 cash or €350 vouchers for FlyBe
Which should I take?

permalink Do you use FlyBe often anyway, and pay for it yourself?
Or have a personal/family trip planned where you could use them? If not, take the cash.
permalink I'd make an argument for
€350 cash!
permalink I'm assuming this is EU compensation, due to a delay,
so the €250 is fixed.
permalink I use them quite a lot,
but I do not fly except for work trips.

I can either take the €350 and expense it over time, if I remember and the receipts are suitable or take the €250 and spend it on coke and whores on Sunday.
permalink Pretty sure the receipts wouldn't be suitable.
Also, if you are tempted, check whether the voucher would cover taxes and charges, and if it can be used across multiple bookings.
permalink If Trump's Jerusalem speech can be described as
'an important step toward peace', snorting coke off a hooker's tits can be receipted as 'lunch with a consultant'.
permalink Or, as it was (*ahem* allegedly) known in the BBC,
"fruit and flowers".
permalink Ah yes,
I seem to remember that from the biog of Motley Crüe
permalink The boiler died last Thursday
I am working from home today in ALL OF THE COATS!
permalink Try a plumber instead
They are toasty warm if you sit under a pile of them
permalink I have one.
Today he is removing the meter in the flat downstairs to pump all the gas out of the systems.
permalink The Lovely Mrs Witchy was
chatting to me last night from beneath a veritable moontain of quilts and stealing heat from the cat. I gather it's a tad chilly out there.

Natch I'm on hols for the next 5 days and it's going to be fucking baltic. Still, works xmas do today so LET'S GET RATTED! Oh wait it's in a country hotel you have to drive to and only for 2 hours. But it's the first proper xmas do we've had since the grief of the last 3 years kicked off so it's all good.
permalink Have blokes in the Toon
been spotted wearing coats yet?
permalink divvent be daft man.

I of course will be bucking* the trend in a couple of weeks and will probably be called Coaty McCoaterson.

(*that's BUCKING you filth merchants)
permalink And can honestly say
they don't enjoy a jolly good bucking?
permalink I am home!
away just long enough to completely erase any semblance of a body clock

the rest of today consists of fighting to stay awake until something resembling a bedtime
permalink Yawwwwnnnnnn.
Day off; read a book, make a podcast, a little light masturbation, something unsuitable for lunch. Maybe some shit TV later.
permalink Sounds splendid
Have a good wohnk.
permalink oh i didn't realise you did a podcast
link me up!
permalink Here you go:-
permalink Conversely, my dad has been evacuated
because of this:

4100 acres, 0% containment! That's a lot of uncontained fire...
permalink blimey!
i hope he gets to go back to a haus
permalink Well, all his webcams are still working
and you can no longer see fire from any of them, so I'm hopeful.

He left a load of sprinklers running on his roof, so he may have a house and a massive water use fine, but i think that's the preferred way round.
permalink Apparently
Rupert Murdoch's house has burnt down?
permalink It wasn't particularly frosty this morning
and it hasn't snowed.

MrsJam is working, I've got Eve who is currently asleep.
permalink i don't mind the cold it's just the fucking wind.. it cuts right through me
every 'windproof' coat i've ever got has been bollocks.. i think i might just start wearing a yak
thread Flights on which to remember your headphones
A Thursday morning flight to Amsterdam is high on that priority list

Delayed 35 mins as well
permalink You may, if you wish, attempt to guess the airport
permalink I am in an Uber, on my way there
As we speak.
permalink Passengers for Klm, China airlines, China southern airlines, delta airlines
Please go to gate 45457
permalink Locked in her bedroom
Clickbait title.

My middle child is locked in her room, and I am out of the country. No matter how I tried to explain the mechanisms and show them what to do over face time, my wife resorted to hitting the handle with a rubber mallet.

In the end we got a neighbour in, but whilst strong he had no finesse, so I am going back to a shattered door frame.
permalink I am grateful to him, incidentally,
but were I there we would have had an easier time of it. And the door frame would not have been fucked up.
permalink Oh Manley !
permalink Southend
permalink Sounds a bit like

If you have the brain of a twelve year old.

Not in a jar.
permalink It was full of them
There was a 19 year old a few rows behind me who had had a couple of drinks and who was pathologically incapable of not talking at least once every 30 seconds
permalink What time do you land?
I suspect we shall just miss each other.
permalink Gate change!
This is a joy.
permalink Another gate change!
permalink I landed at 9.40 in the end
well.. finished taxi-ing at 9.40
permalink I was in passport control.
Lovely stuff.

I am still here.
permalink there are restrictions on flights because of the wind I think
... hence why we were delayed

permalink Mine was delayed because the flight attendant had toothache.
This is 100% true.
permalink Yes!
Best airport ever
permalink And congratulations
to our newly Kiwi member.

Hehe! 'member'!
permalink Chur bro
Tu meke
permalink Was there an actual test?
Did you need to gen up on ovine husbandry factoids?
permalink We had to swear allegiance to Liz*
And sing the more popular of the national anthems. No animal husbandry

*Queen of NZ, totally different person
permalink Utterly
Not the same.
permalink My flight has been delayed until 14:30
So I am now bored.
permalink Hello Bored
I'm Scoff!
permalink off out for a celebratory
permalink Lummy, Mr Striding and Lora have had a baby!
Or Kevin and Laura, if you prefer.
permalink lawks a'lordy!
permalink What flavour?
permalink Meaty
Probably. Mint would be unusual
permalink Mmmmm!
Nom nom nom.
permalink It's rude to eat babies apparently
Unless the parents offer
permalink I think we can take it as read that the offer, if not actually stated,
is clearly implicit.
permalink Errrr a boy.
permalink TJ: Christmas gift idea
permalink that's spot on in several ways
permalink I find it hard to tell these days
what's pisstake and what's real.
permalink *signs up*

Useful on New Year's Day if nowt else.
permalink ha!
i quite like this too
thread Happy birthday Chaotic!
permalink he's probably mid-wank
permalink wohnk.
Better get back to it.
permalink When I say I support you in this statement,
I am wildly understating my position.
permalink This
with bells on

:D Happy Wohnk day.
permalink A wohnk with bells on?
Is that where the phrase "jingle all the way" comes from?
permalink very very
permalink ^^
permalink Thank you all!
permalink indeed.

All of that with a hat hat hat.
permalink If only I still had that
Hoppy Bapsday gif.
permalink For some reason Paul Young comes to mind
...wherever I lay my hat...